Bad news, mom not operable

Discussion Board Forums Introductions! Bad news, mom not operable

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #59895
    amyb1988
    Participant

    Hi Dina,
    I left a reply on Wednesday but see now it never did post. First of all, I am so sorry that we are both living the same nightmare. (Im the one who’s mom had the exact same outcome as yours on Tuesday this past week.)
    I would never wish anyone to be in the position our family is in.
    How is your mom feeling? My mom got discharged today, she is still pretty sore at the incision site, but otherwise feels good. Our next step is Wed the 18th when she has an appointment with a new oncologist in Sacramento. I have no idea what to expect, its just like we have this date in our heads and we are all hoping of course he will give us some wonderful words of wisdom and possibly treatment to prolong her life (STILL can’t believe I am saying these words!!)
    The one thing I keep hearing is to encourage her to choose quality of life over quantity. I hate it..I don’t want her to have to choose, she’s so young, happy and full of life with 6 young grandkids who adore her.
    Anyway I can go on and on, just so scared and sad..as you know :( Id love to keep in touch, compare notes etc. I hope your holding up OK, I think we are all in denial cause things appear so normal and she feels so normal!!!
    Take care of yourself
    Amy

    #59894
    ronidinkes
    Member

    I am so sorry to hear this news. I am local if you need to talk, vent, cry or just need a hot meal. Sending love and Hugs, your way!
    Roni
    443-394-6163

    #59893
    pamela
    Participant

    Dina,

    I am so sorry about your Mom’s surgery outcome. Take one day at a time and try to stay positive. Of course it was shocking for you to hear that your Mom was inoperable. That is because you had hope for the best. Please don’t give up hope. Miracles happen every day. Chemo has really helped my daughter feel so much better. I think you will feel better once you have a diagnosis and a game plan. We are all here to help. Take care and God bless.

    -Pam

    #59892
    sharonlee
    Member

    Dina;

    I am so sorry to hear your about your Mom. It’s terrible when you don’t know exactly what the illness is. Gallbladder or bile duct. I started researching pancreatic cancer when my Mom became sick and then it went to bile duct. Still never knew exact stage of the disease. Love you Mom and be there for her. We pray for you.

    #59891
    amy
    Participant

    Dina,
    My heart goes out to you, but as Marion said, its best to get all the results together to see which way to go. Stay strong for your Mom. You will be amazed by the strength you have. Support, prayers and good thoughts to you and your Mom,
    ~Amy

    #59890
    gavin
    Moderator

    Dear Dina,

    I am sorry to hear this news about your mums surgery. I know that this will have been so hard for you all and it is not what you wanted to hear. Unfortunately as Marion points out, this type of situation is far too common and it has happened to many.

    I can’t share any personal experiences here as my dads CC was deemed inoperable from his diagnosis. But I know what I felt like on hearing that news and I know that you will be feeling very similar right now. We are all here for you so please keep coming back and lean on us. And please, let us know what happens when your mum sees the oncologist.

    Hugs to you and your mum,

    Gavin

    #59889
    marions
    Moderator

    Dina…My heart is with you. This is the kind of news none of us want to receive, but it happens frequently in that the true extent of the disease can only be determined via open surgery. Dr. Chote has operated on many CC patients – I would trust his opinion.
    Dina, let’s await the pathology reports and the recommendation of the oncologist because; first and foremost the suspected diagnoses by Dr. Chote needs to be confirmed. Depending on the results you might also want to discuss the possibility of a clinical trial for your Mom.
    Please, keep us posted and please, know that we are with you.
    Hugs and love,
    Marion

    #59888
    darla
    Participant

    Dina,

    Sorry that you have gotten this bad news. Just try to take things as they come. Every person is different and there are no rules with this disease. Live your life to the fullest, make each day count. No one knows for sure what the future will bring. Live, love, laugh and take things one day at a time. I know none of this is easy, but know that you have a whole lot of people here to help and support you.

    Good thoughts coming your way from Wisconisn.

    Love & Hugs,
    Darla

    #59887
    pam
    Participant

    Dina, I am so sorry about the disappointing news of your Mom’s surgery. I am responding because it was the same with my Dad’s cancer. The surgery was aborted too. They believed his started in the gallbladder and then traveled the biliary tract. It was in his pancreas too. He never had mets to his liver. The surgeon said he wouldn’t have had any clear margins. It was heartbreaking. After about a month, my dad was doing better. We had so many good days and trips to the coffee shop. He tried a few treatments of chemo, but he was in a very weak state and couldn’t tolerate it. He lived about 6 months from diagnosis of cholangiocarinoma. He did have other health issues as well. I know your family feels like they have been punched in the gut right now. It will take time to process it. I hope your mom is feeling better soon and you can make those memories with her. Wishing you all the best, Pam

    #59886
    lainy
    Participant

    Dina, I don’t honeswtly know. I am sure that PCL or Marion will have an answer for you. Be strong.

    #59885
    dinawest
    Participant

    Thanks Lainy. It’s obviously so disappointing and really a shock, we didn’t allow ourselves to go too far in considering this kind of scenario.

    Does this even qualify as a CC?

    I feel like I now need to learn about a whole new disease…

    -dina

    #59884
    lainy
    Participant

    Dina, I am so very sorry to hear this. About the only advise we can give when told what you have been told is to live each day, one day at a time making more loving memories. You never know how strong you are until “strong” is the only choice you have! Please keep us posted on how Mom is doing.

    #6651
    dinawest
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    Well the news was grim. We came full of hope, but one hour into surgery dr.choti came out and said sadly it’s inoperable.

    He now thinks it is gallbladder cancer which is apparently more aggressive than runof the mill bile duct cancer. When he went in he saw seedlings all around the abdominal area. So now there is no longer a cure, we can only attempt to check the progress of the disease.

    Still a lot of unknowns, need to get the results of pathologies, and now need to be transferred to the care of a medical oncologist.

    The doctor would not be drawn much on the ‘how long’ questions, it could be 3 months it could be 3 years.

    Any advice?

    Dina

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