Anyone single and dating???
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Kris you remind me of my daughter who will be 50 in July. She raised 4 kids all on her own and they are brainiacs (think they may have been adopted) and they are GOOD kids. One is finishing her 2nd year at NAU (Northern U AZ) in Flagstaff and is on scholarships, the 18 year old is graduating this month from a College Prep Academy and got a scholarship for Penn State but turned it down as he decided on U of A in Tucson for first year on a full ride! Then he gets a letter from Penn and they upped the ante. But he will stay closer for now. I guess I digressed for a bit here so I could brag. Anyway Robin has been in a ‘relationship’ for 12 years now. He has never been married and will not and he lives in his own world. I think she is on the verge of breaking up for the unteenth time. This is the guy with Lymphoma and Robin has totally taken care of him. She is not a bare sitter or stuff like that but she just runs in to men. Just got her Real Estate License and met someone. Yikes! He is 13 years older and treats her like a Queen. Took her to dinner the other night before he left for Chicago for the summer and greeted her with peach roses. Point I am trying to make is you girls deserve to be treated right or let it go. It happens when you least expect it and are not pushing it. Stop worrying about telling people about your CC. I can tell anyone would be lucky to have you and when in love one takes the good with the bad. I can always write you a letter of recommendation!
I’d love it Lainy!!
I’ve been alone many times. Once for 3 years in my 20s. By choice. And then for a while after my ex husband and I split. That was only about 8 months or so, but it was a couple of years ago. Then I met the boy. Then I was diagnosed. At this point in my life I don’t WANT to be alone. But I will no longer settle. I did that, and hated myself for it.
Maybe I need to be a greeter at Walmart?? haha Oh, wait, did I say I wanted a self-sufficient man??? Maybe not! I’ve hinted around with a couple of my friends. But no takers so far. They know about the cancer, so who would want to introduce me to a family member or friend so they can get upset about the “secret”?
Hey, at least my pillow is comfortable.Hi Kris, OK here it comes! I have been on a dating site called SeniorPeople Meet. Not to bad, not great, but better than others I have scouted out. So far I have not met anyone but one and that was short lived for 2 weeks. I mean it’s very hard to go out with Ulcerated Colitis and leave the room every few minutes! Actually what I have going for me is that the men I would want to meet are in their 70’s so we kind of all have the same problems! What I would suggest though is first meet someone and then you will know when the time is right to say something. There are also networking groups on line who have meetings and dinners. Maybe you and I should go to work in a high type men’s clothing store. I must say though that when I met Teddy I had been single for 8 years. Got fed up with the dating game and for 3 months kind of pulled back. That gave me time to get comfortable with myself and I decided my company was better than the men I was meeting. WALLA! That is when I met Teddy. You have to be comfortable with yourself first. Also any networking group of women as women have brothers, fathers and friends. Wish I could send you a nice man all wrapped up in a blue bow!
Yeah. I wouldn’t give him important information until we met. His pic was cute tho. Wonder who that was???
And he couldn’t get money to pay the hospital when his poor daughter broke her tibia. Bad break. In a huge contraption. So I must feel sorry for him… Can’t get money until Monday. Can I help?? I hadn’t told him I have cancer. I guess I should have countered with “well, no, my cancer treatments have left me destitute!”
What was so funny was that he said he was going away and as soon as he told me he was in Africa installing computers, I almost wrote, “well, I guess you’ll be asking me for money soon, then”. I did say since he was in Africa I wanted to make sure he wasn’t a scammer. But he kept coming… Poor women. Some probably believe the “poor guy”.Well that was fun. NOT! Short lived. I don’t need to worry about scammers on top of everything else!! UGH! Guy’s “daughter” just got really hurt while she was with him for a job in Africa. He just needed enough money to get her out of the hospital. I guess I’m glad I didn’t give him my last name or phone number!! He wanted the phone # but I said we’d talk after he got back from his trip. Guess not….
I’ll feel bad if it’s thr truth, but I was joking with a friend that pretty soon he’d be asking me for money. Hhmmmmm…..
More venting needed!!!I say go for what makes you happy. When the time is right, you will know when to tell the person you are dating about your cancer. If they are worth it, they will stick by you. I hope you find someone to comfort and take care of you. You deserve a great guy.
Love, -Pam
Wish I had the answer Kris, but I don’t. I have been married to the same guy for almost 38 years. Good luck!
Cindy
Here’s a toughie. My ex boyfriend and I broke up in March. While I know stress is not good for me, I am trying to figure out how not to be alone. This whole being alone thing scares the heck out of me right now. I live alone in a house. Most of my friends are at least 5 miles away. I AM friendly with my next door neighbor, but she has her own troubles.
Anyway, I want to start dating. If I have my surgery next month that will mess up the “dating” thing but I’ll work around it.
What I’m looking for mostly is someone who will be there to support me. Right now I’m healthy. I look healthy (except for the scars) and for the most part I am healthy. But I have this resection looming in my future. And I know my parents will be here for me, but it’s not the same. What I want most in my life is someone who will put his arms around me and say “It’s okay sweetheart. I’m here and everything’s gonna be all right.”
Anyway, I’m doing this badly. I’m trying to explain where my head is right now. My question is for anyone who has gone thru this and is single: at what point in the relationship do you tell the other person? Obviously it’s before THAT!!! My question arises because I don’t know these potential dates, so it’s none of their business YET. But before it gets too involved, I have to say something. And just how do you tell someone you want to get to know better that you have this f*!king disease trying to screw up your life?
I’m a very honest and open person. BUT if I tell them on the first date, if I was the guy I’d hightail it outta that place as fast as I could. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I know myself: if I heard my story on a first date, I would feel awful, but would definitely think twice about seeing him again. I try to put myself in his shoes, but I can’t. Where is that line between “none of your business” and “you betrayed my trust”???
Anyone care to chime in? I’d really appreciate it.
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