Good bye

I am not sure why I want to let you all know, since my visits here have been short, but my father died yesterday. I just want anyone out there reading this to know and keep in mind the difficult reality of this disease, as it is extremely vicious.

He was diagnosed in May, had failed surgery June 15th (cancer had seeded), many complications over the summer – jaundice and ascites, and had 3 chemo treatments (because he just couldn’t give up). He stayed for a long time in the hospital, with my mother at his side. On Saturday he came home which he was so happy about.

My father was extremely realistic about his disease. From the hospital, with our help, he pre-arranged his funeral and finalised and signed his Will and living Will (His last visit outside was to the cemetary to check the plot my mom and I chose.) He woke up most mornings and appreciated the sunrise, his eyes sparkled when I or other loved ones walked into the room, and he cherished his grandchildren’s presence. Up until the end he worried about the safety and security of his family. He was so strong, mentally.

My family and I were so nervous because we didn’t know how a walking rational being dies. We didn’t know what to expect. Basically my father started becoming more and more delirious in the last week. We thought this was the pain medication, but in retrospect it was the degradation of his body. But he was aware of what was becoming of his body. As an architect his entire life, he was trying to design himself thinking he was a problem to solve. He asked my mother when this farce was going to end. Later that day, he collapsed in my mother