My Dad
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Kris,
Thank You so much for your reassurance that Dad did what he believed was the right option for him.
As I was reading your post I had tears streaming down my face, thank you to be able to support me whilst fighting this disease yourself.
I have put pen to paper and intend to mail off my list of questions and concerns to the surgeon, then maybe just maybe I can move on….
Good Luck with your treatment, I shall keep checking in to follow your progress.
Katie
Katie,
Lainy is right, you cant question past decisions with this cancer. It is very aggressive, difficult to treat and there are no right answers. I know you feel cheated, and perhaps having surgery wasnt the right option…but surgery is the only known cure for this disease. Your dads surgeon was fighting hard for your dad and perhaps he overestimated his chances or underestimated the spread of the cancer. The truth is (and we have seen this so many times on this board) that the true extent and spread of this disease can only be determined once you are opened up. I am a great example. My bloodwork was fine, my scans were clean, but I had surgery on what they thought was scar tissue only to find a grapefruit size tumor in my stomach. Others have had surgery cancelled after being opened because of the spread.I understand you have questions and concerns and you are greiving as well. But please dont let the questions and pondering if you made the right choice weigh to heavily on your mind. We all make decisions based on the best information we have at a given time. Your dad, his doctor, and you all fall into this category.
This disease is evil. It lurks hidden. It is nasty and often too strong to fight. It has terrible statistics. Your father tried to fight this beast. He did not give up. He decided to have one of the biggest surgeries you can, because he loved life, his family and everything that entails. IT didnt work for him, but you hopefully can feel proud of his strength in his decision as well as his love for you.
Kris
Absolutely, you should e mail or call him. I still e mail Teddy’s surgeon twice a year to let him know how he is doing. He even mentioned it to friends of ours that just went to the same doctor. If something is bothering you, you need that closure to move on.
Don’t worry about your post sometimes its just not that easy for “newbies”. Wishing the best for you and hoping the doctor can answer your questions.Thank You Lainy for your lovely words. I have saved them to read when I feel so hopeless which at the moment feels like most of the time….
I wonder if anyone can help me with one thing? I have several questions I would like the surgeon to answer, do you think it would be in order to write or email him?
In England it is the norm for doctors to invite patient’s families back to discuss treatment/outcomes etc if the patient dies. Obviously I am not able to do that because of the distance so I thought I might get some closure if I put my concerns and issues on paper….
By the way I realise my post is in the wrong section, I wasn’t able to post on the introductions board for some reason. Please feel free to move it if you want
Hi Katie and we are so very sorry about your dad. Unfortunately the only thing we know for sure about this cancer is that we know nothing. You can’t go back now and keeping thinking about what might have been, it serves no purpose and your dad probably would not want you to do that. Your family is in our prayers.
You will grieve my loss, but I have not gone. My body is beyond your reach, but my soul is touching yours. I am the one who enters your dreams. Caresses your face Hugs you. Misses you. I have not left, my spirit is with yours. I am all around you when you call. I am the gentle breeze when there is no wind. I am in the photo on the wall when you blink in disbelief. I am the song that enters your head for no reason, yet it reminds you. Don’t grieve that I am gone. I am with you, beside you, in you. I will be forever.
Hi,
I have finally plucked up the courage to post on the board, after browsing and reading everyone’s wonderful supportive messages.
I live in England and lost my dad to cc 9 weeks ago today. Dad was diagnosed on May 4th and passed away on 28 June….
He had a Klatskin tumour that we were initailly told was inoperable. However, his doctor at Shands hospital in Gainesville then decided it was operable.
Dad had 2 stents put in and portal vein embolisation on 13th and 14th May, he had a lot of pain post-op but was told it was his liver re generating. On th 19th June he went to theatre for surgery. He was in surgery for 10 hours and the surgeon basically told us it was hopeless, he had half his liver removed and what was left still had the cancer in….. He didn’t stand a chance. He died 9 days later after going into renal failure and finally total organ failure. Dad never regained consciousness so we never got to say proper goodbyes.
I am so angry with everything, we were told the tumour was 1.7cm x 0.4cm when he had the embolisation and bile duct stent insertion. How come 5 weeks later it had spread so dramatically….
My Dad was so positive and went down for surgery so full of optimism. I feel cheated by this indidious cancer.
Sorry for the rant but need to get things in perspective before I can move on.
Good Luck to all who are undergoing treatment at this time.
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