good bye to my mom
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You are so right Joyce. I really do think that grieving is a very personal thing and is different for everyone. The closer you were to your loved one, the longer you shared a life together and even the circumstances of the illness and death can make a difference. There is no time frame for grieving. No right or wrong. We each must do it in our own way and our own time. I think that in time we will all find some relief. I don’t think it every goes away, but we somehow learn how to cope and live with it, hopefully remembering more & more of the good times and letting go of the things we could not control or change. I too am hoping for the grief to begin to subside for all of us. Just being here and also putting one foot in front of the other every day and taking things as they come, one day at a time. We will all get through this, together.
Love & Hugs To All,
DarlaLove & Hugs,
DarlaDear Beth and Carrieann,
I think what makes it especially hard for us is that we were physically close to our mothers and saw them often. I have a friend whose mother just died of cancer and I thought they had a very close relationship, but the mother lived in France so they didn’t see each other that often. I was ready to comfort her and give her whatever she needed, but after a week of grieving, she seems totally unaffected by her mother’s death — even ANNOYED that her father is grieving “too much.” I know everyone has different coping mechanisms, different levels of grief, but I think that when you have almost daily contact with your mom, when she’s your best friend, it’s as devastating as having your spouse die. It’s been 2 and a half years and I still cry every day, still think of her as soon as I wake up. Then there’s my little daughter’s grief that still shows up whenever she’s feeling sad – and she asks for her Grandma Fifi, just heartbreaking.I just wanted to say that I feel your pain – both of you – and offer you any comfort I can. You’re not alone and we were so blessed to have such wonderful mothers. If only the grief would subside a bit.
Joyce MDear Carrieann,
I feel your pain. This is so heart breaking. I lost my best friend and mom, June 29, 2009. She was also 64 years young. My story is just like yours, I was with her to the end. I still can’t belive she is gone. We lived an hour apart, however I worked in her store, with her daily. If I was home or it was the weekend we would talk on the phone. She so loved my husband and her grandchildren, we would take vacations together three times a year or more. Now I go to work without her. I just keep telling myself, she is with me and our wonderful family. I know I will see her in heaven, I just wish it didn’t seem so far away. I try to stay positive, my children need me, and so does my husband. I’m 42. I see that jmoneypenny’s mom was the same age ours, and we are all early 40’s. Wow, I keep reading how this cancer is so rare however, there seems to be a lot of us going through the same thing. God Bless you and your family. We all need to stay strong and be thankful for everything our mom’s gave us.
BethDear Carrieann,
My heart breaks for you at the loss of your best friend, your mother. I lost mine to this disease, also, and she was also 64. We were truly blessed to have such wonderful mothers — but that makes it all the more painful to lose them. I hope you find some peace in the tough days ahead.
Joyce MCarrieann,
I am sorry for your loss. You will find a strength you did not know you possessed in the next ffew days. Remember to be kind to yourself, you are in the greaving process and so often people are too hard on themselves. You have a family here who will help you as much as possible during this time. Use us. We are here for you.Kris
Carrieann,
I too am so sorry for your loss. How blessed your Mom was to have you with her during this journey. I believe the greatest comfort we have at times like these is the knowledge that we will be reunited again with them. My thoughts and prayers are with you. God Bless,
JamieCarrieann,
I am so sorry. That seems so inadequate to say, it is just that words fail us at a time like this. You are a wonderful daughter, and thankfully, you were able to be there for your Mom at the end. You will always have that – knowing that you were able to do that. Our loved ones are in a better place now, as I am sure that you know, it is just that we are left behind in this world without them. Thank God we know we will see them again one day! What a glorius thought, don’t you think?Love – Joyce
Carrieann, I am so sorry. It is very evident that you were a wonderful daughter, and you loved your mom very much. I am so sorry for the pain that you are feeling. My mom is also my best friend, and it makes me so sad to think about the day that she will no longer be here with me. I feel so selfish sometimes saying this, but I need her! I am sure that many of you can relate to those feelings.
We are here for you.
Love, Amy
Carrieann, we are so very sorry to hear of your Mom’s Passing. What a wonderful daughter you are to have fought right along side of her through this unbelievable journey. Mom’s never really leave us as they remain in our hearts and minds forever. Our prayers are with you and your family.
Carrieann,
As you probably know I lost my Mom in April of this year. She was diagnosed in May of 2008. I’ve always felt a kinship with you since we are both from North Carolina and have put thousands of miles on our cars. Also your Mom was diagnosed right after mine was.
I am so glad that you, like me was there at the end to comfort and ease her way into heaven. I felt so blessed to be able to hand my Mom from our arms into the arms of her lord. There is a beauty in death that I had never known and can’t explain to someone who hasn’t traveled this journey.
I know the emptiness and the void you are starting to feel. I’m still struggling with the grief process. I thought it would be easier with all of the anticipatory grieving that I did through out the course of her disease. This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do and I can tell you grief has NO TIMETABLE and no expiration date. I do however believe God has been so close to me and is gently leading me in the right direction.
Not a day goes by that I haven’t thought to pick up the phone and call or send her an email. When my daughter called to say she made honor roll, my first impulse was to call Mom.
You will find yourself in “automatic mode” for a while. You’ll find a deep strength within yourself and you’ll be able to do everything you need to do right now.
All I can say is I am so sorry but yet so happy you were with her and able to say everything you needed. I know she was so proud to have a daughter such as you with her when she died. Can you imagine how proud she must have been as a Mom to have you with her, praying and caring and holding her hand?
I’d like to think our Moms have met and are catching each other up on their daughters…in whom they are well pleased”.
You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care of yourself and come back often to share.
Many hugs and much, much love,
Pam
Dear Carrie Ann,
I am so sorry for your loss. I agree that losing a loved one to this horrible cancer is the worst thing that any of us have or will experience in our life time. You are a wonderful supportive daughter and I am glad you were able to be there with her to comfort her at the time of her passing. Take comfort in knowing that she is now in a better place, no longer suffering or in pain. Know that she will always be with you in your heart & memories. and you will be with her again one day. All of us that have lost a loved one in this way know what you are now feeling & going through. We are all traveling this journey of grief together. Come back often as we are all here to help & support each other as we all truely understand in a way that others can’t.
Try to stay strong and take care of yourself during this sad & trying time. You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
Love & Hugs,
Darlafor a year now, I have read about people losing their loved ones from this terrible cancer, and now it has come to be my turn. My wonderful mom, at the age of 64, fought this cancer with everything she had for a year. It was in June 2008 that we were told she had CC, and she passed away in her home June 8, 2009. The last 3 weeks were hard on her. She was in pain, and was visibly concerned about dying. My mom lived in SC, and I am in NC. I drove every weekend over the past couple of months to spend time with her. The Friday before she passed, my husband, 3 year old son and I drove down to see her for the weekend. She wasn’t talking much, but when we talked to her, she smiled and nodded, and knew we were there with her. I stayed on Sunday night, when my husband and son left for home. I laid next to her through the night. Talked to her, prayed with her, and held her hand. The last 6 hours of her life, she didn’t once shut her eyes, I believe she was talking to the Lord and preparing. She passed at 12:28 pm, and I was there by her side, to tell her how much she meant to me, and to thank her for all she did. There were alot of tears, but now, I am just empty. I guess it truly hasn’t hit me that she is gone, and she will not be there for me to talk to on the phone, or take shopping, or for her to attend our upcoming birthdays and holidays. To all that are beginning the fight with CC, or have a loved one fighting the battle my thoughts and prayers are with you. Watching my mom, my best friend go through this horror was the toughest thing I have done so far in my life, but there is peace knowing she is with the Lord, and I one day I will be by her side again.
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