May 28, 2010 at 9:30 pm #38478
Hi Lisa, my Aunt and I both think of you too and pray for you. I just hung up talking to her and she fell lastnight! I am so grateful for Kathleen. (the lady caring for her). She said if KAthleen wasn’t there she may have been down awhile. I am so sad that happened. She said she started to spin and went down hitting her head. Love to you also! Enjoy your Memorial weekend everyone. HollieMay 28, 2010 at 3:27 pm #38477lisaSpectator
Oh Hollie, you are so good for caring and loving your aunt so much. I think of her often and pray for her. She is going through such a difficult time, but she is so brave. It is strange to me, too, how this horrible disease affects us in different ways. Sophie seems to be suffering more than most, and it breaks my heart. I am so glad she has someone living with her to help her out.
Love you Hollie, and give my love to Sophie too.May 28, 2010 at 3:14 am #38476
Hi Everyone, I really appreciate your thoughts. Darla, I agree with you that this is so hard for all involved. Also that sometimes a quick end to the physical and emotional pain is better than a long process. My Aunt’s mind is so sharp but her body is giving up. It has been really painful to see her fail slowly but surely over the past two years. Sometimes I wonder how this disease is so different for so many patients. For example, my Aunt has never been jaundice. Seems like so many are. Kris, you are a true inspiration! I just wish I could give you a big hug. You are going through your own fight and have a heart bigger than life. You are a very special person. Gavin, you too have an incredible compassion as you know first hand the struggles and sadness this cancer brings. All of you out there mean a lot to not only myself but to my Aunt. She is not actively involved here any longer due to the circumstances, but is praying and being updated by me as to what is going on in so many people’s lives that have touched her by this. One other symptom my Aunt Sophie has that most do not is the ascites. To me that is the one thing that has caused my aunt the most pain and discomfort. Also the mouth sores. SHe has been through so much and to me I just can’t understand why one has to endure so much. She really is a strong women to keep waking up, taking the pills, forcingherself to eat and going to the doctors. Also keeping up on watering the plants and paying the bills, all by herself. Till now that is. I pray this new care taker is just what she needs in her life to help her get through these next days. Thanks for listening and for all of your support. This web site is a God send. So nice to have people who understand to talk to. Even my husband tells me I am taking on so much and stressing. I admit I do stress and worry and try to take time and clear my mind from the uncertainties. Sometimes it is hard. Love and prayers to all, HollieMay 27, 2010 at 7:02 pm #38475gavinModerator
Thank you giving us an update on your Aunt Sophie. I know how hard this is for you right now, I went through the same with my dad last year although I didn’t have to deal with the distance issue that you do. There is nothing wrong with feeling worried and scared, that is just natural and also you are right again in how hard it is to just sit there and watch a loved one suffer. None of us ever want to do that, but I know that you have the strength to be there for your Aunt and also how much she appreciates what you do for her.
Kris is right in that you should also try and take some time to think of yourself if you can. Everybody here told me that last year when I was caring for my dad and they were right. Sometime we can’t see or feel how stressed we are getting and even if you can just take a small amount of time for yourself then I think that will help. I am glad to hear that Sophie now has a live in carer and also that she is able to stay in her home. Hopefully she will feel as comfortable as possible here, and as you say, there is nothing like home.
Please come back here as often as you want, as we all care and know what you are going through.
My best wishes to you and Sophie,
GavinMay 27, 2010 at 9:15 am #38474devoncatSpectator
I was thinking about Sophie yesterday in the shower and was going to email you and see how she was doing. I just felt like something was happening there.
I know it is hard that she now needs live in help, but please think of this as a positive. Everyone has these same feelings towards hospice and then when they arrive, people dont know how they lived without them. This is going to be the same way. This is a positive for everyone but most importantly for Sophie. She wants to stay at home and as long as that is possible, that is the way it should be. Hospitals are no place for comfort and peace.
I wish the fluid build up would just stop. That seems to be the thing that causes the most discomfort. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it stop. Sophie is such a fighter. And I cant believe she has been doing this drain thing for so long. Where does that spirit and strength come from? It must be her love of family. She is a wonder and inspiration.
Give her my warmest greetings and tell her that I am and have been thinking about her and will be thinking the warmest thoughts for her.
Thanks Hollue for keeping us up to date. BTW, you sound a little stressed. You are doing all that you can and your aunt knows that. Dont forget to think of and take care of yourself during this time. Sophie wouldnt want you to run yourself down.
KrisMay 26, 2010 at 9:50 pm #38473
Hi, I do not know how I did that but I deleted one post cause I did this one twice. I did read what you wrote Lainly and I appreciate how caring and sincere you are. I will call my Aunt later today and see how it is going and will be better to keep all of you up to date. Thanks again!May 26, 2010 at 9:28 pm #38472darlaSpectator
Thanks for the update on Sophie. I only wish the news had been better. Atleast now she will have someone there to help her out and care for her. I know it is hard when you are so far away. None of this is easy for any of us. The patient or the caregivers, family & friends. I’m not sure which is worse, to lose a loved one quickly or to have to watch them go through so much, even tho’ they are given more time. I lost my husband real quickly and it was very hard on all of us. However, now that I am thinking more clearly, I think for him it was for the best. Atleast he did not live with and suffer for a long time trying to fight this terrible disease. Either way, it is hard on all involved. Know that I am thinking of you and your Aunt Sophie. Hoping for the best for all. Take care Hollie and let us know how things are going when you can.
Love & Hugs,
DarlaMay 26, 2010 at 9:10 pm #3583
Today is a hard day as my sweet Aunt now has a live in care taker. We have been struggling with the idea for quite some time now. She lives so far away from everybody so it has been tough. A friend and neighbor of my Aunt referred a nice single lady that would be interested. She moves in today and I just hope for the best. I went down to visit at Easter time and knew then that it was time to make a plan. The other options just did not work because she is so comfortable with her current doctors. Plus, there really is no place like home. I of course am worried, scared and feeling so far away. If only I lived a few hours closer. The calls I make daily are better than nothing but she is so out of breathe that she can not talk long and is hard to understand. She is still getting the weekly drains for the acsites and that fluid build up has been just miserable for her. She mentioned to me that her feet were swelling and turning a blueish color. Also her legs. She has been such a trooper for the past two and a half years and this has been the hardest thing for me personally. To see a loved one suffer for so long is unbearable at times. I think of the day I can’t pick up the phone and call her. It is all too much to handle at times. Just wanted to say hi and let you all know how my Aunt Sophie’s situation is. She is far too weak to check in here so I am certain there will not be any posts from her but I will check in soon. Thanks for caring and being here! Hollie
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