Dont want to believe it!!!!!!

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Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • February 4, 2011 at 10:21 am #47326
    mamamia
    Spectator

    Thanks to you all. I definitely feel better after getting all my thoughts out.

    I didnt think i would have been as able as i am to carry on day to day, but as you have said, strength comes from nowhere at these times. My mum is doing remarkable, i could not be prouder of her.

    Yesterday when she went to visit the hospice, mum was astonished by how nice it was. I suppose everyone has a vision of what they are about to walk into, but she seems very impressed. The nurses were great, ang gave alot of information which has helped. I dont know what mums wishes are for nearer the time, but its not something i really want to ask yet.

    Can i ask you…………for the first time, mum has had pain (not severe) in kidney area. On tue mum started chemo (gemzar) and the pain started yesterday. Could this be from chemo, or is it a result of tumor. I understand no one wants to be definate on answers, but just a little insight would be appreciated.

    Thanks again everyone, you have been a tower of strength.

    Hope today is a good one for you all.

    Chelle

    February 3, 2011 at 2:02 pm #47325
    gavin
    Moderator

    Dear Mamamia,

    I am so very sorry to hear about your mum. Whilst it is good to hear from you again, I so wish that you had some better news to share with us. I know the feeling of hearing the word terminal and I felt horrible too when my dad was told that. So please, you don’t need to apologise to us all for having a rant. If it helps, keep coming here and ranting and screaming as we know what you are going through and what it feels like.

    My dad had a Mac nurse from his diagnosis and she was great. She did so much for him and would come see him at home when ever he needed her and was always just a phone call away. She will be able to help with meds and stuff, is your mum taking any medication right now for her pain? My dad used to get pain in the same area as your mum and he took solpadols 4 times a day. As for the nowel movements, is your mum taking any type of laxatives for this? Again, that is something that my dad did and he took Lactulose morning and night and that helped a lot. If you speak with the Mac nurse she will be able to help with all of this.

    Lainy has given you some good ideas with foods to eat etc. I spoke with my dads GI Specialist when he was having his digestive issues and he recommended eating foods that were easier for the body to break down and one he reccomended was minced beef, soups and the foods that Lainy has already said to you.

    You are doing a great job for your mum right now and I know how much that will mean to her. And please come here as much as you want and we will always be here for you.

    My best wishes to you and your mum,

    Gavin

    February 3, 2011 at 1:50 pm #47324
    roma35
    Member

    Im so sorry for what you are going through, it seems you have an amazing mom and your kids an amazing grandmother. Shes way to young to leave you all, and it isnt fair. My son was 7 when my dad was diagnosed, and 8 when he passed, so he was young, but not too young to forget his grandpa when he was sick. He remembers many sick days, even the day he died(all 6 of his grandchildren were with him) he also however remembers “healthy” grandpa. The grandfather in the garden, the grandfather showing up unexpectedly in our kitchen(we were neighbors) the grandfather buying a lemonade at his lemonade stand and paying with a $20.00 and saying keep the change. We have managed to keep his memory alive by talking about him constantly. I thought his memory to my son and neices and nephew would be tainted by the memories of him being sick, but thats not the case, they dont focus on that, they focus on the healthy grandpa memories. I hope your kids can give you strength during this period and in the future, I would have had a much more difficult time without my son and neices and nephew. Peace to you and your family in this very difficult time.
    xoxo
    Barbara

    February 3, 2011 at 12:51 pm #47323
    joolz822
    Member

    It’s difficult to tell you to be strong when your world is crashing around you but somehow we all find the strength to carry on. Don’t forget venting and having mini-melt downs are very important too. You can’t keep the bad feelings bottled up. Not healthy for you and your loved ones.

    As Lainy said, do tell the Nurses about your Mom’s pain. There is no reason why she should have any.

    February 3, 2011 at 11:35 am #47322
    lainy
    Spectator

    Mamamia, have you told the Nurse about Mom’s pain and bowel problems? There is something for everything now and she should be kept pretty comfortable. You willl see as time goes on that more and more foods will not agree with her. When Teddy was at that point I gave him comfort foods, like a chicken stew, homemade soups, and he ate a lot of scrambled eggs. You have to kind of hunt and peck until you find something that agrees with her. I would also ask the Nurse about pain pills. As you go along now, comfort is the key word. You are strong and you can be strong for your Mom. I found it helps to keep writing on this site as then you don’t feel so alone in this CC World.

    February 3, 2011 at 10:27 am #47321
    mamamia
    Spectator

    Thanks for your replies.

    I do remember speaking to you both previously, you really do have amazing strength.

    I am trying very hard for my kids, my mum,dad and brother to keep a positive approach. I don’t want to waste this time feeling sorry for myself, or being glum. My mum has given us all so much strength in the way she has been dealing with things which is great.
    Today she is meeting the McMillan nurses to talk over support etc. Seems as though everything is going 100mph. It unbelievable, that only a few months ago we were a normal family.

    My kids are aware that mum is unwell, and my oldest who is 10 knows that she has cancer, but we haven’t went into much detail. My mum was given 2 weeks to live before Christmas, which was gut wrenching, we seemed to be living on a knife edge, thankfully she got through and made a really remarkable recovery.

    She has a fair bit of constant pain under her ribs, and occassionally into her back.
    She feels very tired
    Cant eat spicy food as it aggrivates her
    Her bowels arent moving as normal as they had been

    i suppose this is all to be expected.

    Thanks again for all th support you offer here. It is great to be able to vent my feelings outwith family. I hate burdening them, so keep it inside so as not to upset anyone. They are all probably the exact same,

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    February 3, 2011 at 10:07 am #47320
    andie
    Spectator

    Dear Mamamia,

    My Dad too is terminal. It is hard, very hard and no words anyone says will help. My son is 9 and loves his Grandad to bits, we haven’t told him yet how seriously ill Dad is. Dad is very jaundiced but he has been since February so to my son this is normal now. Luckily Dad is pain free but my son knows Grandad can’t play football any more so he is happy to play cards, watch DVDs etc, he has adjusted very well, infact better than I have.

    Everybody handles things different but I wake up every morning wondering whether Dad will be worse or in pain today and I go to bed dreading what the next day will bring, this is why I haven’t told my 9 year old as I don’t want him worrying the same.

    My Dad never had Chemo as his bile level was always too high. Even without any treatment he is still with us nearly a year after his symptoms started. He has been told twice he only had a few months to live and twice now he as outlived those timescales.

    You will find the strength from somewhere to carry on and put on a happy face, for your Moms sake. I find my strength from my son. He helps us to maintain a new normal. I really do think a positive attitude helps.

    Sending best wishes to you and your Mom.

    February 2, 2011 at 10:57 pm #47319
    lainy
    Spectator

    Dear Mamamia, I am so terribly sorry. As for the children a book on the subject may help and then again kids are so smart and they could end up being a big comfort to you. Try real hard to be strong so that you can use this time to make some ‘precious moments’. My prayers and thoughts are coming your way.

    February 2, 2011 at 10:32 pm #4701
    mamamia
    Spectator

    Hi all
    I posted a while ago, but let me update.
    Mum was admitted to hospital after becoming severely jaundice in november. After multiple tests, scans etc, they found tumor in bile duct. They managed to fit stent, and relieve alot of the symptoms, we had a great christmas with mum at home. She then was taken in again to have liver and pancreas biopsy, which she didnt tolerate too well.

    Anyway, they foud the main cancer is in pancreas, and has now spread to the liver.

    She started chemo (gemzar) yesterday. They have told us they cant operate, and that the cancer is terminal.

    I cant deal with the fact im going to lose her. I love her so so much. WHY. She is my only truest friend i have. The only person who knows me, knows my feelings. I cant begin to think of how this must be tearing her up inside.

    Sorry, just needed a rant.

    My 3 kids dont know yet, and i cant even start thinking of how to tell them. They are all still very young and love their gran more than words can say,

    What a horrible horrible disease. I feel like shouting and screaming though it wont change a dam thing, im still going to lose the the most amazing woman i could ever possibly know.

    I just wish i could take her place. I would give anything for mum to be here with us in the way i thought she always would be. She is only 58.

    Love you mum

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