Never heard of CC until March, 2009

laker-

I really am sorry about your Mom. I had never heard of this type of Cancer until my Grandmother ( she was 83) was diagnosed the end of Sept 08.

I remember asking the same question you did. ” What’s next? What do we expect? Will she be in pain?” Its a helpless feeling.

My Grandmother stayed in her home until 4 days prior to her death. At that point we were fortunate enough to get her into a residental hospice. We had been doing the care ourselves and with the help of a family friend and a Nurses Aid that would come in for bathing. Oh, and a nurse that checked in every few days.

They did end up giving my Grandmother something for agitation a few times. I couldn’t tell you what. My grandmother was severely diabetic. Looking back I feel some of her agitation came from diabetic shock due to the fact we could no longer give her insulin with any results.

I can tell you this ( and this is just my experience.) The last few days were relatively peaceful. Her pain was under control and she slept a lot. ( Again, maybe from diabetic shock or just from the large amount of drugs?)

However the things that scared me were this: She would kick off her covers and kept trying to speak. I couldn’t understand her and that made me feel bad. She did halucinate a few times. I had to lie to her and go along with what she was saying to calm her down. (i.e. She thought she was at her condo and it was flooding. She wouldn’t lie back down in bed until I promised to turn the water off. Of course she wasn’t in her condo and there was no water) There was also a time where we really had to work hard to get her to stay safe in bed. She kept trying to get up to “walk to heaven”.

We got a really good pamphlet on the stages of dying. It broke things down into a rough time line and gave us an idea, based on the clues her body was giving us, how much time she had left. It was very helpful. I think most hospice programs have something similar. The last day she slept mostly. Her breathing became more labored. She passed away 12/18/08. It seemed so long but so fast.

I hope none of this was to much sharing. I can’t over state how different everyone is. I really am sorry you’re having to go through this.

The best thing I did was talk to her before she got really really ill. We told each other we loved one another. I asked her questions I’d wanted to ask her. We cried about how unfair it was. I’m glad I didn’t put that off. As the disease spreads they become tired and more medicated these conversations can get difficult to have. The sooner the better.

Take care of yourself and your family. Love each other.

All the best,
ToniaK

Laker-

I am not sure what all to offer here. What I can say is that this terrible disease is not without pain, and it is swift. I had always been told that pancreatic cancer is fast, but bile duct can be extremely stealthy. My Mom was, at 61 years young, sick 41 days, before it took her from us and this earth.

She had jaundice, itching, high bilirubin, a stent put in, and lots of pain, all following an aborted gallbladder surgery when they found and subsequently spread the cancer. Her case was very advanced. I am sorry that none of this will comfort you, but I hope that it helps you prepare for the storm ahead.

Ask anything, anytime. Today was not a good day for me, but it strangely helps to help others going through this now, in my time of grief.

My best to you, your Mother, and your family. (((hugs))) -ljg

Laker,

I too want to welcome you to our site. I am glad that you found us but saddened that you have a need to be here. I am sorry that your Mom, you & your family are now on this journey with this monsterous cancer which we are all now so familiar with. I don’t think any of us had ever heard of it until it forced it’s way into our lives. I agree that you seem to be doing everything possibly for your Mom. She appears to be in good hands. Know that we are all here for you when you need us to ask questions, talk or just vent. If you have to be on this journey, you couldn’t have picked a better group to take it with you. I too will keep you & your family in my thoughts & prayers.

Darla

Hello Laker…I am sorry to hear about your Mom. This disease just loves to sneak up on people without any prior warning. Your Mom is tended to all levels something, to be so grateful for. This cancer differs much for people therefore, I don’t think there to be any one way to predict the progression. The staff surrounding your Mom will be quite capable of keeping your Mom comfortable. This is a precious time for you and your family. Also, you can be assured for support coming your way from the great members on this board.

I am sending to you my warmest wishes.
Marion