Using the forum and family members

Hi Kris,
I am the caregiver and my husband Joe has never been on this sight. He thinks it will depress him. I share some stories with him andsince we have a blog, I follow the blogs and tell him how those people are doing. I always mention Jeff as a long time survivor even tho he wa able to have surgery and Joe wasn’t. I need this site for info, support and to see how oehters are handling the situation. I am a nurse so maybe that helps me not get depressed about what i read. I see strength of spirit in cc patients and I know that we have changed our attitudes about how we live life becasue of this disease. We try to not waste time, or energy on unimportant worries, we try to see the good in people around us and enjoy the time we have. I need this website and thank the people who started it. I also appreciate the people who still come here even tho they hae lost their loved ones. mary anne

I concur with what all of you have said.
My wife, family and some friends know the link but I think few even glance at it. I have some family, and friends, who are able to be present with the fear, uncertainty and details and simply accept that it is part of my, and their, reality. For most however it’s easier not to look to closely, to each his own and I feel the same love and concern from them all.
I do talk about some people here, the changes and the losses, but only to the people who are able to hear it.

I’m thankful everyday for this community and both the support it has given me and the comfort I feel here in simply being able to be myself as a person with this disease. As I’ve said in other ways there are silver linings in crisis and I am fortunate to have had the time to find and know the gifts that have come to me as a result of the cancer.
-Peter

Hi Kris-Dave doesn’t come on this site. I share with him some stories, but for the most part he only wants good news. I have to let him deal with this in whatever way is best for him. I keep coming as I find it supportive and try to believe I support others and that someday we will find a cure together.
Patrice

hi kris

whenever I used the site I was always very careful to appear strong and in control, I was very aware that my Dad would not have been able to cope with seeing/reading that I was upset. Predominately I used the site for research purposes, since my Dad has died I have still felt drawn to the site for support (and been far more open) – however more recently I have been put off from doing this (this is a side issue).

Getting back to your question, I would say that I totally understand that you need somewhere you can vent, I did often wonder if my Dad felt curtailed in that respect by me being on here too. It’s a difficult situation and I suppose it depends alot on individual relationships however I would imagine that most people in this situation ‘hold back’ to a degree. Are there any cancer support groups/carers groups locally that Hans would be willing to try? I know that it is not easy with men and emotions, my Dad kept everything in and I remember wondering how on earth he coped with it, he was so brave although I often wished he had an outlet.

I hope that this has helped give you an insight into the problem, take care, Jules