Dad with CC – advice please
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- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 11 months ago by katieloumatt.
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January 27, 2010 at 6:06 pm #35134katieloumattMember
Jb,
Let me join the others with a big welcome to the board.
What a rollercoaster of emotions you have all endured these past few months, the worry of such major surgery, the follow up tests and starting chemo, plus now the uncertainty of rising CA 19 levels….
Your Dad is understandably worried and maybe feeling quite weary after everything he has endured thus far. It is hard to offer support and stay positive whe you are also worried sick.
Please come back here and update us, wishing you and your family strength as you face the journey ahead.
Katie
January 27, 2010 at 5:45 pm #35133gavinModeratorHi JB,
Welcome to the site, although I am sorry that you have to be here. And no apologies are ever needed from you for the length of your post. Please come back often and post and ask any and all questions as you will get a ton of support from all of us.
I was the carer for my dad during his fight with CC so I know what you mean when you talk about anger and fear etc. These are natural feelings to have. I know whar helped me enormously was coming here as it felt so good knowing that I was with others who knew what I was going through.
Both Kris and Marion offer some excellent advice and Kris is so right when she says that none of us know what is going to happen. Try not to think of what might happen and focus on the now. I know that it’s not easy sometimes, but please try and stay as positive as you can.
My best wishes to you and your family.
Gavin
January 27, 2010 at 4:56 pm #35132marionsModeratorJb…..a good place to start is to write to Dr. Giles, our very own professional phsychologist. You may find him under: patient support.
And, remember that your particular situation has been described by others on this board. Sometimes, a physician will prescribe something to calm the nerves of those affected by this disease. Personally, I believe that a diagnoses of CC brings with it much anxiety and this is the time to reach out for help. This site is especially supportive and provides a good place to put out your thoughts. Therefore, please continue to write and expect much response coming your way.
Best wishes,
MarionJanuary 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm #35131devoncatSpectatorYou never have to apologise for long posts here. We all have so much running through our heads, our worries, our questions. The good thing is that you have come to the right place for support and knowledge.
First let me say that I and my husband see a psychologist and that is one of the best decisions we have made. It really helps to have someone listen and explain your feelings. Your dad and you might want to think about this. Cancer affects the whole family.
Remind your dad that nobody knows what is going to happen. We have had people beat this, we have had people live with this for 5+ years. Who knows where one will fall.
Hugs.
KrisJanuary 27, 2010 at 12:08 pm #3134jb2689MemberHello,
In october last year my beloved Dad was diagnosed with resectable CC. They caught it early and he had an enormous and tricky op to remove the tumour along with most of his liver, with clear margins. The surgeons were thrilled with the result and all of his lymph tests, ct scans etc were clear. However, now that he has started his chemo his cc-19 seems to be steadily increasing so it looks as though there is another tumour although we don’t know for sure yet.
I’m unsure of how to reassure my parents about what happens next. My main concern is that my Dad seems incredibly negative about his treatment and convinced that he isn’t going to make it. This is very difficult for my Mum, and I am also worried that Dad’s attitude might affect both his chances of recovery and also his enjoyment of what might be the last few months/ years of his life. Is there anything I can say or do that might help? My father and I are extremely close and I feel so frustrated that there is so little I can do to make things easier for him and Mum.
I would also appreciate tips on how to manage my own emotions as this journey progresses. I am full of fear, anger, and sadness at the possibility that Dad might be leaving us. He has given me more than a lifetime’s worth of love and support, but I can’t imagine life without him or what my mother would do if he wasn’t around. Some of these feelings went away between the operation and the chemo and have now come back in force.
Sorry for such a long post.
x
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