End of life

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 22 total)
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  • #90458
    rangani
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for your responses. It so helps to know there is support out there and people who understand what we are going through. Will be taking all your comments on board to help make it through these days
    Bless you all

    #90457
    middlesister1
    Moderator

    Hello,
    I’m not sure if this will help, but my mother can not tolerate opioids so when she had severe pain, they prescribed fentanyl patches. I was worried about side effects and asked work colleagues. Response from a few was that when they had family members in end stage cancer (not CC), switching from morphine to fentanyl not only kept the pain in check, but allowed their loved ones to be more lucid at the end and gave them time to talk and gave them some more quality time together.

    Love and hugs,
    Catherine

    #90456
    marions
    Moderator

    Jack…..I learned that it is difficult to predict timing of passing, yellowing of skin as well as swelling are a normal occurrence with end stage liver disease; however pain should be and can be addressed with medication. Yes, there is a trade-off in regards to lucidity, but ultimately comfort and pain free is the goal.

    My heart is with,

    Hugs,
    Marion

    #90455
    marions
    Moderator

    Rangani…..you can gently moisten your Mom’s lips with cotton swab and do it often. Should limbs appear awkward, gently move into a better position, speak in a low voice, she can hear you.

    My heart is with you,
    Hugs,
    Marion

    #90454
    jpmski
    Participant

    Rangani,

    I don’t know what to tell here, it’s not a good experience. Obviously, I would prefer to not have the memories of my mother withering away, but it is what it is and you’re not going to leave them alone. So what choice do you have but to bare witness?

    I would say don’t leave any “bullets in the gun”, if there’s something you want to talk about with her, do it. Good or bad, because some of this is about you too.

    If you want a good idea where your mother is in the passing phases, the hospice people can probably tell you within plus or minus a couple of days.

    Joe

    #90453
    lainy
    Member

    Dear Rangani, I am so sorry to read about your Mum. I have a list of 10 Signs the End is Near and would be happy to email them to you if you send me your email address. It is really helpful and my husband followed it pretty closely. Hoping for a peaceful journey for your dear Mum.

    #90452
    rangani
    Participant

    My mum is at end stage, age 86. We have also been giving palliative care only. She has not had pain as yet, but was on sedatives and anti anxiety meds. Last few days she has only been taking liquids. Yesterday no liquids and no meds, but seems calm and no pain. Susan, Joe, do you have any advice for me on end stage signs? What to expect? It is hard to see her and know she is dehydrated. She is at home with us.

    #90451
    darla
    Participant

    Dear Joe,
    .
    I am so sorry to learn that your mom passed away. You have my deepest sympathy. Know that I am thinking of you and your family.

    Darla

    #90450
    jpmski
    Participant

    Jack,

    My mother passed away last month. If I can figure out how to send you a message directly I will, and give you my two cents.

    Joe

    #90449
    lainy
    Member

    Dear Jack, I just emailed you the list. Please let me know that you received it. I pray for a comfortable journey for Diane and you never know how strong you are until “strong” is the only choice you have! You can email me anytime you feel the need. You are not alone.

    #90448
    jgaugler
    Member

    Thank you for the prayers and kind thoughts.

    Its amazing as I read these messages how they are so close to our situation. Diane will have 2-3-4 days that she is really hurting and then the next day a lot better.

    Her eyes have turned yellow and skin color has changed. Her face and legs, ankles, feet are swollen. They hurt a lot also. Her stomach hurts, swollen. The hospice nurse says its could be a few weeks or longer or sooner?

    Are these things normal?

    I would love have the list of things to look for towards the end.

    Thanks
    Jack

    #90447
    jgaugler
    Member

    Thank you for the prayers and kind thoughts.

    Its amazing as I read these messages how they are so close to our situation. Diane will have 2-3-4 days that she is really hurting and then the next day a lot better.

    Her eyes have turned yellow and skin color has changed. Her face and legs, ankles, feet are swollen. They hurt a lot also. Her stomach hurts, swollen. The hospice nurse says its could be a few weeks or longer or sooner?

    Are these things normal?

    I would love have the list of things to look for towards the end.

    Thanks
    Jack

    #90445
    mbachini
    Moderator

    Dear Jack,

    I am sending prayers for you and Diane for peace, comfort and God’s strength to get you through this difficult time. I am glad you have hospice and that she is relatively without pain and is comfortable.

    Thinking of you,
    Melinda

    #90444
    middlesister1
    Moderator

    Dear Jack,

    I’m sorry this disease has put you and Diane in this place. I’m glad she’s comfortable, and hope you can still experience some happiness and peace in the time you have together. Just the other day, Pat (Hercules) posted “don’t count the days, but make the days count”. I thought it was a motto to try and live by even for those who may be fortunate enough to have many days left.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Diane

    Catherine

    #90446
    jgaugler
    Member

    Hi Susan,

    My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

    My wife Diane has stopped chemo a few months back because the cancer is back and growing. Hospice comes out three times aweek to our home. They have done a great job of keeping her comfortable and mostly pain free or what ever that really is.

    One day at a time walking with God is the best advise I can give.

    Thank you everyone for this blog.

    Best Regards
    Jack

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