Forum-wide hug
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Awww Harmony,
You are a treasure. I had a whinge earlier and now I feel awful for being such an awful b….h.
Your post had such a great way of putting things into perspective. It was more than a hug, it was a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. The kind you get from a precious 4 year old.You are obviously a really special person, and the world has been a better place for having you in it.
Hugs and sloppy kisses right back at ya. xx
Valjee wrote:Hi Harmony!Great stuff & thanks for the hug, it even reached across the pond to the UK! Marvellous.
I’ve been reading your blog – I think I’d like to come and live near you for a short while – your food sounds really good! I’d be a very happy recipient of your ‘feed friends’ strategy.
I may have questions soon on translations of what certain foods – have you heard the saying that England (& the rest of the UK) & the U.S. are countries separated by a common language? Yes indeed! White beans?Keep going as you are & watch out for runaway garbage trucks!
Take care, Val x
Hi Val! I’m part Cajun, part German, and I sometimes pull from my Cajun comfort foods when I feed my family. I make gumbo, etoufee, and white beans and rice (at least those are the savory dishes I make). My Maw Maw (grandmother) used to make homemade pralines and divinity (yummy candy), and I’m working on those recipes since she passed on 2 years ago. So hard to perfect recipes she spent her life making over and over again.
White beans (at least on this side of the pond) are another word for navy beans, little bitty white beans which are stewed down with onion, garlic, red pepper flakes, fresh thyme and usually some sort of pork product – my fave is smoked ham hocks. We serve it over rice with cayenne pepper sauce. Yum. Visitors always welcome – I love to cook!!!
Hi Harmony!
Great stuff & thanks for the hug, it even reached across the pond to the UK! Marvellous.
I’ve been reading your blog – I think I’d like to come and live near you for a short while – your food sounds really good! I’d be a very happy recipient of your ‘feed friends’ strategy.
I may have questions soon on translations of what certain foods – have you heard the saying that England (& the rest of the UK) & the U.S. are countries separated by a common language? Yes indeed! White beans?Keep going as you are & watch out for runaway garbage trucks!
Take care, Val x
Harmony,
I feel the hug near Chicago too! What a wonderful post. Thank you, thank you.
Take care.
Linda
Harmony, that was the best “hug” I’ve had in a long while! What a beautiful attitude. I’m sure it makes your husband and family and friends feel like they are seeing an angel in disguise. You reach out to others while you face this daunting illness but you know, it makes others who love you go through this disease with you so much more easily. I was diagnosed in January of this year but I still feel relatively new to cc as I have not had any real symptoms of the disease. Chemo was easy on me but did not shrink the liver tumor or the lymph nodes. A chemoembolization only caused one day of mild pain but did manage to cut circulation to the liver tumor. I wish I could trade places with you as I have lived a full life at age 67. You need many more years with your precious son and husband. Your loving attitude will carry you a long way…..
Thank you, Harmony. I read your post to my husband (my caretaker), but had to have him read the last paragraphs because I was crying. You expressed how I felt in wonderful words.
Kathy
Hello, Harmony & thank you so much for the hug!! I love your blog title; I’m a diver, too & haven’t been in the water since my knee replacement. I’m so looking forward to reading more of your blog – you have a fabulous style.
Julia
Harmony, welcome back. I loved your attitude before, and you’ve still got it. I hope you can keep it going-as you say you never know what new treatment’s coming up. Keep that fighting spirit.
KateHello Harmony and WELCOME back! My goodness girl, you ahve been all over the world of Chemo. I LOVE the new you! You are now a surviving fighter and I am so proud of you. Good to have you back and please keep us posted on your success.
Harmony…..a warm “hello” to you again. Thanks for sharing your wonderful words of wisdom. Harmony, you might want to post your blog in the “blog” category, on this site. Due to the high volume of postings, it might easily become lost in lost in the threads and that would be a shame.
Best wishes,
MarionHarmony: Sweet words! As a caregiver to my husband, Thomas – I really appreciate your words!
Thank You!
MargaretIt’s been so long since I’ve posted here, and that just seems dumb when I look back. So much has changed, and I’m actually here frequently, even though it’s just to read.
To recap, I posted here just twice (I think!), earlier this year. It took me a little while to finally discard my denial about my situation and face the reality of this disease. I allowed myself to understand that I had cancer, but wouldn’t let myself acknowledge that I had stage IV cancer, and would never be cured. I truly believed that I would blast the crap out of this cancer with chemo and move on with my life. Some of that may still be true, but who knows? Here’s where I’m at: a little over a year ago, I was diagnosed with stage IV cc. I had tremendous response with Gemcis…for 3 months. We killed 70% (so says the PET scan I had) by 3 months so we kept going for another 3. Unfortunately, that 3 month point was where the Gemcis started to fail, and when we checked again at 6 months, all the cancer had grown back. I had a 6.5 cm tumor in my liver and infected nodes around the liver and a biggie infected node hanging out around my pancreas.
We decided to try FOLFOX for 6 months, and I have 2 treatments left. I also had a chemoembolization in May, which worked like a champ. It was also the most painful experience of my life. I guess the chemo combo the IR chose included some stockpiled chemo that isn’t made in the US anymore. He was saving it for a special occasion. That just happened to be me. An August CT showed the infected nodes are significantly better, and the tumor in my liver is showing signs of major necrosis. At the end of October, I finish my FOLFOX and we’ll do a PET to see how much is active and how much is just yucky dead tissue. So far, my liver is our assault’s biggest casualty. The chemo-embo effectively killed the entire right lobe of my liver, which was a bit expected. No more of those for me, thanks. At my last treatment (a week ago) my oncologist said that when the FOLFOX is done, we have a ton of choices, including going back to the Gemsar, in combination with other chemo agents. He believes the chemo-honeymoon from Gemsar may give it the ability to work again. While he notes that my cc is particularly aggressive, it also seems to respond astronomically to chemo. Frankly, I’d like to take a wee break from the FOLFOX since the neuropathy is getting a bit tiresome. Cold sensitivity isn’t my problem – it’s lack of muscle tone in my forearms and legs. Makes it hard to pick up my kid. My platelets are shot, usually in the 50-60k range, but my oncologist agrees to give me fully leaded chemo anyway. It’s a risk I choose to take.
Anyhow, what is the point of this, you ask? I figure this post would be a way for me to give everyone a hug. We all need it. Our wonderful caretakers, and us fighting this disease, could use a bit of a break. I know none of you, but because we’re all going through this together, I feel like I know you all too well. I’ve developed a pretty healthy outlook nowadays. My oncologist and I call it the, “Every day above dirt is a good day,” outlook. I’ve made it one whole year with this crap, and I don’t intend to slow down yet. My precious 4 year old son still doesn’t have a clue, and I intend to keep things that way as long as I can. For us, at least, normal is what we’re shooting for.
I feel like that despite the yucky nature of this disease, and of cancer in general, I’ve become a better person. I smile more, enjoy each day, thank God for everything wonderful in my life, and just keep going. Some days are easier than others, of course!
In any event, to our caretakers, our wonderful families: you are why we fight. Even when our bodies are pooped out, we hurt, we want this rollercoaster to stop and let us off so we can just be “normal” again. We love you. We wish things weren’t this way, but we’re glad that we have each of you to help us along. Remember that on the good days and the bad days – we fight because we love you.
To us: it blows. Lord knows, this disease really sucks. Fight when you can, take a break when you need to. Love your family, enjoy each day that you can. Live fearlessly. If you get hit by a garbage truck tomorrow, it won’t matter one lick that you had cc. Live your life like you mean it. And eat a cinnamon roll – hand to God, it’ll make everything just a little bit sweeter in the world.
A great big hug to everyone, and for just a moment, let it make your heart happy…..
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