feel like im going crazy
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Thank you everybody,just wanted to let everybody know some things that happened since i posted last,well,i was doing some cleaning,just going through some totes we had,i had no clue what was in them,then i found pictures of george from years befor he got sick,wow,what a good feeling i got,i do believe i was led to that tote..Another thing,at 12:30 this morning,i was watching a movie,sitting in georges recliner,when all of the sudden i got this overwhelming urge to pop a bag of pop corn,thats not the strange part,the thing is,i CANT STAND pop corn,never really had a taste for it,could;nt even stand to be in the same room when it was popping,the smell just took my breath away,like asma,i could only think,ok,george loved his popcorn,especially while watching movies,and he was here with me and wanted some,yes,i did pop it and i ate the WHOLE bag….I guess my George got hungry…and ate through me..much love and hugs. lynn
Dear Lynn
I’m in exactly the same situation. My husband had passed away mid october and last week of his life keeps replaying in my mind as well, especially his last day, as it was the most gruesome. Just last night saw a dream with him and he was sick in my dream as well. I had read that eventually memories will be of a happier times, as well as dreams about him, but it hadn’t so far. Please know that you are not alone.
It’s been 2.5 months since his passing and some days are better than others. It seems that I get better handle of situation and then phone call from some old friend or customer, who didn’t know about his passing and I fall apart again. But overall I think I’m handling it better than I expected. Sorry to talk about me, but my point is that many of us had similar thoughts and feelings, that are normal, and hopefully it will slowly improve for all of us! Sincerely, AllaDear Lynn,
I so know and understand what you are feeling and going through. Unfortunately it is a process that all of us who have lost someone we loved has or are still going through.
I totally agree with all that Karen posted above. She said it well. Right now I am sure it is hard for you to imagine that the pain will ever lessen, but it is true that in time the good memories that we are so lucky to have will help to easy some of the pain. And yes, although none of this is easy, it does make us stronger.
We are all here to help & support you so please keep posting your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes just being able to share honestly with others who truely understand does help.
With Lots of Love & Hugs,
DarlaI am very sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I am sending huge hugs your way. I think the only thing that can mend your broken heart is time. Hopefully, you will wake up one day with peace in your heart and enjoy life again like you so deserve. Lots of love to you.
-Pam
Sweet Lynn,
So many of us who have truly loved another person can so identify with the terrible hole in your heart. I too kept replaying the end times of my darling’s transition for a long time and then over time (a very long time) I realized that all the happier, more joy-filled times starting taking over. For whatever reason we have to travel through this grief and we do come out somewhat stronger. The hole will never go away – why should it, we had a fantastic life together. But you start to feel gratitude for being one of the fortunate souls that was able to experience such love. I hold you in healing energies and prayers.
Peace be,
KarenLynn,
I remember after my Mom died, I relived her last few days over and over in my mind. Did I do all the right things? Was she afraid ? With time I now can relive it with peace. I am praying for you.
LisaOh, Lynn, you are perfectly normal. Like Marion says, the deeper we loved the harder the grief. It is going to take time but I promise you in time the best memories will overtake the bad ones. Keep sitting in the recliner especially if it brings you comfort. I used to spray Teddy’s cologne around and slept hugging his pillow. We all understand here and we are all here for you. Sending you a ton of hugs and love.
Lynn,
I am here to support you. Your loved one was taken away. You will continue to cry and must do so. Crazy – no – you are a caring person. I wish I could give you a hug in person. My Mom’s passing was so difficult for me and will always be. The illness came on fast and took her fast. I was lucky to have her as my Mom. Continue to post and let us know how you are. It’s okay
to cry.i am trying so hard to cope,im trying so hard to think about the george befor he got sick,but all i see all day and night is the last precious week i had with him,it keeps playing like a dvd in my mind,it wont stop,i try to stay busy,but that dont last,i just curl up in his recliner and cry cry cry…..
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