August 27, 2009 at 11:14 am #29816
I am so sorry to hear that you are now facing the loss of your husband so soon after losing Alan. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your husband. Know that we are all here for you when you need comfort & support.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaAugust 27, 2009 at 9:25 am #29815marionsModerator
Hello Alan’s Mom…..Many times, when opening the web site, Alan’s picture appears and I think of you. Teresa, I am so sorry to hear that yet another loss is coming your way. I am wishing for strenth and peace for you and your husband of 50 years, and I am sending all my love. Please, remember us and please, reach out to this great community for support and comfort. My heart is with you.
MarionAugust 27, 2009 at 1:07 am #29824teresaMember
Hya all I look in on you all almost everyday and read about all of you my dear friends.
I know how you all feel as I lost my son Alan (SMITH) in 2006 and I thought the pain would never end. It hasn’t, but the edge has blurred and I became stunted in someway. The tears still flow so unexpected but I have realised he couldnt have lived on with his body how it was. He was such an active young man and would have hated being not able to do what he had been doing.
Now I am going through the process again (albeit not with cc).
We had been married 50 years, 27th july and my hubby is coming to the end of 56 years with insulin 2 times daily.
This is so hard to do again in such a short time, I hav’nt had time to grieve for alan properly as we have been to hospital constantly for the last 2 years.
My heart is breaking yet again I dont know if I can cope with this so soon
love and light to you all Alans momAugust 23, 2009 at 8:22 am #29823barbParticipant
hi patty, i’m glad you got a kick out of my comments about my “match making” and the “flaws” that husband needs to work on. judy (the volunteer) is truly an amazing person.
for everyone who has suffered the tremendous loss of a beloved spouse, i offer my heartfelt sympathy. i hear your pain through your words……… the greater the love, the greater the loss… i hope that somehow, someway, your pain lessens as time passes.
with the greatest respect
barb hAugust 7, 2009 at 4:49 am #29822magicParticipant
My husband and I were together for 30years and I am 52,I have my 3 sons at home so I am not actually lonely and Im quite time poor but I really miss the company and conversation of a man in my own age group yet at the same time I cant imagine another relationship.Male friends have been helpful and kind and my sons friends have been wonderful but the gap left is HUGE.
Darla is so right when she says we can get through this together.Its the only way love from JanetAugust 7, 2009 at 1:36 am #29821
I know just how you feel. I am the same age as you and it will be one year for me next month. We were togther 45 years and married almost 42. I just can’t see myself every being with anyone but Jim. I miss him more every day. Some days it feels like it all just happened and other days it seems like I have been alone for so long. It is a sad & lonely life. I do try to keep busy, but that doesn’t always work. He is always on my mind.
I am thinking of you & all the others here who have lost their loved ones to this horrible disease. We all know what it is like and how it feels. I think that the strength & support we can give to each other is invaluable. Together we can get through this one day at a time.
With Love & Hugs,
DarlaAugust 7, 2009 at 12:43 am #29820
Kris–you are the strongest person that I’ve ever talked to. Tom would always say–“you’re the love of my life, but I can’t talk about it-“-I love and respect you and am thinking of you. MarilynAugust 7, 2009 at 12:20 am #29819
Barbara, I read your your message– Mu daughter is 38– with 3 children –she lives out of town–about an hour an 1/2 away–she worries constantly–she was so, so close to her dad–I know what you’re going through–take care of yourself–we’ll make it–love, MarilynAugust 7, 2009 at 12:12 am #29818
Yes, it’s been 11/2 yrs.–I miss Tom like it was yesterday–I truly feel like I will never ever meet someone like him-he was the love of my life–I treasure our 39 yrs. together. I’m just lonely for compansionship. Thinking of you all, MarilynAugust 6, 2009 at 5:00 am #29817tiapattyMember
You are hilarious! I can’t believe you are matchmaking for your own husband and trying to make him a better man for another woman! You are priceless!
PattyAugust 4, 2009 at 1:11 am #29808barbParticipant
i’m so much older than you (i’m 66…wow!), but feel as you do. i actually talked with a wonderful widowed (her husband died from cancer ) volunteer who has a lot in common with my husband and me. she hikes, bikes, etc. and i found out that she has grown a bit lonely since her husband passed away. she’s such a wonderful human being and i told her (i thought i was going to die soon a couple of years ago) that my husband was a really good guy and perhaps they might consider seeing each other after my departure.
so many people howled at my suggestion, but this volunteer was touched deeply that i felt that way, and did not say “no.”
since then, i’ve told my husband that he’s going to have to “clean up his act” a bit as this volunteer is soooooooooo nice and my husband can be a bit trying at times… a bit cranky… a bit spoiled. however, i do hope that when my time comes that my husband and this wonderful volunteer would at least give a relationship a chance.
now back to my cave….. too much drama here with my grown daughters and and my poor grandson who is bipolar.
barb hAugust 3, 2009 at 8:06 pm #29809BazelParticipant
I am, yet again, in awe of your strength and grace as you face this disease. To face the challenges this disease brings yet show the compassion you have for those who have lost a loved one is a testament to the woman you are.
I think it takes great courage to think about the concerns and fears you have for your Hans and even greater courage to share it with the cc family.
BzJuly 31, 2009 at 12:43 pm #29810roma35Member
I think of all of you in your situation. I loved my dad dearly, and losing him was?is devestating for me, but as much as I feel my pain for myself, I feel such pain for my mom. My dad was the love of her life for 47 years, and while I am so proud of how strong she is being, I cant imagine the sorrow she feels. While we try to keep her busy and kids and grandkids are always around her(we all live within a block) we are all busy with our lives because as you all know, life goes on- work, schedules, kids etc…but for my mom, this is her golden years, she was supposed to be able to relax and enjoy life with my dad. I drove by her house last night around 10 oclock and the house was completely dark except for her bedroom light, maybe she was watching the news or reading…..alone. It broke my heart. I do think of all of you who have lost spouses, and Im so sorry for the loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Peace and Prayer
BarbaraJuly 31, 2009 at 10:54 am #29813
I too feel like you and Janet. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Jim & our life together. I too just want that back. Seeing so many happy older couples spending there “golden years” together is sad & painful. I am thinking of you & all the others that have lost loved ones to this horrible disease and hope for better days ahead for all of us.
DarlaJuly 31, 2009 at 10:47 am #29812jcleggMember
All of us who have lost our husbands look around and see happy couples everywhere, and we wonder why that couldn’t have been us – I came out of the grocery store the other day and there were two older couples just standing there talking, and it made me tear up! So we understand what you are saying – we don’t know how long this will go on – it has been almost 10 months for me. We have just lost so much – it will take a long time, I am sure.
Kris, that was so kind of you to write Marilyn and tell her that. It makes ME feel better to read what you have said – comnforted a bit. I have always said that Butch wanted me to be happy – he told me so, in fact, however, seeing it in writing from you helps me to accept it.
Love – Joyce C.
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