End stage- please help
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Hana,
I would try and respect your Dad’s wishes to try and have the wedding.
Is there something you can do to try and alleviate his pain? Pain is very tiring on the body. Perhaps his doctors could recommend something?
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
PamHana,
I too am so sorry to hear what your Dad and your family are going through. I have to agree with Janet to be flexible at this point. I would not postpone the wedding if that is his wish. It sounds as if this is very important to him. I am hoping that things will work out as he wants them to.
Darla
Thank you Janet for your kind words. For now, we are planning on having the wedding. My dad will not be able to attend but he says he will feel much more at peace to know that I am married and have started a family of my own. My dad is quite the family man himself. I don’t know why but he says that my wedding is the only thing keeping him alive right now and he is determined to make it to next Tuesday. We are just so worried what would happen if he doesn’t make the next seven days. It is just really hard because he rarely eats or drinks and is in constant pain. He can’t really move around either and lies in bed 24/7. He is also having difficulty talking. While physicaly he is very weak, his mind is 100% alert when he is awake.
Hana,I am so sorry for what you,your dad and family are going through.I am inclined to say dont postpone the wedding,I dont know if your dad will be able to go to it but you could involve him by coming to him,gathering with him after the wedding,just the family maybe.You do need to have a flexible plan in case he gets much worse. Good luck Janet
Hello. I am writing from Seoul Korea. I found this site a few weeks ago and I feel like I finally found a lifeline. My dad has been diagnosed with CC about 5 months ago. He seemed to be responding to chemo pretty well until about a few weeks ago when the Doctors inserted two tubes to relieve his jaundice. Everything went downhill from this surgery. He left the hospital unable to walk and in extreme pain. He stopped chemo since then. As of today, my dad is unable to walk, eats very very little and lies down the bed except to use the bathroom which he can’t go alone. He only allows my mom to help him in the bathroom. At this point, the doctor said there is nothing more they can do but to make him as comfortable as possible. He have stopped vertually all medication as there is no purpose to them anymore. I love my dad so much. He is such a strong man and seeing him in pain like this makes my blood boil. I hate cancer and what is has done to my dear dad who has worked so hard and earnestly his whole life to take care of his family. He certainly does not deserve this.
I am supposed to get married next Tuesday, exactly a week away from today in Seoul. My entire family wants to postpone the wedding except for my dad who is adament that he will survive until then. He says that my wedding is the only thing that is going for him right now. Me and my mom just don’t know what to do. I read from some people’s posts that the patient chooses when to leave this world. Maybe my dad will make it to the wedding. Maybe not. I don’t know and I don’t know what to do. God forbid if he passes away before the wedding, we are planning on cancelling it. Its just right now everything is on loose strings.
I know this sounds strange but I really want to know if my dad can make it in the next week. As of yesturday, he can’t control his bladder. What does this mean? I know the end is near but would like to know more signs of what to look at. Currently it is just me and my mom taking care of him. It is just so difficult to see him suffer like this and I really wonder how much more he will be able to take the pain without eating or drinking very little water…
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