A question from my sister

julia
i hope things go well for your sisters follow up. Many of us understand what she is going through in our own way. I think it is a process getting back to …something that will help define things for you outside of a disease. Encourage your sister to really think about who she is. A sister, a friend, Mother? Wife? and then the same with work. The next step is to explore what each of these things means. My sister was going through a rough divorce when i was home the first year. I used to say to her, my liver might be lousy but my ears work great. It felt great to help someone else.
I also started attending meetings for a local charity. I did not offer to do much in the begining and often made sure it was somthing I could do if I felt well and skip if I didn’t. Tonight I was voted on to the board of dirrectors! She will find her spot, it just takes time and patience.
thanks for being her support. we all need sisters, cancer or not.

Hi Julia,

Great news on your sister, long may it continue!! It sounds like she had a great week away and to come back looking like her old self as you say shows how good a week she must have had. And I can see how the break away would have done the both of you a lot of good, I can understand that, and some time not having to talk about cancer and everything that relates to it must have been a relief to you both.

Glad to hear that your sisters onc is happy with how things have gone so far. As to scans, when was the last one done and did the onc say that they would do another one at the follow up meeting in 2 months time anyway? Or will they just do one if they think it is needed? Can understand you feeling nervous, but just keep an eye on things and try to relax. I am sure that if your sister is feeling anything is not right then you will be the first person she will tell.

Perhaps now that your sister has come home having had such a good week away with lots of walking, she will feel a bit more up for getting out and about a bit more here?

My best wishes to you both,

Gavin

Lainy, scrapbooking is a wonderful idea. You don’t need energy to just sit and cut or whatever, and you can create something lasting for whomever you want…even if its just for yourself. I like that idea very much.

Linda Z.

Julia,

I too have those days when I was on chemo. (and probably will have them again) when you just CAN’T bring yourself to do much of anything. Whether that’s because of the tiredness or just being down. Just take it as it comes (and then goes) and do whatever you can, little at a time. And let family and friends “help” you out too. They really want to, so let them. And you will have your days when you will feel better and and do for others as you see fit.

Good luck.

Linda Z.

Hi Julia,

Nothing to add, but am thinking of you & your sister and hope the follow up today goes well.

Darla

Hi Julia,

From my dads experience, what I would say to your sister is to try and make the most of the days when she is feeling good and not so tired, sort of like what Kris is doing I guess. My dad and I used to make plans in advance to do this, go here etc, and a lot of the time he couldn’t do them as he was so tired. So then it sort of became easier just to wait and see how dad felt and do things that day etc.

Also, when he got too tired to go out and see his mates at the pub, they just changed their plans and they would come visit dad at home. Plus the day care twice a week worked wonder for dad, but I realise it is probably not for everyone. And the learning to ride horses also helped with a sense of achievement and doing something new, plus it gave dad some exercise! Not sure if any of that will be of use or not! And I hope all goes well with the Onc today.

Best wishes to you and your sister,

Gavin

Hi Julia,

I struggle with this issue so much that I can’t believe I’m going to even comment But I have gained a little insight into this problem. I’m kind of going through this stage of resignation and its sad but its also kind of a relief. I’ve started thinking about things I can do. For example, I’ve gotten involved with the local chapter of the American Liver Foundation. They totally understand my circumstances and are so supportive and eager to hear from someone like me. I invested in an Ipod touch and a MacBook. These 2 tools provide tons of entertainment, keep me connected to people when I can’t get out of bed, provide “snuggle” time with my kids (who have to show me how to use the darn things!) I’ve also started looking at classes online – anything that interests me – doesn’t have to be work or career related – just something to keep me going. These things have helped me to feel better about myself and beat the boredom that comes with sitting around every day.

This is a process for me that keeps evolving. Tell you sister to take heart, she is not alone in her feelings. One of my girlfriends told me, “Betsy, being productive is so over-rated!” I think she’s right.

Hugs,
Betsy