Husbands scan results
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Lainy, I believe I am ready. I want to be as prepared as possible. Plus with the way his nights are with his pacing and pains it makes me worry.
Thank You
MicheleMichele if you reach a point where you feel you want the list just let me know. I prefer to e mail them since it is so sensitive.
Michele –
I understand your husband’s feelings and yours too. Now is the time to just enjoy each for what it it. He may or may not have a lot of time but really the only person that knows that is God.
I would suggest Hospice their goal is not to help him die which is what a lot of people worry about but their goal is to give him and you quality of life. They will also support not only him the entire time but also you and the rest of the family. And there is support that you would not imagine for all of you.
Hospice and a lot of ONC would prefer that the hospice people get on board a little sooner rather than later so they can do more for you.
Hang in there.KrisV
Lainy, no i dont recall you sending me the list. Of course I’m pretty forgetful these days though. Lack of sleep myself.
MicheleMichele. not at all. Some people start Hospice a year out we don’t know when anyone’s time is coming. Dec 6 is Teddy’s 3rd anniversary. Anyone who is has the pain he does should definitely be on Hospice. He will come to really like them. They usually just start at once a week depending. They not only will keep him pain free they will be a huge help to you. I put the hospital bed in the living room which was the brightest room with the big TV and he was so comfortable as were visitors. Then as you go along they will bring anything he may need from a commode to a wheelchair to Oxygen. Don’t push him but tell him that the bed may help with pain and that Hospice is not just for him but it is for all of you. I can’t remember but I think I had already sent you the 10 signs the end is near. If not do want one of the lists. Teddy followed it pretty close. Please remember I am right beside you in spirit, you are not going through this alone.
Lainy, his ONC told me the other day when I spoke with her on the phone that if he done with treatment then on his next visit which is December 6 that she would set up hospice. My hubby is against it. I have told him how much help they would be. Hopefully by his appointment he thinks it through.
I wonder if because she wants to set it up does it mean he dont have much time left?
Thank you LainyDearest Michele, I am so very sorry and I do know what you are going through now but honestly the best thing you both can do is keep talking. Teddy had made the same decision and we never regretted it. I do hope you can get him to start taking Meds for pain as it will be harder to control later. When I called in Hospice they started pain meds immediately. Your hubby has reached his decision, he is at peace with it and now his work begins letting you know what needs to be done and wants to guide you and make sure you both have talked everything over and over. Believe me, one cannot tell you this will not hurt your heart but he has opened the door now and let you come in. Is the ONC going to call Hospice? That does not mean it will happen right away but I am thinking if he had a hospital bed at home with the hanging bars it may help him in getting up and down. If you want to discuss anything you can email me through this web site. One last thing for now is you need to be very strong. When they start to make their decisions it is really hard for them to watch you crying. I used to get in the car and take a 20 minute ride singing so loud until my throat hurt, then the tears and when I got home I was fine. I WISH I COULD WAVE A MAGIC WAND AND SAY BE GONE YOU MONSTER cc. I am sending you tight hugs and always here to listen to you.
Well not sure where to start….
Friday we got the results from my husbands pet scan and ct scan. Like we thought the chemo quit working. He had 2 spots they he had on the right side of the liver that now lite up. They are 4cc big. The main tumor is now 7cc that is more on the left side. The lymph node up by the neck, liver and chest got even bigger plus had a few more light up for cancer.
The ONC told us he is unable to eat much because the liver is being pushed into the stomach which is causing restriction so when he eats half a sandwich he is extremely full. He lost another 5 pounds in 2 weeks.
He’s been experiencing more pain which causes him a lot of restless nights. They give him pain meds but he doesn’t always take them. He sleeps a lot with his legs so they are straight up on the back of the couch. He says it helps releave some of the pain.
The ONC suggested another type of chemo that they are experiencing with called terveca (i think i spelled it wrong). But he refused it. The ONC said if it worked it would extend his life a few extra months. He said hes done. He sick of being on chemo and running him down and making him feel like crap. I listened to all his reasons why he said hes ready to let things run their course and that he’s just plain and simply tired of it all. He’s tired of being miserable. He asked me if I understood and would stand behind him with his decision. I told him yes i know that it is soo hard on him. He was never a man to just set around and I have seen in the last few months that he’s not happy and not himself.
That was the hardest thing so far listening to him. It’s the first time he has opened up about how he felt and actually how miserable he is. The last few nights have been so rough. Reality has really hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew inside that he was sick but never excepted the fact that I was going to lose him.
He told me last night that he was going to teach me how to plow when we get our first snow storm because he said hes sure he won’t be up to it. Then also went on how he thinks by spring he will be gone. I cant except that. There’s no way! Then I wonder how much of what he’s feeling is he hiding from me. He’s really good at it and putting up a good front in front of others.
Ours kids have had a rough couple of days. So glad they have a principal that is soo understanding and told me just to let the kids stay home friday from school because they were so worked up about the results coming in. Glad they only had two days of school this week.
Well I think I have rambled on long enough.
Michele
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