After being diagnosed, what’s next?

Hi Sharon, One real important thing while having chemo is to keep yourself hydrated. Don’t hesitate to go back to Oncolgy to be rehydrated. In my opinion you are more prone to developing side effects or any that do appear will be more difficult to deal with. Also, drinking a few cans of ensure a day along with her water will help some with maintaining weight. Having chemo is so individualized. Like Peter and Joyce mentioned if it is making her to ill you can cut back on dosage or stop treatments. Chemo can be extremely hard on the body. It is certainly a hard choice to make. If it was my Mom and it was spread as much as you say. I personally would favour away from chemo and have a quality end of life. But if my Mum said she wanted to keep on trying the chemo I would respect her wishes. Your Mom may just kick butt, but more than likely this herrendous disease will dominate in the long run . But who knows when for sure ? Only the Lord knows for sure. Wish you both the best!
God Bless You Both.
Jeff G.

Hi Sharon,
I echo all the wise words that Peter just posted. Chemo is an individual decision – sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t – and when it doesn’t help, you don’t know if it’s because the chemo is too harsh or the cancer is just too aggressive to be helped at that point. As Peter said, it’s always okay to stop chemo if you think it’s just too destructive and giving too many side effects. In my mother’s case, she didn’t do chemo until she started to feel nauseous and ill every day and we thought chemo might help. THe first round knocked her out but then she felt reall good for about a week or two. The second chemo was just too much for her, messed with her immune system too much. Things to consider: does your mother have a pretty good immune system (not too many allergies and side effects to other drugs)? She sounds pretty strong so she probably can take it, but you never know until you try. Also, is her dosage too high and could it be lowered if necessary?(with Xeloda the dosage is often adjusted) Of course you want quality of life, so you have to just GUESS how much the illness if from chemo and how much from the cc. It’s very frustrating, but please don’t think you ever made the wrong choice – there is no wrong choice, because there are no clear-cut answers.

As for a timeline, there is no answer there either! Chemo can extend life but sometimes this cancer just doesn’t quit and it progresses rapidly. My mother had two months of life after diagnosis, she was only 64. But many others extend their lives for a year or two or even more. Look for fluid build-up in the abdomen(ascites) or legs, jaundice, uncontrollable nausea (get good prescription anti-nausea drugs, more than one type) – but even these symptoms can sometimes just be glitches in the road and not real signs of the end.

I feel for you, being so far away and trying to figure out how to do the best for your mother from a distance. As long as you give her your support and sympathy, which is the most important thing, you’re doing the right thing.

Let us know how your mother progresses – best of luck to you!
-Joyce