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Krish, I am so sorry to read this. I pray for strength and love for you and yours. Take some comfort in the thoughts that he is now pain and cancer free.
Krish,
I am so very sorry to hear about your Dad. I too was with my mother when she died of Lung cancer and it is difficult to get those images out of your head, but I can tell you from my own experience that with time, those images will be replaced with happy memories.
-Randi-
Dear Krish,
I am so sorry to read that your dad has died. Your father will have known you were right beside him until the end. I sat with my sister when she passed in March and it was a very difficult passing to watch. I promise you that with time, the memory of those last few hours will fade a little.
Your mum and sister are both also in my thoughts.
Dear Krish,
I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your dear dad. Having also lost my dad to this cancer I can so feel your pain right now. I know that the journey you have been on with your dad was very tough, but I also know how much your dad would have appreciated you being there with him by his side throughout it all. We are here for you.
Please accept my sincere condolences and know that my thoughts are with you and your family right now.
Gavin
Dear Krish, I am so very sorry your family had to take this Journey but I know your Dad is now at Peace and in a good place. It is too soon yet but in time all of your good memories will take over the bad ones. I am sure your Dad is so very proud of you.
From your Dad to your family:
I’M STILL HERE
I’m at your side each night and day,
In your heart is where I’ll stay.
You can feel, see or hear, I am not gone, I’m always near.
I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes round,
The pure white snow that blankets ground.
I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in Spring.
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
And you’ll see that the face in the moon is mine.
I’ll whisper your name through the leaves on the trees,
And you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I’m the salty tears that flow when you weep,
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face.
Just look for me, I’m every place!Very sorry to say my Dad passed away on 23rd Aug. Last two days was erratic, was gaining conscious on and off pain was becoming more during the end stage though he was on morphine. Tried increasing the dosage. but this pain seemed to be different. Pulse and BP dropped and last one hour breathing become shallow and took the final breath. Last night was horrible to handle for me, my sister and mother. We will never forget that night.
I am still trying digest the fact. But i am only getting thoughts of the last night 12 hrs.
Thank you all for the guidance. Your valuable inputs helped me a lot. It has been a tough journey for the past 15 months but nothing tough than what my Dad went through. I feel now he is relieved of the pain permanently.
Dad we miss you. R.I.P
Krish….I too am thrilled to hear that your Dad is comfortable. Yeah to Sheilla for leading you in the right direction. Unfortunately your comments re: palliative care in your country and the lack thereof rings so true. I have spoken with numerous physicians, all of who are deeply concerned about this issue. Although pain meds are readily available, people however are reluctant to either store these drugs within their homes or, there is an overall consensus not to use these drugs. I am so glad that you have been able to bridge this problem by connecting with the right people. I hope that others in your country follow your posting, as it may just set precedence for dealing with the issue of pain control for their loved ones. Your Dad is surrounded by a loving family making excellent decisions on his behalf.
Hugs,
MarionDear Krish, this is the best news, a good thing to wake up to today. What a relief to have found this comfort care! Hospice here is so prevalent there are so many to choose from. Teddy was on Morphine the whole way through and it worked well for him. I am sure you are extremely relieved. Please let us know how Dad gets along and thanks for this good news.
Finally, found a dedicated comfort care clinic who does hospice services. Took dad to them admitted for two days and they brought the pain under control. Duragesic was removed. Shellina, yes you were right, his muscle mass was very less in the arms. Now he takes tab.Morphine 20 mg twice a day along with half tab triptomer and pregbalin for nerve pain.
Though he is mostly sleeping, not complaining of pain.
It is very sad that the the link between Cancer institute and comfort care does not exist, even if it does awareness is not there. There are only few people who do this here. Out of them mostly they would treat only at their premises. But, i could also get another organization who could support us at home. They are supposed to come today and they will take over. Hopefully, it happens as planned.
Thank you very much for all your comments. It helped me a lot. Now i am little bit relieved (not in the literal sense), that his pain will be controlled.
Dear Krish,
Having been where you are right now with my own dad a few years ago I can tell you that you are so doing a great job in fighting and caring for your dad and I know how much that will mean to him. I so agree with the others that pain control and comfort are of the utmost importance now and I hope that you will be able to do both for your dad. As Marion has said, hospice should be able to do this as that is what they do.
My dad was in hospice care and they took such good care of my dad. Many of my dads oral meds were stopped late in hospice and he was put on the syringe driver so that he could get his meds constantly over a 24 hour cycle. Through that, he was receiving pain meds, anxiety meds and anti nausea meds also and that worked very well for my dad. Along side that he was getting pain injections as and when he wanted them and that too worked well for him. My dad never had the pain patch that others have done and he slipped into a coma.
I know that this is such a tough time for you Krish, please know as well that we are all here for you and will help as much as we can.
My best to you and your dad,
Gavin
Krish….I too agree with what the others have mentioned. The way I look at it and the way I approached it with my husband is that more than anything he needs be as pain free as possible and not suffer. As had been mentioned by his physician, overdoses of pain meds’ can cause the patient to fall into a coma. It is a fine line of controlling pain (and nausea, if applicable) and simultaneously keeping the patient coherent. However; I strongly believe that most emphasis has to be focused on the comfort of the patient. Hospice personnel should be able to work with you on this. This is what they do however; not all of their chapters handle these situations equally as well. Hence, I would reach out to your local Hospices (if there is more than one) and address the issue directly with their staff.
Please stay in touch. My heart is with you.
Hugs,
MarionShelley, good point to bring up, I totally forgot about the patch and weight! Excellent point! Thanks for the reminder.
Krish, my husband is end stage CC and he is on 150 mcg of Duragesic patch in addition to Dilaudid every 4 hours. Does your dad say if he is in pain? Another thing to consider is that the patient needs some meat on their bones for the patch to work. Many patients go off the patch at the end because they have lost too much weight.
Hi Krishna,
A coma will happen with or without morphine. What morphine will do is make him comfortable and pain free although yes it may make him more sleepy as it can be a side effect of morphine. If his pain is increasing though then he needs his pain medication increasing. It can be given in different ways such as tablet, injection, patch or through a pump. Have you been able to find any hospice help?
You are being very brave.
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