Hope this helps others
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Lainy and Nancy:
I so admire you both and only hope that, when the time comes, I will be as resilient and strong as you are! Time will tell … I am thinking of you both.
CherylOh, yeah, I did agree with you on all as well. As for loosing my mind? That happened a long time ago! Now I just blame it all on “old age”.
Lainy – I’m with you on all those things. I didn’t mean to say anyone should ignore anniversaries or birthdays….I just don’t let them control my emotions and “control” me, if you get what I mean. I have a friend who lost her son (20 years ago) and she positively goes into a major depression for an entire week during the month he passed. I’m just not sure she is honoring his memory in that way. For me, that kind of thing just doesn’t work. Wishing you strength on Monday — how sad for your friend. We should never have to bury our children! I talk to myself all the time too! My daughter thinks I’m losing my mind, but I tell her you have to HAVE a mind to lose it
Good one Nancy. Know what I am going to do? I have a BFF who lost her 42 year old son-in-law Monday. The Service is this Monday morning at the same place Teddy was cremated. All my friends are insisting I don’t go. I said Teddy would have gone if the roles were reversed. This is a close friend who lost a ‘child’ how can I not go. #1 Teddy is no longer there. #2 It is a building with 4 walls, that is all. I can do this because I have to do it, I am living and I have to do living things. I reason things out then I try my best to do the right thing. Don’t know yet how I will handle our Anniversary and his Birthday. Somehow I think those are celebrations not to be denied or ignored. Hopefully guys I don’t have to eat my words. But I do talk to myself and urge myself onward.
I was watching a re-run of an Oprah show today (I think it aired about a month ago) and there was something in it that touched me. Nate (if you watch Oprah, you know Nate) mentioned how he lost his partner in the tsunami five years ago and how he has coped since that time. One thing he said that he does is that he doesn’t allow “dates” to have any power over him. He clarified this by saying he refuses to allow the dates of his partner’s birth, day of death, etc. have control over his feelings. Instead, he allows all the power to be in remembering the life of his lost one and honoring him in that way. I related so much to this because I try to do the same thing. I refuse to “give in” to my emotions on certain days. Instead, I try to honor my son every day, but particularly on his birthday. Although it is sometimes hard, I have found it makes things so much more bearable. Just thought I’d share……..Nancy
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