March 1, 2010 at 2:22 am #26713gavinModerator
I am sorry that you had to find us and so sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through right now. I went through this with my dad in December of last year and I know how hard it is, he was only 65.
As Darla says, there is so much support here from people who have been through what you are going through right now so please keep coming back.
My best wishes to you and your family,
GavinMarch 1, 2010 at 1:11 am #26712
I am so sorry that you too are going through this. No one should ever have to deal with this, but many of us have and know what you are feeling. My husband was only 62. We were married 41 years and together 45. He passed away less than 2 months after his first symptoms. I am glad you have found this site as there is a lot of support, comfort & love here. Yes, it is awful, but we are all here for you. You are not alone. Please keep coming back and let us know how things are going.
With Love & Hugs,
DarlaMarch 1, 2010 at 12:17 am #26711moniqueParticipant
your message really touched me. We live in Montreal (speak French son my English may sound strange sometimes). My husband was diagnosed with cc in November and the surgeon thought it was resecable. On the operation day, They found out that it had spread and told us his life expectancy was for weeks, months at the best. My husband (64) is hardly coming out of bed, not eating at all, and is starting to be confused and hallucinating. The end is near. Like you, everyone kept saying that we should cherish every moment. This really got me mad, as there are no good moments seeing your loved one (married 35 years) really weakening a bit more every day and dealing with the drains, the loss of appetite, the medecine, etc. you know ! So I agree with you, it is awful.
MoniqueFebruary 24, 2010 at 12:58 am #26710gavinModerator
I am sorry to hear of this. My sympathies to you and your family. I lost my dad to CC in December 09 so I can relate to how you feel right now. I know that words can’t help ease your pain, but please know that I am thinking of you.
My thoughts are with you and your family,
GavinFebruary 23, 2010 at 12:49 pm #26709
My most sincere sympathies go out to you and your family. No words can ease the pain. Take comfort knowing that he is now in a better place and no longer suffering. He will be in your heart and memories forever. He will always be near you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaFebruary 23, 2010 at 8:33 am #26708duke0929Member
lucille and i send our sincere sympathies to you and your family, our prayers are with you… your husband will be with you always…he will live forever in your hearts and mind….i know no words can comfort you and your family but like lainy said he is not far from you……lucille and ronFebruary 23, 2010 at 3:56 am #26707lainyParticipant
Please accept our sincere sympathies on the loss of your good husband. He was very lucky to have such a wonderful, loving family. I just know he is not far from all of you and will be watching over you all forever. Prayers and thoughts floating your way.February 23, 2010 at 3:25 am #26706tawanda400Member
I lost my beloved husband of 24 years last Monday evening, February 15th, at 10:47 pm. I am numb. Our service was on Saturday and my son delivered the most moving eulogy. He honored his father. My daughter was by my side, where she has been throughout these 20 months. She was my inspiration and her Dad’s nightly protein shake maker.
We are heartbroken.
Peace and Love to all.February 12, 2010 at 6:07 am #26705tawanda400Member
Thank you all, so very much, for your words of encouragement and your prayers. I knew I would find support and true understanding here. As you all have said, what we need now is strength, courage, and peace. I feel the prayers coming our way!February 10, 2010 at 5:10 pm #26704
I am so sorry for what you are all going through right now.
My post above to Carol (#4) would be the same to you. As you said, you are now where she was then. I too know what it is like and yes, it is so very hard no matter if it is fast or slow. No one but us who have walked this path can truely understand. We are all here for you. My heart goes out to you and your family. Know that I am thinking of you and wishing you strength and courage to carry on.
With Love & Hugs,
DarlaFebruary 10, 2010 at 1:57 pm #26703lainyParticipant
Dearest Debbie, I cannot even imagine. The best I can do is send you love and hugs and let you know we are all sending you courage and strength.February 10, 2010 at 1:42 pm #26702walkMember
I read Pam’s response and thought, hey, that’s me exactly. But I would like to add something to it.
My father passed away last September. He began appearing in my dreams for the first time since then just 3 days ago. l have been struggling more as of late than any other time and I believe he knows that.
In the first dream, we were together on a vacation, having fun doing something we both enjoy. In the next, he was sick, very much like he was last summer, failing physically and suffering from dementia. Last night’s dream is not as clear, but he was himself and not sick.
Maybe it is my subconscious telling me what I already know, but I like to believe it is him reminding me that he had to go, that it was his time and that I should remember the good not the bad.
I (and many others here) completely understand the awfulness those last days can bring and the relief that will come. I spoke with one of my best friends who lost her father suddenly when we were in high school nearly 30 years ago. Obviously, there are pros and cons. I got to say goodbye *and everything else I wanted) but the price was having him linger longer than he or I wanted.
I am so sorry for where you are right now. But there will be better days.
JanFebruary 10, 2010 at 1:15 pm #26701cherbourgParticipant
This is so hard. I know this time last year we were starting to see the decline in my Mom’s condition. She died April 3, 2009 after being diagnosed in May of 2008.
To watch a loved one slip away on so many fronts is agonizing. By the time the end was near I was able to tell Mom that we would be ok and that it was ok for her to “let go” – something I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do. I think I spent the last month of her life teetering between acceptance that she was really going to die and leave us and grief that it had to be. Mom’s passing was mostly peaceful and I wrote about it on this site as we entered the last hours of her life.
As the one year anniversary of her death approaches, I find myself still unable to believe it’s almost been a year. It seems like it was only yesterday I was caught up in helping my Dad make decisions.
There is nothing that we can say to make it better but it is helpful to know you have a place you can come to talk, vent and know that we understand all of the conflicting emotions.
Know that you and your family are in our thoughts and daily prayers. We’re here when you need us.
Hugs and much love,
PamFebruary 10, 2010 at 11:44 am #26700jcleggMember
We truly do understand what you are going through now. The suffereing was what made it possible for me to accept that he must go from this world when the time came. My husband wasn’t on hospice as long as yours has been, but it was agonizing. I pray for strength, peace, and that God will comfort you and your husband at this time.
Joyce C.February 10, 2010 at 9:25 am #26699magicParticipant
We are still here to understand and wish you well,we have been through it too
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