World Cancer Day 2014: Debunk the Myths
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Oh my absolute favorite is – “God doesn’t give you more that you can handle, so you will be fine.” Really, cause I think He messed up….I can’t handle this.
And then everyone has to share their horror story….like you said “My mom, My uncle or whoever had it and then proceeded to tell you how awful their journey was. I really want the positive. Like childbirth horror stories only someone dies at the end.
“All you have to do to beat it is”…..and then it’s whatever thing Dr. Oz mentioned on his last show. I’ve heard cinnamon, aloe vera juice, Goji berries, and some other things that make me cringe.
I get that people sometimes don’t know what to say and get nervous so say the first thing that pops out but some of these were from people who know better. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I have to say that the one that handles it the best is my son who had the thyroid cancer. He has a huge incision that runs across the base of his neck that truly looks like someone tried to cut his head off. Every time some asks a “Dumb” question he gives them a totally off the wall answer….totally unbelievable answer….like he got it fighting in Iraq or a bar fight in Barbados or my personal favorite was he pissed his mom off. People’s jaws drop and they aren’t really sure he is joking or not. He’s a good sport.
KrisV
My husband was the most kind and caring individual. He practiced family and was a psychologist hence, he had a great understanding for comments made by clients and colleagues. In fact, he wanted to comfort those reacting to the diagnoses of his cancer.
Here are a few comments made to him:
I just know that you can beat this (at end stage disease)
Everything happens for a reason
You’re only given what you can handle
Think positive
Do you think that you should have declined chemotherapy treatments?
My uncle, mother, etc. had cancer and then died
You need to rid yourself of all negative energy
Do you have the good kind of cancer?And, there were more, but I tried to put those out of my mind.
Do others have some things to add?
Hugs,
MarionOh 100% tired of people jumping to conclusions. I am really amazed at what people will say. I understand that sometimes it’s hard to know what to say but I have had people ask how long he has to live and tell me I in denial about his drinking among some of the better ones I have heard.
My favorite is people (those that know I am dealing with Mark’s cancer and my son’s cancer at the same time) who ask me how I am doing or how can I stay so strong. I know they mean well but how do you really think I am doing….really. It’s terrible, I am stressed and I don’t sleep. I stay strong because I don’t have a choice. I have to put one foot in front of the other.
I am going to write a book. “Things never to say to people battling health issues.” Humorous but true.
Trying to keep laughing, KrisV
Thanks for posting that link Gavin. So true.
Ladies, All I can add to this thread is that I totally agree with everything that has been said. People who have not been affected by this disease just don’t have a clue. Kris, good for you on setting her straight. I think with what you are all dealing with, you have the right to let loose now and then.
Love To All,
DarlaOh Marion, I agree. Most people I talk to go – “Oh liver cancer. Guess he drank too much.” Makes my head explode when I hear that. I educate them….nicely most of the time. It’s so hard to get people to understand where and what it is. Part of me wants to start carrying a diagram so I can show them.
It just frustrates me when people paint everyone with the same brush. Cancers are so different and this is more like the orphan diseases that are out there. Affect just enough people to be frustrating but not enough to make the drug companies sit up and notice. It takes special people – like our oncologist – that are willing to take tried and true chemos and treatments and apply them differently or to look for something totally new.
We can just keep hoping and praying.
KrisV
Of course, I think I got so peeved because his ex-wife just irritates me anyway.
Oh, how I understand your gripe, Kris. No one should have cancer in the first place, but at this time this is an impossible dream. Cancer patients suffer greatly all across the board and no one wishes that upon any person. However; the reality is that we simply don’t get the attention nor do we have the therapies available as those available to other cancer patients. We witness increased research, but it is not nearly enough to make a dent in what we should be able to see. We are lagging in recognition of CC beginning with the GP and the GI physicians as well as the majority of clinical oncologists. Granted, many physicians never encounter a CC patient throughout their entire careers however; they should be educated nevertheless.
As you know, I work within the NCI clinical trial setting. Here I encounter similar resistance to recognizing that our patients must live long enough to even be considered for a clinical trial. The rulings for approval of research studies must change, but it is an upward and frustrating battle.
Oh, I better get off my soap box, as I could go on and on.
Hugs,
MarionThose are so true and I think another one that is there too, is that all cancers are the same. My husband’s ex-wife had colon cancer and is in remission now for 3 years. She compared her cancer to Mark’s and acted like it was no big deal. I did set her right…..it was my day to upset people
KrisV
World Cancer Day 2014: Debunk the Myths.
http://connection.asco.org/Commentary/Article/ID/3774/World-Cancer-Day-2014-Debunk-the-Myths.aspx
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