Full steam ahead with hospice
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Not to make a pun but “stay the course” on your Cruise plans. How wonderful that will be. Remember that the cruise is not all that far from home. You can have her home in hours if need be. I have a feeling this is a goal she wants to meet. As long as everyone is there to share the “care” duties it will be just fine.
Takes lots of pictures. As far as tears when the grand children are around we are the same way. They are better than any RX. Today Teddy is tired from the “big” weekend but I wouldn’t change a thing we did. You are all doing just stupendous and keep up the good work and stay strong. I feel so many use the last amount of time up being depressed or very sad and its wasted energy when one can be making lasting Memories like you are. We are trying our best to do that as well. I don’t ever want to look back and say that I spent the last month of Teddy’s life not being just like we have been for 16 years…ok, so a few little adjustments get in the way, but so what? Cruise on. Hey, you might want to buy your mom a Captain’s Cap!Lainy, how sweet of you to ask about us! Glad Teddy is able to enjoy the visits and short outings, and that people are respecting your requests.
Mom is actually doing pretty good. She seems to have a bit more energy than last week, and the confusion has lessened. Still can
Hi Kimmie, just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going. We have completed almost 2 weeks with Hospice and I cannot rave enough about them. I think Teddy and your Mom are at about the same place.
Saturday night we went to our Grandson’s 14th Birthday party and only stayed 1/2 hour but it was such a loving and delightful 1/2 hour. Yesterday went out for a quick breakfast with some friends then at 3PM another couple came over and at 7PM another couple. Each stayed for 1 hour and it was a GOOD day.
I try to keep things as “Normal” for Teddy as I can but I also let people know, there are rules. This Wed. 5 are coming in to see him for a week! When they leave, his sister and brother-in-law are coming in. All are staying elsewhere and I have advised my kitchen is closed.
Wouldn’t you know after breakfast yesterday we went to the car and the battery had died!! A nice young man gave us a boost.
I know what you mean about the Hospice Social Worker but since T & I had already discussed these things it was a good session.
Please let us know how Mom is doing. I now know first hand what you all go through but I still say I couldn’t do it without this CC site!!!Kim, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Reading your post brought back memories of my own mom, who was diagnosed with cancer in 2005. She was also put in hospice care, and we were so grateful for the care and support they offered mom and our family during that time. I’m sure it must be hard for you as well. My continued prayers for you all.
Dale
Dear Kim,
I have never posted here but after reading your post I had to! My heart aches for you and your family! My husband was diagnosed in Feb. 09 at the age of 45. He did have surgery in May of 09 and is doing well right now. I understand completely why you would post on here, it is just so nice to connect with others that understand. Just wanted to let you know you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers! JennyKim,
Your post hit so close to home. Last year at this time we were almost in the same spot you are in now, and it is NOT an easy one. My mom was diagnosed in October 2006. Hospice started coming the end of August 2009. It was so hard to decide that hospice needed to come, but once they started it lifted a weight off of my shoulders.
It must be so hard for you having both parents have medical issues, I am so sorry. Has your sister said if it is easier or harder for her having hospice come, since she is a hospice nurse?
You are doing exactly what you need to do for your mother. You are being there and loving her and spending time with her. Cherish this time with her and try and just focus on the day (I know that is so much easier said than done.)
Just wanted to you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love, Amyim…From what I have experienced personally and from what I have witnessed on this board is that when we come to accept the situation and take all necessary steps in order to provide comfort and care for our loved ones, it is then that another aspect of living enters our lives. This is one of the most precious times given to us. It allows for deeply imbedded foot prints to enter our mind and soul as it will nurture us for the time to come. Many wonderful moments are yet to be encountered. And, there is still some time for normality (as what we know) to be part of the days and weeks ahead. And, you can count on support and much love coming your way.
My heart is with you,
MarionMy Mom’s first round of chemo, after her recurrence was diagnosed, didn’t appear to touch the tumors. In fact, her CA19-9 went from 97 to 525 in a few weeks, and her liver function and bililrubin numbers went above normal for the first time since she was first diagnosed 15 months ago.
Luckily Mom’s not showing signs of these high numbers – no jaundice or anything like that yet. But she’s been VERY weak, having pain in her hip and back (pre-existing problems) and nausea occasionally. She sleeps a lot, but is very lucid when awake, and eating pretty well. I love to cook, so I’ve been using that to dote on her with yummy-healthy meals.
She moved in with my sister last week, due to her extreme weakness and the fact that she and my Dad can’t really handle everything at home alone (he has vascular dementia). My dear sister is a home hospice nurse, so is all too familiar with the path that a terminal illness takes.
We thought it’d be a few more weeks until she went on home hospice, but she ended up being admitted to home hospice last Friday. We were visited that day by the admitting nurse and got her a hospital bed, yesterday our regular hospice nurse came, and today a visit from the social worker. (All three were requested by my sister, and I can see why she chose them, they’re all outstanding.)
The social worker was by far the most helpful, and at the same time the most upsetting. It’s her job, but she asked about what she wishes for her family after she’s gone, what worries her (my Dad), power of attorney, DNR, has she chosen the funeral home, funeral hymns, etc.
I’m not the emotional crier in the family, that’s my Mom and sister’s department. But I did cry in front of my Mom for the first time today. I feel this need to protect her, shield her, entertain her and otherwise keep her mind off her terminal cancer. So it’s been a really hard day.
I have been, and will continue to be, spending lots of time here at my sister’s helping out. I’m blessed to work from home (I mostly write) so I can work from anywhere. Luckily my kids (ages 11 and 9) go back to school Monday so I can have some more one-on-one time with Mom – I’ve been bringing them with me. It’s been good though, she’s loved to have them here, and I think it’s important for them to spend time with her, as well as witness her experiences and understand.
Not sure why I posted this, other than to get it out of my brain. My Mom turns 64 on the 30th of this month. Much too soon for her to leave us. I’m trying minute by minute, hour by hour, to deal with this and find some meaning and peace in all of it.
I know there are sooooo many on this board dealing with such heartache, but keep my Mom in your prayers.
Kim
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