My word has shattered at my feet

Dear Kristie,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. I know how it feels like all of us do in here. My mother was all I had and I was very close to her. This monster of a disease took her away in 8 weeks. I was and still am devastated. The one year anniversary of her passing is on November 29th, the day after Thanksgiving. It will be a very sad day but I will make her stuffing for the turkey because she knew I loved to use her recipe every Thanksgiving.

I went to a Grief support group and I’m on anti-depressants etc. to help me get through this painful tragedy. It has helped me very much otherwise I was ready to leave this world just to join her.

I wish you comfort and peace. Remember, your mother’s spirit will always be with you and she’s watching you too.

I have to go to France in January to her studio and ship back her belongings which will be so hard on me but I have to do it as I’m the only child and want to have her paintings and belongings.

I know that when my time comes to leave this world, my mother will be waiting for me and I’ll be with her eternally, so that gives me hope.

Feel free to email me if you need to share at orlysud@aol.com.

Desiree

Kirstie;

I am so sorry that your Mom has passed at such a young age. This is very difficult. Did they do surgery for the gallstones? Did they see anything on the scans when she was being treated for gallstones? One can make no sense out of this. My heart goes out to you. I share your grief. I miss my Mom who also passed from this illness. I spent so much time with her as she lived within walking distance. After one year of her death, I still think of her many, many times each and every day. You will do the same. We have to help each other. She will watch over you.

Oh Kirstie, I am so saddened to hear about your dear Mum. It must be so difficult for you to even begin to come to grips with all of this. My hearfelt sympathies to you and I hope one day your pain will be replaced with happy memories.

Love,
-Pam

Kirstie, tyiing out is very cathartic! Really helps, and we do understand that, its all OK. When Teddy was first diagnosed he was “extremely” Jaundice. I said, “Honey, you know I have never liked you in yellow”. Kirstie, I was at my husbands side through a horriffic end. I hardly ever think about that anymore. Instead I think about the very last breath and how beautiful he looked. Not one wrinkle (he was 78) not his usual bags under his eyes, he looked as if he was in a golden glow and beautiful. And that is how I remember him.
It took time. Our “new normal” doesn’t come without work. We have to help ourselves heal, but for you, again give yourself time and be kind to yourself.

Dearest Kirstie, I know you don’t believe this yet, but it really has not been very long at all. Please know that in time, we have no time frames, but in time, all your wonderful Memories of your Mum will overtake you and you will be able to then feel her all around you. I know, as it happened to me with my husband. As I say all the time, Mums never really leave their children and you know that in time she will want you to find your happiness.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain,
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die. By Mary Elizabeth Frye