March 26, 2015 at 6:15 am #87310lainyMember
Dear Balwas, I am so very sorry to hear all this. It IS ultimately her decision. It is the toughest decision one ever has to make. When my husband was told he had 5-6 months after 5 years of treatment he spent a few days really thinking about palliative chemo and decided no, he was 78. We spent a wonderful 5 months and he really got his house in order, saw the kids and did it his way. He called it our honeymoon.
I don’t know if you and your wife have talked openly about it all but what ever she decides comfort is of the utmost importance. There are meds for everything today and especially the nausea. Have you discussed Hospice at all? They are really helpful, will keep her comfortable and give you the time to just be together.
I am curious if you ever got a second opinion.
It really helps to talk about everything as the more things are talked about the less frightening it is. As the time get closer, if you wish, I have a list of the 10 signs the end is near. Teddy followed it pretty closely. If you just email me from the forum I will send it to you. I would say I started to see signs about 3 weeks out. Please keep in mind comfort is the top priority and perhaps it might be good to talk to a social worker from the hospital or a clergy. This is tough but attitude and strength will really help. If you click on my name to the left, Lainy, it will take you to the email. I will be thinking of you both.March 26, 2015 at 5:48 am #87309
The onc today says we can try Gem only, as my wife is too fragile for anything else. At best they say we might get two more months. He says she is borderline for this treatment and there is a 10% chance of death from the chemo. I am inclined to maximize quality and comfort but my frail wife appears to want to try the chemo. I just doing know how we can make these types of decisions. I wish that the onc would have said yes or no. But, I know we are beyond wishes. My wife is 53, 117 pounds, and she has stopped losing weight now that she is in hospital. She is nauseas and can’t walk very far. I just can’t see her making it through chemo.March 20, 2015 at 4:43 pm #87308mbachiniModerator
I can’t really help with your decision but feel they are both great choices. I went to Mayo in Rochester about 5 years ago for a second opinion myself when metastasis to my lungs showed up 3 months after my resection. At the time they suggested the Gem/Cis chemo regimen for me, which was the same as my oncologist back home. It is always good to get a second opinion, thoughts and prayers sent your way.
MelindaMarch 19, 2015 at 10:43 am #87307
We are considering Mayo at Rochester or Memorial Sloan Kettering in NY. Any suggestions on which one for a stage 4 ?March 17, 2015 at 8:15 am #87306marionsModerator
Balwas…..the search function revealed numerous postings re: Alberta, Canada. Some of it will pertain to your questions others may not. But, I believe it is worth taking a look.
Good luck and please keep us posted. We care.
MarionMarch 17, 2015 at 3:00 am #87305mbachiniModerator
Welcome to this site, and sorry you had to find us. I am sorry about your wife’s diagnosis.
The following link has a list of major hospitals who have Tumor Boards and Multi-disciplinary teams……
this would be a great place to start looking.
I would also encourage you to post in the introduction section, so others would have a chance to jump in on this topic as well. Please know we are all here to support you in anyway we can. Take care.
MelindaMarch 16, 2015 at 5:11 pm #11051
My wife was just diagnosed with unresectable cholangiocarcinoma.It is stage 4 and they say it is palliative. We are just into this for one week now. We are trying to get the pain and nausea under control in hospital. She has 2 catheters, 1 not really working well, and 1 stent working well. The prognosis is 6 months, maybe 2 more if do chemo but we haven’t talked to an oncologist yet. We just got the biopsy result. When she is able we want a second opinion. We live in the province of Saskatchewan Canada but we can pay for private care in the USA. Where should we go? There are many clinics but how do we tell which one to go to?
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