Another Beautiful Angel

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  • #52226
    amylea
    Spectator

    Ashley,

    Your post really touched me. I was in your shoes September 13, 2009. My my, my best friend, left us. It is so hard to explain the emotions. I can remember feeling such comfort along with intense sadness. I felt guilt feeling that way. I didn’t want to tell anyone that I in some way felt comfort with the fact that Mom was gone. In my head it sounded awful. Unless someone has been through what we have gone through, I don’t think that they can understand. I missed and still miss her more than I ever thought possible, but I am so glad that she isn’t having to suffer anymore. No more tests, no more waiting, no more roller coaster ride. Please know that we are here for you. This is a difficult journey, and it does help to go through it with others who have been in your shoes. I am so sorry :(

    Amy

    #52225
    cherbourg
    Spectator

    Oh Ashley,

    I’m so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing. I walked in your shoes on April 3, 2009 and know how your heart is breaking. Words mean little but I know from your posts that your Mom raised a remarkable woman. You will be a living legacy to the amazing mother you had….and I suspect will pass everything along to your daughter. Lainy is right in that Moms never really leave their children. Please take care of yourself in the coming days. Grief is the hardest task we have and there is no timetable. You will get through this next journey and you will be stronger than you can ever imagine. I’m sending prayers for strength and lots of hugs.

    We’re always here when you need us!
    Hugs,
    Pam

    #52224
    katieloumatt
    Member

    Dear Ashley,

    Sending my sincered condolences on the sad loss of your beloved Mum. As Lainy says Mum’s nevre really leave us, they hold our hands and stay in our hearts forever.

    With love, Katie

    #52222
    Bazel
    Spectator

    Ashley,

    My sympathies to you and your family. I hope that knowing your mom is at peace will bring you comfort in the days ahead.

    Bz

    #52223
    jennifers
    Member

    Ashley – I am also sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing, but thankful that it was peaceful and that you, like so many of us, find comfort in that peace. I have a 2 year old daughter as well, and her smiles help me on the sad days. I will be thinking and praying for you in the days to come. Take care of yourself now.

    Jen

    #52221
    nancy246
    Spectator

    Dear Ashley, So sorry to hear of your mom’s passing but glad to hear how peaceful it was. Reminded me of my own mom’s passing and so I understand the feeling of comfort with the pain. Somehow it makes it feel okay even though your heart is breaking. I think it reminds us that death is not an end but a beginning. You will cherish all the times with your loving mom and she will never be far, just right there in your heart and will live on forever in you and your daughter. Take care. Nancy

    #52220
    lainy
    Spectator

    Dearest Ashley, I am so sorry about your Mother but thankfully she is now at Peace. I felt the same way at the very end that you did. All of a sudden you could hear a hair drop and I grabbed Teddy and held him tight and he had one last breath. When I withdrew from him, he looked so peaceful, his face was so perfectly clear that you would never had known he had been so sick. I try to remember that over and over, even thought it’s tough on me. There are no words to explain how he looked. Not a wrinkle on his face, no marks, no nothing. Just pure peace. The days ahead will be a little rough but you will do fine. I always say that mothers never really leave their children and she will be all around you. I would like to extend my sympathies to you and you family, you are a wonderful daughter.

    Your Mother, through your memories
    Will never leave you.
    You will feel her tender care from now on
    As a warm serenity in your heart.
    Hoping you always feel the encouragement
    Of her love, and hold in memory
    All the happy times you spent together.

    #52219
    andie
    Spectator

    Dear AshleyC,

    Please accept my deepest sympathy on the passing of your precious Mom. I know so well the pain of this moment, but what a blessing that you could be with her right to the end. I still remember the look of peace on my Dads face when he passed away, and I still find comfort in this, 6 months later. You have been a wonderful daughter and support to your Mom, and I’m sure she will always be by your side, proudly watching over you and your daughter. Please take time now to take care of yourself.

    Love to you all

    Andrea

    #52218
    gavin
    Moderator

    Dear Ashley,

    I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your mother. Please accept my sincerest condolences. You did everything possible that you could for your mother and she is suffering no more. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.

    Gavin

    #5541
    ashleyc
    Spectator

    I wanted to update everyone on my last posting. We received word from the doctor on Saturday, August 6, 2011 that we would be taking my mother home with hospice. By the time the hospital got around to it, it was Tuesday afternoon on August 9th before we got her home. She was already expieriencing hepatic encephalopathy and was for the most part unresponsive. Tuesday evening she went through a period where she would talk for short moments, ask for some water and wanted to get up to to go the bathroom even though she had a folley in. Tuesday evening we all went to bed, except for dad and he stayed in the room with her. I woke up around 4:00 am and could hear hear moaning or trying to talk, I’m not sure. Dad gave her some more morphine to help with the pain but it didn’t seem to help. I got up around 7:00 am to relieve my dad from the long night he’d had. We’ve all been so exhausted trying to spend every last moment with her this past year. There was never one moment that she was alone. I sat there beside her, played with her hair as she had always loved. I held her hand and told her that it was okay to go home. She stopped moaning and making noises and just layed there breathing. It was two short breaths at a time for a couple of mintues and then one short breath for a couple of mintues. I will never forget the look on her face when she took her last breath, it was as though she was being lifted up, carried away. After her last breath, she was so peaceful. I cannot explain how much comfort I felt in such a moment of sadness. No more hurt, no more pain and suffering, no more hospital beds. She passed away on Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 8:51am with her family surrounding her. Although I’ve lost my best friend, mother and memaw to my 2 year old daughter, I will never forget the love and support of my CC family here. You have all given such wonderful words of advice, shared stories and offered your hearts to a stranger. Thank you for everything. God Bless!

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