End of the Road
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Crystal,
I lost my mom in August 2008 and a poem someone else posted helped me a lot, here is the link to the post:
http://www.cholangiocarcinoma.org/punbb/viewtopic.php?id=2690
Patty
Dear Crystal,
I am so sorry for your loss. And I have no words of comfort as I am in your same boat. I don’t believe my mom is gone. Just be thankful you were able to give your mom a grandchild that she was able to see and enjoy, even if for a short time. You know how she enjoyed holding her and just seeing all of your babys firsts.I thank you Pam for your advice. I keep telling my daughter this is the easy part, but in a couple of weeks, everyone elses life will go one. However, that is when it will get difficult.
Then when I think about how difficult this could be I think I was fortunate to spend 40 years with my mom. And as hard as this was on my mother, she couldn’t imagine having to go through watching me or my daughter suffer through this. So to the other Pam, I want you to know I think of you and your daughter daily and my thoughts and prayers are with you both.
Crystal, my prayers are also with you and your family. Losing a mom is really tough. Just do what you can to stay positive and loving. You’re allowed to have your bad days. Just keep doing those things you know your mom would have done.
Crystal,
My heartfelt condolences for your loss. A lot of us are going through similar journeys albeit at different stages. We are therefore with you in a way.You are right about this forum, it’s love in action and is very humbling. I am sure you will be able to take some strength from it.
Adamek.
Dear Crystal,
I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your mom. Take comfort in knowing that she is now at peace and in a better place. She will continue to watch over you and she will always be in your heart. My husband was diagnosed over three years ago at age 55. We take one day at a time and he continues to fight this terrible disease. He amazes me with his courage and strength. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Sending lots of hugs your way, PeggyP
Dear Crystal,
You asked how long my daughter has been living with this cancer. She was diagnosed Aug. 29, 2011. It has really turned our world upside down. Last night she had a really bad time. Her boyfriend came over and they were outside for awhile. After they had been in for a short time (I was on the computer) I noticed her sniffing. I asked her why she was sniffing because I was worrried she was getting sick. She burst into tears and said everything hit her yesterday. She is usually so strong. She kept crying and saying she didn’t want to die. It broke my heart so much. She has always been the best daughter. Never gave us one bit of trouble. It is so unfair anybody has to go through this. I pray every day for a miracle. Hug your child often and tell her that you love her. That is what she will remember. I am sorry to have gone on and on when you have your own grief to deal with. Take care. I hope each day gets easier for you.Love, Pam
Dear Crystal,
Welcome to the site. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mother, please accept my sincere condolences. I know the pain that your feeling right now as I felt the same when my dad lost his fight with this cancer. Yes it hurts, but the pain does lessen with time. I still miss my dad today and I know that I always will. I do hope that you will keep coming back here as we all know how you feel right now and what you are going through. We will all help you if we can and we care.
My best wishes to you and your family,
Gavin
Crystal, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you and your family, I can only imagine what you are going through. My grandmother was just diagnosed last week. I am completely devastated, I cannot believe how many people are diagnosed with this rare form of cancer. Stay strong, especially for your precious baby…
Crystal,
I lost my Mom on April 3, 2009 so I am coming up on the three year anniversary of her death. I still think of her every day but gradually the good memories are starting to be the ones I remember first.
This next stage of your journey may be the hardest yet. Grieving has no timetable and no two people will grieve in the same way. I mistakenly thought that the “anticipatory grief” I felt as Mom progressed through her illness would somehow prepare me for her actual death. It didn’t. As first I was more or less numb, holding everything together….making funeral arrangements, writing numerous thank you notes….I even gave my Mom’s eulogy and my Dad sang at her funeral. Then about two months after her death if was as if the ceiling fell in on me. I HAD LOST MY MOM!!! I felt that the world should stop and acknowledge my pain! Unfortunately most of the rest of the world had “moved” on by that time and I felt very alone. I found that grieving is very hard work but a work that must be dealt with and confronted. I’m now at the point where I feel as though I’ve “come out the other side of the tunnel”. My memories are still vivid but the happier ones seem to come to mind first. I can still be reduced to tears pasing someone wearing my Mom’s perfume in a store but each day is a little easier.
My Mom was an amazing woman and I am her legacy.
You will get through this next stage in your life. You are your Mom’s legacy and I feel sure you will be a shining example of all she taught you with your child.
The hardest part of the first year are all of the “firsts”. Each will be painful but there will be rememberences of joy, love and laughter.
Come here often. We are all here for you!
Hugs!
PamCrystal: My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in the loss of your mom. A parents death is never easy to deal with no matter what age you are. I lost my father due to pancreatic cancer at age 22 and my mom due to a massive brain stem stroke at age 45, and it was hard, just as hard for both of them. My husband has been battling CC for the past three years so I know first hand what you went through with your mom.
If there is a blessing in your mom’s passing it is that she is no longer suffering.
Your 1 year old will be fine, most likely will not remember your tears in the years to come. You may want to hold her close and reassure her that you are OK, just sad, and that your tears are “angel rain” for someone you love.
Please continue to come to this site – it will help you to heal as you share your experiences with what your mom went through with others who are going through the same things your mom did. We are all here for one another, giving guidance when we can, moral support, love, etc.
Go with God,
Hugs,
MargaretThank you Marion,
I just want to know when this gets easier. I am blessed to have a 1year old running around but I’m afraid of the effects it might have on her. I’m very irritable lately and when I cry she just stares at me. Any idea what effect, if any this might have on a 1 year old?
Thanks!!
-crystalPam,
I am so sorry about your daughter! How long has she been living with this? I myself am 25 years old and couldn’t imagine going through what my mother went through. My prayers go out to your family and especially for strength. Sometimes you have to dig deep but it’s there. I’m still digging myself, now that my mother is not with us anymore. Definitely the harder thing I’ve ever been through and me being then only one that gave her a grand baby. It hurts me on another level.
-crystalDear Crystal,
I am so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place if you want support or just need to ask a question. There are so many dear people that have come together to help one another on this site. My daughter who is 25 is suffering from this disease. I find a great deal of comfort from this site and I hope you do too. Take care and God bless you.
-Pam
Crystal…welcome to our site and please, accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your dear Mom. May your heart begin to heal…one day at a time. Please, know that we are here for you and that any questions you may have gladly will be answered to the best of our knowledge and that we support each other always.
Hugs and much love,
Marion
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