Constant worry
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None of us can benefit from worrying about the future. The RIGHT NOW I’M OK, is a good rule to live by. Worry causes us more distress and causes us to feel worse. If you are doing well for the time being, don’t look for trouble. If not, just worry about the day and not about what MAY happen in the future. It also MAY NOT happen. Think about it when it DOES happen, and concentrate on the here and now and getting well for the now. Thinking too much about the future will make you lose out on the present.
My best to you all.
Linda
Dear Jtoro, I wish there was something I could say or do which would help you banish your worries, but I’m sending lots of good thoughts & positive vibes your way.
Julia x
Hi Jtoro,
I’m so glad that you’re seeing a counselor, that should really help you.
Unfortunately, what Isisman said about my tumors just maintaining is no longer true– they have started giving me trouble, and I’m going to need to start chemo before too long. But this is more than 6 years after my diagnosis and resection.
One thing I’ve found that has always helped me with scary thoughts is to stay close to “here and now” as much as I can. In September I start chemo… next week maybe something could go wrong with my bile drain… but RIGHT NOW, I’m OK, it’s a beautiful summer morning. Next year I may be really, really sick (or even dead)… but RIGHT NOW, I’m OK. Even in the doctor’s waiting room– maybe I’m going to hear horrible news 5 minutes from now… but RIGHT NOW I’m OK. This is not “staying positive” it’s just the truth.
Wishing you all the best,
Kristin
Jtoro, Gosh I feel for you. I come home every day from work and see my husband looking like he is dying, holding his stomach, pain worse every day, never gaining a pound, looking like a walking skeleton and 50 (looks like a 90 yr old man) and kids want me, and house is a mess, and stuff to do and I’m torn in every direction on top of seeing him so deteriorated. here is my beef, we have told all the doctors, gastro, onc, surgeon, etc that the pain is worse daily, SOMETHING IS WRONG and he is NOT getting better but worse over last 3 months. Nothing showed in scans or labs, pain pills going in like candy, I am going to be furious if they find something they ignored that is killing him behind the scenes. They all agreed he needed to see the surgeon and for two months called to get an appt. They had no urgency. We are furious. Granted we believe he is the best, and busy and we have no interest to find another one BUT you need to stay positive, your mind is a powerful thing. Your doctors are happy with where you are in your treatment, praise that as many don’t get those results. I have an email of someone who has been living years with tumors in her that never change and she is enjoying her life and put cc in the back of her mind. Anything can happen with your condition, in a positive way. There have been no two exact cases between anyone that I have found and you can’t read any comment and think you will follow the same path. Pray, live every day to the fullest and only look forward to TOMORROW and thank God for good test results. Her is the email to the person you may want to talk to that is living with tumors that just maintain. Kristin and her email is thesneedle@yahoo.com. As a caregiver, I’m sick to my stomach every day to what is going on and how I’m DOING IT ALL and he is so sick, but I have kids that need to stay positive and not feel the way I do. Stay positive for your kids, because I know school is rough and home stress on top of it can greatly affect their work at school. Hang in there.
jtoro…..It is exciting to hear that your son is visiting Stanford and Berkeley. He has great aspirations. You must be so very proud of him. Congratulations. Jtoro…I am in Berkeley often and I would love to say a quick hello to you. Please, let me know if that is possible. I will e-mail you also.
Hugs coming your way,
MarionI already do attend counseling 2 days a week and am on an antidepressant. I just cannot accept this is happening. For over 4-5 years I complained about stomach issues off and on. It has been 2 months and i’m a little better as far as not crying all day long, but get so sad and upset when I think too far ahead. My son is entering 12th grade and looking at colleges. We are going to take a short family road trip to look at Stanford and Berkerly on Wed. My daughter will just be entering high school. This is all a nightmare.
Honey, from all your posts here, I sense that you are really overwhelmed with your thoughts and fears spinning around and round endlessly in your head. I think you really need to be able to talk about them with someone, more than you can now. I agree with Katja that a therapist could be a big, big help for you.
If you don’t know how to find one, start by asking your doctors and nurses, friends, or even ask your insurance company for a list of therapists (psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers) included in your plan. A nurse helped me find a social worker for my husband– he’s the caregiver, but he’s having a much harder time than me.
Many blessings to you and your family!
Kristin
I understand. It’s like there is a constant heaviness in your heart. I hope that you are blessed with moments of peace and that your burdens will be made light.
Udder Balm seems to be working really well for my dad’s hands and feet.
Do you have professional help – counsellors or a nurse you could speak to? They will have seen this before; perhaps there is medication you could take for depression. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this.
Sending positive thoughts to you and your family.
Get some really good lotion and SLATHER it on then put on socks. I did this and after about a week, I got some relief.
Hang in there. There will be better days.
KRis
I am trying to take each day and live, but having such a difficult time.
Look at my children and husband and fall apart. Taking xeloda, gemzar, and nexavar. Just started with the hands and feet side effects, very painful to walk. Trying to be positive and realize God is in control. How do I truly live each day? I am in constant worry about what is coming ahead.
Jtoro
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