September 26, 2017 at 9:05 pm #92173mbachiniModerator
I can’t add any more than what was listed above, but I can add you, your dad, and your family to my thoughts and prayers. Praying for your strength, comfort and peace.
All my best,
MelindaSeptember 25, 2017 at 5:43 pm #92174positivityParticipant
Thanks so much for sharing as it takes courage. It’s okay to vent as many of us have done the same. Whether it’s certain doctors, lack of treatment options, and the changes we see in our family member over time. It is tough and it’s okay to express your emotions. I would like more options other than chemotherapy and I know it’s a slow process and being worked on, but in the meantime what are we left with? It can take a toll on loved ones, so take your quiet peaceful space away from this to give yourself a sense of calm. It’s not easy, and acceptance is hard, but remember the most important is you are present and a big support…that is what counts.September 24, 2017 at 1:28 am #92175
Thank you Joe and Debbie for your kind words. I am guessing that his bowels have shut down due to the fact that he has not had a BM now in 2 weeks. Today, September 23,2017, he has thrown black stuff, im guessing it is his bowels. On thursday and friday he was very alert and actually had walked to the kitchen table and sat there about an hour. Today (saturday) he is very very weak and has slept most of the day. He is not eaten much if anything today. Im also guessing that the end is not far now. BP has been running low 90/62. We take minute by minute, day by day. My 80 year old mom is getting very tired as well as the restof us. God will give us the strenght we will need to get through this, hearing kind and caring words of encouragement helps also.Thank YouSeptember 23, 2017 at 2:53 pm #92176debnorcalModerator
I don’t have much to add to the excellent, very detailed information provided above. I just want to welcome you to our group and let you know That you, your father, and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. When a cancer such as this is diagnosed at such a late stage, and the patient’s declining health so rapid, it can be so difficult for loved ones to process what’s happening. You are doing all that you can to comfort and care for your dad, and I’m sure he appreciates your loving presence.
DebbieSeptember 21, 2017 at 2:43 pm #92177jpmskiParticipant
From my experience, there’s a good chance your father will ‘pass away’ 2 to 4 days before he really passes away. What I mean is, if he becomes delirious or extremely agitated he’s not likely to come back from that, and he’ll effectively be gone. I tell you that you so you are aware that there really are two different passings.
If he does go this way the hospice people will probably massively sedate him, or at least recommend it. This can all happen very quickly. I think a lot of it depends on where the cancer has spread to in the body.
Sorry you have to go through this. And I don’t think it’s officially a rant until you drop an f bomb or two.
JoeSeptember 21, 2017 at 2:21 pm #92178
Thank you Karen and Hopeseeker for your response and prayers as they are truly needed. This is a very tough trying cancer. It is very hard to watch a person suffer as my dad is doing at this time. I have not looked at the links as of yet but pretty much I have been told of some of the things that have been mentioned. My family and I are getting very exhausted but I do know that his passing will be in God’s time and not ours. It is a little confusing when I would think that his time was near and then he gets that burst of energy. No one should have to go this. I truly think that there is a cure but no one is letting us know, I also truly think that cancer is a big money making business. I’m sorry for stating this but it is sad that We and our family members have to suffer and it cost so much, when a herion addict gets free medication but a cancer patient does not. JUST NOT FAIR! again I am sorry for my rant but I deeply appreciate any Prayers and Concerns for me and my Dad and the rest of my family. May God Bless you all for your kind words and thoughts.September 21, 2017 at 12:58 pm #92179hopeseekerParticipant
I am so sorry you are having to face this at all, but glad that KarenD was able to give you some information. It’s the unknown that makes this process so difficult, but with some knowledge and help it can be much easier.
We are not at this stage with our loved one, but I have done some searching and reading on this site to get a handle on what to expect. All of us die at one point, but with this cancer it seems to be sooner rather then later.
I hope you have found some comfort and that you are able to handle this with grace and ease even though there is nothing easy about it at all….you are in my thoughts and prayers as you face this difficult time.
HopeseekerSeptember 21, 2017 at 12:21 pm #92180karendParticipantSeptember 21, 2017 at 9:30 am #12399
Hi, im new here an new at being a caregiver for my 79 year old father that was diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma cancer stage 4 on june 9, 2017. The doctors gave him 3-6 months to live. What i have read so far i do not see anything about the fluid that builds up in the abdominal area. He has had 14+ liters removed, now has a permanent tube placed in abdomen which i have been the main fluid removal person. He was placed on hospice day after receiving drainage tube, to his wishes. He also has a tumor on his left pelvic bone and cancer in his tailbone. Prior to tube placement he had 10 treatments of radiation and about 5 days of chemo pills, the dr told us this was merely for comfort. The pills made him sicker, which he didnt want, so he stopped and wanted to move towards comfort care. According to our Hospice nurse he his now entering into the dying stages now. At this point 9/21/17, he has not had a bm in about 2 weeks, urine output is about once a day and very little. He is not eating much at all. Allvitals seem good but is disoriented alot. I would just like to know what to look for in the active dying stage. In the last few days it has been touchy, we think he is dying and then he gets a burst of energy that makes us think differently. Just searching and looking for signs.
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