future obituary
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I think about it all the time Kathyb. Even though I still can’t believe it is happening. And I even thought I would have to be the one to write it for Marc, I never thought about him writing it for himself. I guess I need to discuss it with him. But I am sure he would agree that having “bile duct cancer” in the obit is a great idea. He believes, as we all do, that we need to find more ways to get the knowledge of CC out there.
Lainy: I like that “Discussing death is really discussing the new life”. Those are powerful words….
Margaret
I agree! Of course I am a great advance planner, my lists have lists. The only thing we have discussed in the past was T wanted the Memorial at our all Faiths Chapel because he is so close to our Rabbi and has sung in our choir for 15 years. But now he is equally involved with the Catholic Church here (adult community) so I told him I felt it only proper to do it there since he was raised Catholic and he is that, first and foremost. But I like the idea of putting everything down like Pall Bearers etc. as he has 2 sons, my son, grandsons etc. When I think about it…..to me….discussing death is really discussing the new life.
I agree with Margaret,
My Mom had written her obituary as I found one evening when she directed my Dad to go and get an envelope from her dresser. This was towards the end of her fight against CC and at that time she was having some cognitive issues. Daddy went to get the envelope not really expecting to find one. Guess again!
Daddy and I were amazed to see she had written her obituary and the outline of her funeral service apparently right after her diagnosis. She then informed us that Daddy would sing “Some glorious daybreak” at her funeral, I would give her eulogy and some of her grandchildren would also speak. Her pallbearers would be her three grandsons, and her nephews. She had even specified we were NOT to have carnations in her flowers since they always reminded her of funerals. She had decided what hymns were to be sung and which of their ministers would speak.
Needless to say I almost threw up at that point. However I am proud to say that Daddy did indeed sing, I gave her eulogy and my sister’s oldest son and my oldest son stood up and spoke about their grandmother.
It was beautiful and very special and took a load off of my Daddy, my sister and me during a time when we were grieving.
It will be a year April 3rd. and as on that day I will be smiling through my tears.
Hugs,
PamKathyb:
I do not think this is ‘morbid’ at all. My husband Tom and I sat down and wrote out a ‘mock up’ of his obituary. We will also be adding that he died from Cholangiocarcinoma (Aka, bile duct cancer). By writing up his pre obituary, he felt that he had some input as to what was put into it and it also spares me from having to try and remember everything on my own after he passes. We even have his pall bearers picked out, and he has already asked those 6 men if they are willing to be his pall bearers. And he asked one of his close friends if he would do an euelogy (spelling?) for him at his funeral.
I like to think of this as advance planning, rather than to have it all dumped on me after his passing.
Go with God and KEEP KICKIN’ THAT cancer.
Margaret
I totally agree. It was mentioned in my husband’s obituary. Some people having read it did ask me more about it. I also saw that post on face book, Julia. Yes, maybe finally we are beginning to raise awarness. For all of you planning to write your own obituaries, I too hope you won’t be needing them for a very long time to come.
There’s a new member on the Facebook fan page who wrote: “didn’t know what this was, so I looked it up”. When I read it, I thought, “Wow – we’re really raising awareness, one person at a time”.
I think you’ve made a wonderful suggestion, Kathy. I hope that day will be far, far in the future.
Julia
I agree this is a good idea. I’m also planning on writing my own obituary. Is that a morbid thought?
I could not agree more!!!! There has to be a way to get the word out to more people and that is why I wear my bracelet every day. Great idea! I might even put in my obituary that my sister passed previous to me of bile duct cancer.
kathyb,
I entirely agree with what you are saying. I also felt it was very important to let people know the exact cancer my husband Gary died from. It was included in his obituary so people would become more aware of the existence of bile duct cancer. I praise you for having this type of discussion with your husband. Gary and I selected and purchased our cemetery plots together, and it gives me great comfort knowing he approves of his final resting place.
Take care, Elainekathyb,
I hope your very future obit will say you lived to a record age! If that doesn’t happen then I think your idea is a wonderful and caring one!
Hugs!
PamThis is not a subject I like to think about too much, but I have given thought to my someday obituary. If CC causes me to die (and not a car accident or something else), I’ve told my husband that he is not to put down that I died of “natural causes” or even “cancer”. I want him to be very specific – “bile duct cancer”.
Bile duct cancer is very unknown. This is part of my awareness campaign for CC. I think that if someone would read that and say to themselves, “I’ve never heard of bile duct cancer,” well at least one more person would know that it even exists.
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