January 19, 2011 at 8:52 am #46280nancy246Participant
Kris was so lucky to have you and you her. Yours is a wonderful love story that was put to the ultimate challenge and survived. I have not been on this board long so have just gotten to know Kris through her writings. She was an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your life with us. NancyJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:32 am #46279marionsModerator
Hans….everything is so very Kris and so very Hans, and so very unique to both of you. Your writing is so similar to that of Kris…makes you smile, cry, and laugh. And, the picture on our site is precious of Kris, because all of her mischievousness is shining through.
Hugs are coming your way,
MarionJanuary 18, 2011 at 9:31 pm #46278monkeybuttParticipant
It’s been two weeks precisely since Kris passed away, and almost one week since I returned to Sweden with her ashes.
Things are starting to come together fairly well here. The wheels have been set in motion with German, Swedish and American authorities, and so far it looks like the procedures will run parallell rather than one having to wait for another. The plans are starting to come together for a funeral service here in Kalmar also. It will be simple enough, but probably not quite as small as I had thought.
I’ve booked the small chappel where Kris was planning for us to renew our vows (I’m not quite sure if she really knew it is actually a funeral chappel…) for the 31st of January, and I’m starting to look at what I want the service to be like. One of my absolute favourite pictures of Kris is actually the one she has as her profile picture in the “faces” section, taken a few years ago during a visit to Glasgow, and I’ll try to have it enlarged enough to put next to the urn at the service, if it comes out clear enough. And I’m trying to pick a Jimmy Buffet song or two to play. (Before we moved in with eachother she dumped me about once a month, and one time she said good bye with a personal selection of Buffet songs where she had written little comments about what certain songs meant to her and why they reminded her of us. I think there is one or two in there that might do nicely.)
Still no papers from the US embassy so I don’t know if getting a travelling permit for her ashes will be difficult or not.
I’ve started going through her stuff bit by bit, and it’s more difficult and emotional than I had thought. A bit like an archaeological expedithion to our relationship. And I haven’t even started on any of the difficult stuff yet…
I was up at my office the other day and everyone was all hugs and tears which felt really good because I’ve allways shared so much of what was going on with Kris with my colleagues. Especially one whos mother passed away from CC a year ago – what are the odds of that? – we had a good cry together now.
The more I think about Kris and me the more it strikes me how short our time togehter was, but how intense it was! We moved in with eachother four and a half years ago, and although we had been dating for more than three years that’s when our life together really started. Four and a half years. But it feels like a whole lifetime.January 12, 2011 at 2:38 am #46277highsmithMember
I never, personally, emailed or spoke with Kris, but she was light and bright and brings much hope to all of us touched by cc. I hope she is setting heaven on fire with her BBQ and margs! It took enormous care and compassion to share Kris’s final day. I think she really has been an inspiration. May peace be with you in the coming days.
StaceyJanuary 12, 2011 at 2:04 am #46276kathybMember
Thank you Hans, for taking such good care of “our” Kris. An amazing woman.
My sympathy goes out to you, her family and friends.
KathyJanuary 11, 2011 at 6:59 pm #46275katjaMember
Thank you so much for continuing to post. I’m amazed by your strength and Kris’ spirit. There are so many of us thinking of you all around the world.
I remember it so tickled me when Kris was talking about the cloud of green CC gas that followed her around.
KateJanuary 11, 2011 at 6:17 pm #46274nur1954Participant
Hans – I’m glad you are finally able to return back to Sweden with Kris. Please keep us posted when you feel up to it. I would love to know when her ashes will be spread into the ocean. I don’t live far from the Atlantic Ocean here in NJ and would love to be at the ocean’s edge when that happens. If you can, let us know. Have a safe journey – NancyJanuary 11, 2011 at 5:56 pm #46273marylloydParticipant
Have a safe trip home. We really appreciate your staying in touch through these difficult days. Often after we lose one of our good friends we never hear from the family again and it is wonderful that you feel free to come here and share your thoughts and activities with us. It helps us to take part and memorialize Kris even though we can’t physically be there for you and her family. It’s wonderful to have such good friends and a wonderful family to help you. Memories of Kris are endless. I have been playing back a lot of them in my mind lately. I always enjoyed her banter with Peter. They had a special connection. I hope they have met and are having a party right now along with all of our other dear friends! Take care of yourself Hans and thank-you again for keeping in touch. Love, MaryJanuary 11, 2011 at 11:53 am #46272monkeybuttParticipant
Yes, I remember she wasn’t too happy about the beard…
The weight thing was odd though, because when she was on chemo about a year ago (I imagine the post was probably about that time) the steroids would make her regularly gain about a pound per week, which kind of defied expectations.
Weight remained difficult. During the two-three months or so before the end she lost a lot of muscle but retained lots and lots of water. Her weight remained perfectly normal, but her shoulders and arms were mere skin and bones, and we speculated a lot about what her “real” weight without the excess fluid might be…
I was very, very touched to see the two threads about Kris in the “in memory” section. I hadn’t seen those until last night.
The cremation took place yesterday. I spoke to the undertaker on the phone and we’ve agreed on meeting in a hotel at the airport Wednesday morning so he can give me her ashes and the paper work I need to transport them. Then we fly to Copenhagen where another wonderful friend is picking us up to drive me and Kris home…
Barbara has made a little shrine where I can light a candle for Kris. There is a purple hyacinth, a small guardian statuette that Kris originally had given to her, and which she sent back to Kris in the clinic to watch over her, and two photos of Kris from Glasgow in the good old days when the world was brighter and she was ready to take it by storm… In every picture I see of her from those days she always has the same expression – her whole face is smiling and she is barely able to contain an flood of giggles.January 11, 2011 at 1:05 am #46271betsyParticipant
Here is one of my favorite Kris posts: (one of many!)
“Steroids are such potent drugs. I put on so much weight and had my very own goatee and neck/back hair. I turned into the Yeti…which was funny since I was completely thinning out on my head, but my beard was coming in nicely”.
BetsyJanuary 10, 2011 at 5:41 pm #46270lalupesParticipant
Hans – thank you for everything you have done & are doing!! & Andrea – WELCOME. I so wish we could have met in different circumstances but I’m a sister, too & my heart goes out to you so much.
Please visit us often & scream, vent, cry & – ultimately – laugh. We’re here for you, too.
Julia xJanuary 10, 2011 at 6:34 am #46269saraMember
You gave everyone in this community an amazing gift by sharing such personal moments with us. Thank you. While the details are heartbreaking to read, your statement that Kris passed away with hope had me smiling through the tears. I’ve never had the honor or pleasure of meeting you and Kris, but you have welcomed us into your lives and feel very much a part of our families. I remember talking to Kris years ago about Kelly Lester, and how much Kris enjoyed reading Kelly’s blog because of Kelly’s sarcasm. I always felt the same way about Kris, particularly when she was asking about which cookie jar would work best. Such an amazing woman with an amazing attitude and sense of humor. I think you’re right – Heaven needed her spice to make things more interesting up there.
We all love you very much, and wish we could be there to stand beside you in person. Hopefully the love and support coming from all over the world will help sustain you in the coming days and months.
Sara & countless others who have been touched by your livesJanuary 9, 2011 at 10:18 pm #46268darlaParticipant
As Kris’s sister, you know personally what a great and stong person she was. You are so right, there are so many that loved & cared about her and will miss her, too. I agree, she was so very lucky to have Hans in her life. As lucky as he was to have her in his. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love & Hugs To All Of You,
DarlaJanuary 9, 2011 at 10:06 pm #46267luckyladybirdParticipant
Hans, my sister was so lucky to have you in her life. This means that I too am very lucky. I know that we have spoke over the phone concerning her final days, but to read about it ….. so powerful. I MISS HER! Obviously I am not the only one.January 9, 2011 at 10:01 pm #46266darlaParticipant
I just came on and saw this. And once again I must thank you for posting these wonderful things. It has made me smile. I think this must have been posted before I joined the board in September ’08. It is typical Kris and I can picture her now doing just that. I think you are right. God got bored.
As for reading her posts now, I think she would be just fine with that and I am sure it will be of much comfort to you right now.
I am sure Joyce is right and she is rocking everyone’s world in heaven now. What a great thought.
Love & Hugs,
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