Hello, first time visit here

Dear Liz,
I was very sorry to read about your Mum. I wish you and your family well.
I was also sad to read on about other people who have expereinced recent deaths because of this cancer. I send my love to you all.

I have to agree that until you are going through this heartbreak it is hard for people to understand how awful it is.
I keep all of you on this site in my prayers as I have sat here many hours reading everything on this site, especially when I am not able to sleep. ( see ALAN in remembrance). I also agree about the healthy eating lifestyles. Here in england I have what is known as 3 allotments (big gardens) and have always, only done my own veg etc. Therefor this was such a shock to us . Alan first visited the doctors surgery on 16/12/05 with a pain slightly below his left shoulder in his back. He was told he had pulled a tendon. He was given pain killing tablets. During the xmas period he complained of some acid in his throat. I told him he probably had a gallstone. On the 6th Jan. 06 he revisited the docs as he had started to get pain badly around the upper right (front) gall bladder area. He was given Gaviscon. He continued to visit the doctors surgery with acid in his throat and pain that was so bad at nights he had to rock himself to ease it. He still managed to work during the day. I told him to visit our local hospital on the 12th Jan as an emergency patient at night. He was duly x-rayed and told he was constipated. He was angry as he had been to the toilet o.k. erlier that evening. In total he visited the doctors 6 times during January. This is someone who for the whole of his life had only ever had chicken pox and the mumps plus a few stitches on the odd occasion. I begged him to go and pay to see someone, his response was why should I pay to see the same people that I am visiting now. I told him to tell the doctor that his gall bladder had gone wrong and my husband who required another prescription also told her that alan was very very ill. The response was that she could not find anything seriously wrong with him.
Finally, I told him that I would call them if he did not go back to another hospital, and we, alan and I both visited the hospital as an emergency patient. That was on the 15th of February. Alan had managed to work up until the 6th of feb. After being really messed about and diagnosed with gall bladder problems and various other things we were told on the 1st of March 06 that it was almost certain that he had C.C. There were lots of tests done that I expect most of you know about and finally two attempts to put a metal stent in to drain the bile. All of this took until the 3rd week in march.Alan had been told he may have some chemotherapy for 6 weeks but if there was no change this would be stopped. It was discussed with alan that there would be a combination in the form of ECF. This was Epirubin, Cisplatin and 5FU. There would have been a Hickman line inserted and one drug seperately each week .i.e.3 weeks and one week free. It then became a bank holiday and alan wished to go to spain to see his beloved motorcycle racing with 3 of his friends. He was advised to go as it would not make any difference as the line would not be fitted that week. He was still going to the bank etc until the 14th April but losing weight so rapidly it was unbelievable. On our second visit to the oncology unit we were told that it would not be advisable for him to have the chemo. He was having difficulty eating or even keeping any food in his body. He was then offered palliative care. I felt so helpless as there really wasn’t anything that could help alan. He never once showed anger but only begged me not to let him lie at home for long. He did not wish to be messed about and at the end passed away so very peaceful in his sleep. I am now so pleased that both alan and I only knew for about 7 weeks that he was going to die. He did this with such great courage and dignity that we have now raised so far

Dan is in my prayers.

I don’t know if all of you have read Chris Peterson’s blog today but Dan has been given only a few days to a month. We need to keep Chris, Dan and their entire family in our prayers. The hurt and grief that they are going through is absolutely unbearable. It has been four weeks today since I lost Sam and I cannot get through an hour without crying. It is undescribable. Please ask God to send them strength to handle the days ahead. This site has been very comforting to me over the last year. I could use your prayers also.
Betty Johnson

You may have read on other posts that my husband refused chemo after his resection was aborted. He died a pain free death in May 06 six months after he was diagnosed. Like your mother he was very health conscious, ate well and exercised.
See my post In Rememberance section.

I think it is a very difficult call whether to have chemo or not. If you read the blogs they show that for the terrible downsides of chemo there are also periods of remission for some people, where they are able to take breaks and enjoy some quality of life. Young people are better able to withstand the chemo than older people and at 67 my husband didn’t feel that -healthy though he was, his body could cope.

I have concluded that with chemo I would try it and if the side effects became too severe just stop it. We were warned (not by the oncologist but by the nurse-liaison) that oxaliplatin has severe side effects and to decline it, whereas Gemsar is well tolerated. I think that my husband should have given it a chance while he moved to more holistic treatments.

I have a daughter Hannah who is 25, also very young to lose her dad. I will ask her to reply to your post as I have found that sharing helps.