June 15, 2011 at 1:18 am #50895nancy246Participant
Jen, Your dad’s strength amazes me. I am so glad you are getting in wonderful visits with your dad. You will cherish these days forever.
The first hospice sounds beautiful. I’m glad your holding out for that one. Thinking of you always. Hugs to you, your dad and mom, and the rest of your family. Holding you close in Revelstoke. NancyJune 14, 2011 at 9:56 pm #50894lalupesParticipant
What a wonderful post; thank you for sharing that good day with us. I agree about holding out for the one you all want. If he passes before a bed comes up there, he’ll be with his family. If a bed comes up before then, he’ll be in a place which feels like home. Sounds good to me.
Thinking of you all.
Julia xxJune 14, 2011 at 7:51 pm #50893gavinModerator
Thank you so much for your post and for letting us know how your dad is doing. It is so good to hear that you had an amaing day with your dad yesterday. I had some days like that as well with my dad and I treasure them now and still remember them with fond memories.
The first hospice that you mention sounds like the right choice and I agree that holding out for that one is best. And I so like what your dad said about you all being his family and not his nurses. I hope that you get to share many days like yesterday with your dad, they are so special indeed. Thinking of you and your dad right now.
GavinJune 14, 2011 at 7:18 pm #50892andieParticipant
I have been thinking of you and your family. I’m so glad you had a good day with your Dad, he certainly is a fighter!
As for hospice, I agree that it is best to hold out for the one that in your heart feels right.
Your Dad sound so much like mine in regard to his independance. My Dad was so out of breath just getting washed and dressed but he would use every last bit of energy to do it himself, this was so important to him. In the end though he did let Mom help him.
I pray your Dad has many more good days and you are able to have more days together having those precious Father, Daughter chats.
Sending all my love to you all, keep strong.
Andrea xxJune 14, 2011 at 7:05 pm #50891lainyParticipant
Hi Jen. Just want to say how much I admire how you and your family are taking care of your Dad. I didn’t think he would balk at going to Hospice as he really doesn’t want to be a burden on his family and he knows deep inside that is the best place for him to be. Isn’t it amazing how as sick as our loved ones can be how so many of them still think of us first? I learned so much taking this journey with Teddy as I am sure you are learning from your dad. I wonder why we couldn’t be born this smart and caring so that we didn’t need these life lessons. But I still feel it was an awesome and precious time for the most part.
So many times I wished Teddy had a zipper so I could crawl right inside of him and stay there forever! Stay strong, keep up your wonderful care and spirit and know I am thinking about you a lot and sending special prayers your way.June 14, 2011 at 6:06 pm #5288jennifersMember
I spent the day with Dad yesterday, and it was one of those amazing days that I will hold on to always. He is down to 102 pounds, can’t eat or drink because he has an obstruction and is pretty weak. Yesterday, however, was a great day. He was up ALL day and evening, wasn’t in pain (besides being hungry and thirsty), and was completely awake and aware the entire time. Having conversations with him, and just being with him when he felt pretty good (and without having to worry about my very busy 2 year old running around since she was at her dayhome) was so nice.
He tried to eat last night, since he so badly wants to keep up some of his strength, and I guess he was sick during the night and this morning. He is on steroids to try to help with the obstruction, since enemas are not doing a thing for it. Hopefully it helps and he’s able to start eating (or at least drinking) small amounts without being so ill afterwords. He’s very tired and worn out today, but after being up all day yesterday, I am not surprised.
Dad is now on the list for hospice. We went and visited 2 – one was beautiful, wonderful and so peaceful. It felt like home. Only 7 patients at a time, and it’s just a big old beautiful house, with an amazing chapel that has an entire wall of stained glass (it used to be owned by priests), and family areas with pull out couches, sitting areas, kitchens, play areas for kids, etc. all over the place. The second was institutional, felt like a hospital, and I found it quite cold after seeing the first. Although beds have come up, we are holding out for the one that we felt so comfortable in, and if he passes before a bed opens up, then so be it. We will not have him somewhere that will feel like anything less then a home for him, and for us. Because he is holding on so strongly to what little independence he has left and won’t let Mom wash him or help him with any of that sort of thing, we talked to him about hospice. He wasn’t sure at first, but seems to be very good with the idea of it now, since he wants us to “be his family, not his nurses”. We will see what happens there.
I am thinking of you all.
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