All Done
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My sincerest sympathy goes out to you. The death of a loved one is difficult at any age for any cause. The death of your child, however, is the the worst trauma a parent can endure. I know.
Some of the best advice I received after my son died was not to put any expectations of myself. As time moves forward you will understand why this is important advice. Just deal with whatever comes in whatever way is best for YOU. Not placing expectations on yourself is actually a gift you give yourself.
My son died unexpectedly from an addiction. He was 26. I will never get over having lost him, but I must tell you that in 2 1/2 years time I have come to rely on the sweetest memories of him to get through each day. He was a joyful, carefree, sweet, kind, funny, smart, creative and loving human being. He brought a smile to everyone’s face and now those memories of my precious son bring a smile to my face inspite of not having him here with me. Truth be told, sometimes it feels more bittersweet, but it’s sweet none the less. I am in a place now where I can feel gratitude for having had him for 26 years.
Please accept a warm virtual HUG from one parent to another.I’m new on this site and I came here because my mom and my cousin both died from cholangiocarcinoma.
P.S. Angie, yes GOD takes the best! And, God has his plans and doesn’t have to ask us! I like to write poetry it is very cathartic for me and below is a poem I wrote about 5 days before Teddy passed.
Time is growing closer, I can see it in his eyes,
Time is growing closer, but we’ll have no sad ‘goodbyes’.
Memories abound from our precious moments spent,
To God it is, I’m sending, the most “precious” package sent.These last few months of knowing, we’ve made a honeymoon,
In my mind a vision of an eternal, beautiful afternoon.
He is still my charming Prince, who taught me how to love,
And someday we’ll be together, in Heaven up above.I will see him riding stars, I will see him in the moon,
And someday you will see us dancing to our favorite tune.
He will touch my face so gently, like he’s known to do,
It’s not goodbye forever, with memories bad or few.All our love, my sweet one, is ours to hold so tight,
Until once again together on a mystical, magic night,
We will be again united to celebrate our dance around the sun,
And know that our eternity together, has only just begun.Angie, how is Dad doing? Does Hospice have his agitation under better control? Did you get my 10 steps? Met your Sister on here and must say your parents raised some pretty good people! Be strong hang in. Sis wants to do lunch too.
With deepest sympathy…I am so sorry for your loss.
My heart aches for you as I am seeing how we are slowly losing my dad to this cancer.
“God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put His arms around you and whispered “Come to Me.” With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away. Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best.”
– Author Unknown
I am so sorry to hear that your son has passed. Oh, how I wish there was some way to have helped him. Why isn’t there a test prior to the illness becoming so bad? I write my condolences so often on this site that it breaks my heart. I look forward to the day when we know why we had loose so many. We have no answers and the only thing to do is go on as difficult as that may be. I pray for you, your family and your son’s girlfriend.
Dear notdoneyet,
I am incredibly sad to hear of your son’s passing. Being a Mother I can only imagine what pain you are experiencing at this moment. I had never thought about the fact that Mother’s that lose children have no name to represent them.
I can only hope for you that the passage of time lessens your grief and that happy memories replace the sadness that you are feeling now.
We are here for you always.
Thinking of you.
-Randi-Dear Notdoneyet,
I am so very very sorry indeed to hear of your sons passing. Please accept my sincere condolences. I know that there is nothing that I could say that would help, but please know that my thoughts are with you right now.
Hugs,
Gavin
I am so sorry to hear your son has passed on. There are no words that can ease your pain, but try to take some comfort in knowing that he is now in a better place, no longer suffering or in pain. Keep him with you in your heart and memories of better times, before CC.
You and your family have my deepest sympathy. Take care.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaHi,
No word I can say to comfort a parent who love her son so much with such understanding and love.
May God’s grace be with you always.
God bless.Dearest Notdoneyet,
I am heartbroken to hear about your precious son. Being the Mother of a daughter with CC, I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling. I’m sure you did everything humanly possible to always make him comfortable and feel loved. That was the best thing you could have done, so be proud of that. I pray one day you can carry your son in your heart with happy memories.
Much love and many hugs,
-PamFrom one Mother to another my heart just breaks for you, you have just sent to Heaven the most priceless package that can be sent. You are so right, there are no words to describe, I can only imagine. You know that you did your “Mothering” with the utmost grace, dignity and knowledge.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.”
Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne)My son continued on his path last night, March 2, 2013 a little after 11:00 pm. He made it easy to care for him with never a complaint. It has been a terrible experience on one hand and an eye opening, life and attitude changing experience on the other. There are more things to be grateful for then not. At this moment I’m having a difficult time remembering those things. But I will and I will write them down so I never forget.
Do you know there is no descriptive word for a parent who loses a child? You have Widows, Widowers, Orphans, etc…..
Thank you all for the priceless unselfish information and support given here. You have made this journey easier for those who come after you! I will return and try to do my part.
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