feeling guilty for not posting lately..wish me luck
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Deb
Just thinking of you tonight! I don’t know if this makes sense, but I think part of the anxiety comes from replaying all of the overwhelming fear and anxiety when going through everything in the very beginning. Each CT scan brings up ALL of those same feelings. So, I think to myself “now how is this time different”? It’s different for you because it’s been two years!!! I keep telling myself that, though the feelings are exactly the same, the circumstances are much different. What I feel then is out of propotion to the reality of the situation. Just for me to understand where my feelings are coming from just seems to help. I hope that makes some sense!
Remember to try to stay in the moment and not go to the “what if” places. Boy, that can really bring on the anxiety! And plan a celebration for the good news that you’re going to receive…I’ve already planned mine!!!
Wishing the very best news for you tomorrow Deb!!!!!!!!!!!
Jean
Deb,
Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow & in the future. That goes for all the rest of you too.
Hugs,
DarlaThank God we do have each other!!! I have such an awful case of butter flies I think I am really to lift off… nerves ugh. Hugs right back to you all, deb
Deb….Thank you. You said it so well. Please, let us continue to wish nothing but the absolute best test results for you and for everyone else. Like it or not we are in this together …all the way.
Hugs
MarionYou girls are so sweet… where do I start? Kris ..I do feel guilty asking for good luck when you are going through so much yourself. I am afraid to read all the posts because it breaks my heart to hear all you have suffered through as have so many others! Kris you are so young and deserve so much more…it makes me so mad to imagine how you must feel. I beleive you are definately full of spunk and can kick butt and I am right beside you in this battle kicking all the butts we can. (such a funny visual huh?) ***Jean, I think you read my mind. It is so hard to find the words that you want to say. If I could I would personnally write to everyone who needs a friend during the hard times yet everyones experience is so different and I feel like I don’t know what to say. It seems I know so little compared to others. Unremarkable is pretty remarkable…I sure wish it for you as well on the 26th! I am beginning to get really nervous again. I hate this feeling!!!!! To live to die wondering how it will all turn out. I do this every darn time…get panicky. Please please feel free to email me any of you any time if you just need someone else who gets it. I wish we could all just chat in the chat room anytime..it would be nice huh? Best of luck !!!!! Keeping you all in my prayers. ****Lainy and Teddy…what an amazing team you are! You give us such hope! Thanks for the kind words! **** As always Marion, you are such a huge support to all of us here and for that I thank you! Wishing you only the best life has to offer! You are a Saint! ******* looking forward to be able to give you good news *******God Bless us all! deb
I understand exactly what you are feeling. I used to feel guilty about doing so well too. But why should anyone feel guilty about being healthy?
I hope everyone here who is cancer free remains that way, and I include that in my nightly prayers. I love hearing how well everyone is doing. It sometimes feels that if I cant have “cancerfreeness”, well then shouldnt everyone else. Is there anyone else than the people on this board that offer strength, hope, and comfort who deserve it more? No. this board is full of amazing people, all of whom deserve to be healthy. Rejoice in it. Besides, I know what 99.95 percent of the time happens, I dont know about the other .05% and who said that cant be me? Most likely wont, but why not give it a try? The chance of me getting the blasted cancer in the first place was statistically more improbable than me living 5 years with it, and then who knows what will be available then?
Best of luck on your scans ladies. I will be keeping my fingers crossed and prayers said.
Kris
Hi Debrah and Jean. Remember that everyone is different and the fact you have been well this long is wonderful. Teddy was fine for almost 2 1/2 years and when it came back last April we conquered again and he is just fine. Like I always say we tend to be realistically optimistic. You are already survivors.
Debrah
I can relate so much to what you wrote. I too get so overwhelmed when I read all of the posts and I want to write something, but I just don’t know what to say. This truely is a group of such amazingly brave people. But, it is a reminder as well that the cancer can come back. I try my best to really live in the moment and not in a place of fear…somedays I can remain so optimistic and then sometimes I just can’t. And I read what everyone is experiencing, the pain and fear, and trying their best to struggle against this cancer that very few people had even heard of before they were diagnosed. I am constantly struck by the strength of everyone here and how much everyone gives of themselves while dealing with so much. It is really an amazing group of people I think!
I’ll have my almost one year scan on the 26th, all of this starting on the 15th of April last year. Such words to hear “unremarkable” “no areas of concern”…who would have thought such words would have such meaning, the ability to bring such joy!
I will be sending all of my prayers and positive thoughts to you on the 17th and hoping so much for good news for you!
Jean
Deb….I am looking forward to hearing the positive results of your scans.
Gooooood luck. Thinking of you.
MarionI haven’t posted for some time now b/c I tend to get overwhelmed reading so many sad posts. I try to forget that my cc can come back again and then I read that kris and jeff are fighting so hard … it is just not fair is it? They are rather amazing people aren’t they? May God Bless you all. I am going again for my 3 month follow up CT on St Patricks Day and I hope my Irish luck holds and my scan stays ‘unremarkable’. I will let you know as soon as I know. It has been 2 years since diagnosis/surgery etc. We can beat this beast!!!!!! wishing everyone well and will try to keep up a bit better. Luck of the Irish to all!!!! deb
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