Coming to the end
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Heather, no apologies are ever needed on here for anything. Should you wish to then please feel free to vent, shout or scream on here, I know that can help sometimes. My thoughts are with you, Gordon and your family right now.
Hugs,
Gavin
Dear Heather, it would not be normal or sane to feel any other way. You have so many people here wishing Gordon a peaceful journey. We are all with you in spirit and prayers are going out for Gordon. We are here should you need us!
Thank you Melinda. He is declining more and more, I just pray it is after Christmas, my little eight year old doesn’t need to have that memory at Christmas time every year however it isn’t my decision. God knows when and I need to start praying more and giving it to God more. Oh how it is so so so hard. One thing I never prepared for was so much company. My sister is coming to stay with us and she will be my greeter and such. I really am okay yall just got my crazy upset self.
Dear Heather,
You have not offended me or anyone! I and the others totally understand. I am 46 also, I have 6 children. ….I know the emotions of fear, anger and all the other emotions you could fathom! Please feel safe to vent here…we all just care and want to help in anyway we can.
MelindaHeather…I concur with the others. Please do not spend any energy on something that does not warrant an apology. Many of us have lived through the nightmares this cancer can cause and have personally felt it and seen it all. Stay strong and lean on the great people on this site. We are in this together.
Hugs,
MarionHeather,
If you can’t be honest about your feelings here, where else? This is the place to vent all you want. You have every right and we all understand. Many of us have been where you are now and felt just as you do know. I was 60 and my husband 62 when he passed away and I felt that was too young to have to deal with this, but at your age it is even more so. At the end I felt they should have been more honest with me, too. I too knew he was dying, but the doctors did not tell me it would be hours, not days. I’m sure they were just trying to soften the blow, but I would have rather known how quickly it was happening. I totally understand how you are feeling. Please continue to vent your feelings all you want. We are all here to listen, help and support you in any way that we can. Thinking of you and your family and sending you strength. You can do this. One day at a time.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHeather, please never apologize on here, you have upset no one, many of us have been there. Yes, it is over whelming and scary and yes your husband is way too young. Let it out, let it all out, that is why we are here for the Caregiver as well as the patient. I hope he is comfortable and if you need to vent go right ahead. Just a suggestion you might want to ask your Doc for something to just help take the edge off. In my 3rd year of losing Teddy all of a sudden I was crying over everything, even commercials. My Doc put me on a mild dosage of Lexapro 10mg. No side effects for me and does the job of making me not be more emotional. There is nothing wrong with a little help. I had never ever taken anything before but this really worked. My heart breaks for you and your little family. I so wish there was something I could do. I know it sounds crazy but try to be strong, very strong.
There is no need to seek another opinion. Gordon’s liver is failing. Everything has been done that needs to be done. My anger is real but please remember I’m just venting. I’m allowed, I have done everything I can do. No md Anderson isn’t all bad don’t misunderstsnd. But they do give a lot of fluff. This is a dr not the entire place. It’s hard. I’m sad and scared that is all. Md Anderson didn’t do this. My husband is dying at 46 years old. Being raw and wmotion doesn’t mean I need to put my anger to something good it’s just me venting. My 42 and just am over whelmed with so much. I’m sorry if I upset anyone.
Heather,
Thank you for sharing your true emotions, you can always vent with this supportive group. Cholangiocarcinoma is so scary because it takes turns with highs and lows so fast! Maybe another opinion is in order. Cherish your time together. Sending continued prayers of hope and healing. Hugs, LisaDear Heather,
I am so sorry. I appreciate your raw and true emotion that came through your post. This sucks and it is scary and I understand your anger. I agree with Lainy….maybe another opinion and try and direct your anger to what would be the most beneficial for you and Gordon. Stay strong and seek support here and in anyway you can….lean on those who can be strong for you right now. My prayers do go out to you and your husband…..MelindaHeather, I am so very sorry to read this post about Gordon. I know it is insane but have you sought another opinion? Why do they not replace the drain? This all does not sound like MDA. Heather, if things get closer to not looking good I do have a list of what to expect. Teddy followed it pretty closely and it lasted about 2-3 weeks. I feel so bad for you and your children. You have done quite well up to now, there is time to be angry later. Use this time wisely and above all try to stay very strong. If you would like that list just feel free to email me through this site and I will send it to you. Wishing for the best for your family.
I have been on here for a long time. Gordon was diagnosed two years ago. Is that great?? Well I would say yes and no. Did my children and I get more time? yes but at what cost to him? He has been in the hospital atleast once a month if not more since november 2012.
Some of you have been fortunate to have amazing results, some have had to say goodbye and some are right in the middle of the battle. In my husbands situation it looks like his liver has been damaged before we knew he had cancer so that changed alot of things.
What I am upset about is if the drs knew that than they should have discussed it with us instead of using him as a lab rat. Gordon was doing “okay” with just chemo before the IMRT treatment. No problems with the chemo, none of them ever stopped working, they just wanted to try something else . The IMRT treatment changed everything and no one wanted to explain.
So with all that said, his tumor markers went up, he started declining, the drain isn’t working anymore. So they say hospice! NOthing to them but huge to us and the MDA dr talks to us and agrees when all they said was they would never give up. NO ONE prepared us this could happen, did i know it could of course i did but my husbands spirit was crushed.
Gordon has two months to 6 months. He isn’t showing many signs of active dying yet. But even with the hospice nurses I asked how long and they say is “Im not a dr so I cant give prognosis” well we can’t see any other drs while on hospice and the nurse comes to our house. Gordon does not see the hospice doctor at all.
Am I angry? yes Im angry? WE HAVE been fighting for 2 years and we are back exactly where we were 2 years ago. Gordon is jaundice and sick now he is dying, was then but the kicker is no one would tell us then!!! Awful cancer.
I know this forum is encouraging but we need to be honest and raw. People need to know the facts not just sugar coat it to help you cope. IS there hope always but when it gets bad or about to the drs NEED to tell us.
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