August 11, 2011 at 12:46 am #51274rosehiMember
Hi Jen –
Just stopped by to check in – your dad and mine passed at about the same time and I didn’t expect it but also found it more difficult after dad’s one month anniversary –
Finally gathered myself up and went to the columbarium last week to see my mom and dad – had kept thinking I should go but just couldn’t bear to do it – but when I finally went, it wasn’t that bad – I know they’re happy to be back together again – it’s just hard on us that are left behindAugust 8, 2011 at 11:17 pm #51272lainyMember
Hi Jen, I just caught the Jen train! I love your stories! You are doing fine, yes you are, my goodness what kind of person would you be if you didn’t have these moments. It has been 8 months now for me and I still have them, although not as bad. Teddy is not coming around as much and I find that is ok, I just miss him terribly. I am not lonely just missing him.
I have a feeling your dad was at the Movie and more around you than you even know. I got a cute story sent to me today. Very dear friends of ours from Milwaukee (3 of them) are coming out for Thanksgiving, their 16th year with us.
Yesterday the 3 of them went to the Wisc. State Fair and saw a Shriner’s booth (Teddy was a Shriner). Of course they were collecting money for the Shrine Hospitals and Jeanne said, “Did any of you know Teddy Sardina?”. One man said yes, I knew Teddy. With that Jeanne made a donation and walked away with a happy smile as she felt it was Teddy at the booth saying Hello.
How beautiful that Dad picked out a locket for your Mom. That had to be such a precious moment. I found that it helps to keep telling stories about Teddy as it keeps a part of him alive. So tell your stories over and over and it helps heal a little as well. Sending big daddy hugs to you!August 8, 2011 at 9:06 pm #51273jennifersMember
It’s been over a month since Dad passed away and if I am being completely honest, there are days now that I find so much more difficult then when he first passed. Last weekend would have been Mom and Dad’s 34th Anniversary… the first of many “firsts” that we will all have to face. One of the last days that Dad had any lucid moments, he picked a beautiful locket on a jewellers website as a gift for Mom, which I picked up and we gave on on the weekend. It was incredibly emotional, but wonderful for to to get something from Dad.
I had a complete breakdown (my first since he passed) this weekend – while at the theatre watching Harry Potter, of all things. There’s an incredibly emotional scene with his parents, and it really caught me off guard. I was lucky to be sitting with my best friend in the world, who held my hand and cried right along with me. The next scene was a train station in a place quite like heaven. The last day before Dad become unresponsive, he said he had a train to catch and that he wasn’t exactly sure where it was going, just that it was “going on”, which were there exact words in the movie. I felt Dad sitting with me right then, and had to smile remembering that Dad was so worried that he couldn’t afford the train because it was going somewhere so beautiful. My sweet brother just told him not to worry, the ticket was taken care of. Dad, of course, just said “oh well that’s just perfect”.
I’m babbling a bit, but feeling sad, and haven’t updated in quite a while. I am certainly having my share of “moments” lately, but we are all managing, and doing as well as can be expected, and taking care of each other. As Lainy would say, we are trying our best to get used to our “new normal”. I sure miss my Dad.
I read the posts daily and I’m thinking of you all.
JenJuly 7, 2011 at 1:43 am #51271rosehiMember
Dear Jen –
Thank you for sharing — like you, we’ve been absorbed in preparing for Dad’s funeral this Friday —
Yesterday we sat down with our aunt, uncle and cousin to go over the eulogy our cousin will be giving at the funeral — although this uncle is actually my dad’s brother-in-law, he always respected my father and as he talked, my brother and I learned some things about my dad – it helped us to hear him reminisce and I know it helped my uncle too
As each day passes, it gets closer to dad’s service and I am dreading the finality of it — I know it’s supposed to give one closure but I don’t think so –it’s just one more step in the processJuly 3, 2011 at 3:02 am #51270nancy246Member
Dear Jen, I am glad the service went so well. I understand about being hit hard now. As you prepare for a funeral, you are still doing something for your loved one and when it’s over you feel lost and alone. Hold close to your mom and siblings, they will understand the emptiness. The old adage “time heals” is actually true. It takes time, and your sadness will bring happy memories and they will comfort you and cheer you. Your dad is right there with you, helping you along as he always has. Hugs, NancyJuly 2, 2011 at 8:46 pm #51269andieMember
I’m so glad the funeral went well, I have been thinking of you.
What you are feeling is totally normal, I too was kept busy with different arrangements and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. It still does now and it’s been 4 months. Only today I was in tears, it’s little things that will set me off, such as seeing the “Dads Garden” sign that I brought him for Fathers day years ago or for a split second waking up and thinking he’s still here.
Mom sends her love to you and your Mom, she always asks about the people on the site. Please take care of yourself Jen and remember we are all here for you.
Love and hugs
Andrea xJuly 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm #51268lainyMember
Hi Jen. You are so right that life just kept you too busy to think. This is bittersweetly normal now. It does ease up except for those moments that will come over you now and then. I think not feeling up to par doesn’t help either as I have been under the weather for 4 months (just started feeling better) and during that time I was really getting down and crying a lot but now that I am feeling better the ‘old’ me is returning. Not crying as much. How is your Mom doing? I think about you often even though I know you will be fine. HUGSJuly 2, 2011 at 5:24 am #51267jennifersMember
Dad’s funeral was yesterday… it was perfect. A full house, myself and my siblings giving the eulogy with a few other speakers, Dad’s priest giving a great service and adding personal (and funny) stories of Dad. We all made it through, and today it has hit me… my sweet and wonderful Daddy is gone. I’m so sad I knew it would eventually happen, but we were so busy right after he passed, and we’ve been telling people for so long that we’re all okay so it seemed like we were. I know I still am, but I miss him so much. I’m also really sick, and have been since the day he passed away. Feeling so crummy and not being able to sleep at all is probably adding to my emotional state a bit, but I feel like today is the first time I’ve really realized that he’s actually gone. I do know he’s in a better place, and at peace, which does help.
I am thinking of you all.
JenJuly 1, 2011 at 10:05 am #51266micsylMember
I have been away from the board for a while, I am so saddened to hear of the passing of your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May your dear dad rest in peace now.
I know too well the pain of losing a beloved father – my heart is with you, Jen.
MichelleJune 28, 2011 at 11:38 pm #51265darlaParticipant
I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad is now at peace and no longer suffering. He will always be with you in your heart and memories. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.
DarlaJune 28, 2011 at 8:03 pm #51264katieloumattMember
Sending you my deepest sympathy on the loss of your darling Dad. Thinking of you and your family in the days and weeks ahead.
KatieJune 27, 2011 at 10:33 pm #51263hollandgMember
My condolences to you and your family at this difficult time for you all. Look after yourself.
GerryJune 27, 2011 at 3:30 pm #51262andieMember
Thinking of you and all your family at this heartbreaking time. You all did your Dad proud and showed amazing strength and courage throughout this difficult journey. I’m sure your Dad is looking down on you all with such love and pride.
You cannot see or touch me,
But I’m standing next to you,
Your tears can only hurt me,
Your sadness makes me blue,
Be brave and show a smiling face,
Let not your grief show through,
I love you from a different place,
Yet I’m standing next to you.
Our Dads will always be by our side Jen.
Love and hugs
Andrea xxJune 27, 2011 at 12:58 am #51259nancy246Member
Dearest Jen, So saddened to hear of your dad’s passing. Send my condolences to all of your family. Your dad has left you in body but not in spirit; your beautiful relationship will be with you forever. I wish I could lessen the pain for you. We are here. Big hugs from Tamia and I. Love Nancy.June 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm #51261gavinModerator
I am so very sorry indeed to hear of your dads passing, please accept my sincerest condolences. You did everything possible that you could for your dad and you were always there by his side throughout all of this. My thoughts are with you and your family right now.
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