August 21, 2008 at 2:30 pm #21045
So, it has been almost 3 weeks since my scan. My doctor is on vacation and he asked a fellow doctor to look at the scans. The radiologist said when I was scanned that it would take 7 to 10 days. We finally got throught to the secretary yesterday to ask why we hadnt heard anything from the doctor.
Well, apparently the fill-in doctor decided I need a meeting with my normal doctor to get the results. My normal doctor doesnt come back until monday so I wont have the results for most likely another week. But lets not kid ourselves, good news could have been given over the phone. Having to wait for a meeting tells me all I need to know. It is cruel. I dont have real information, but just enough to put me into depression. Do these doctors not learn about emotional needs of patients in medical school?
I am so scared, so frustrated and I feel so alone. I have tried to talk to both my parents and my husband but they are in positive mood. That might be good for them, but it makes everything more lonely. I need to talk about how I feel, what are my worries, what will this mean. I am scared. They just want to wait for the doctor to give the news. HELLO. I have been in pain for 2 months and I cant get results until the doctor comes back. What do they think this means?? My scan was so good he needs to call me in to praise me for holding my breath good for the scanner? I dont care that THEY want to wait, I am scared and lonely NOW. I want to shake them and say “STOP BEING POSITIVE AND LISTEN TO ME. I AM SCARED AND I NEED TO BE HEARD”
I am so angry at the fill in doctor and I am angry with life. I look around me and can find at least 2 dozen people who deserve cancer more than me. I want to wake up in the morning and NOT feel my body or its pains. I want to plan a life. I want to scream. I want to hit out. I want to go out and get drunk like I did when I was 21. I want to be Kris again, not some scared woman. This sucks. I have so much anger in me that out of nowhere I just angrily said “Fcuk” while sitting watching tv. Where does that come from? Where does such anger fester that it needs to randomly come out when my mind is supposedly elsewhere? How did I become that?
I think I have ranted enough.
A couple of people have emailed me and I cant email back as hotmail is not working on my computer right now. Even my computer is sick.August 12, 2008 at 11:53 am #21044scragotsMember
I might have missed a post somewhere, but I was thinking about you and wondering about the results of your scan. Did they figure out where they pains were coming from? Thinking good thoughts.
SueJuly 25, 2008 at 5:21 pm #21043karenParticipant
Try to keep positive and not dwell. Enjoy your berry picking and the wonderful feeling being in the great outdoors. Prayers….
KarenJuly 25, 2008 at 3:20 pm #21042marylloydParticipant
Good thoughts and prayers coming your way. Enjoy your weekend as much as possible. There must be something to this berry picking. My husband likes to do it too. Even when he was really sick 2 years ago he managed to do it. Of course then he wanted a pie!! Take care and best wishes. We all have our fingers crossed that it is nothing more than constipation!! MaryJuly 25, 2008 at 11:42 am #21041bbfranson wrote:So, I’m voting that kris is just constipated, and that an enema is going to fix all this. All in favor, aye!
Love ya, kris. We’re all rooting for you!
Dont make me laugh, it hurts.
I just got the letter and I will be having a ct next friday. So with the weekend, I will not have news for at least 10 days. Stress, stress, and more stress. If the pain gets much worse, I think I might head to the gp for something stronger. But now off to southern sweden I go to a little cottage in the middle of nowhere. I just picked a liter of cherries for the trip and am bringing a bucket for all the wild berries. I am even being so daring as to pack a swimsuit and possiblywear it in front of people I know. So everyone have a good weekend. And I do appreciate all the thoughts and prayers. I think I need them.July 25, 2008 at 5:08 am #21040tiapattyMember
Aye! I am praying for constipation!
PattyJuly 25, 2008 at 5:00 am #21039bbfransonParticipant
So, I’m voting that kris is just constipated, and that an enema is going to fix all this. All in favor, aye!
Love ya, kris. We’re all rooting for you!
brendaJuly 24, 2008 at 8:31 pm #21038debrahParticipant
oh kris, so sorry for what you are going through. I think we all understand the fear that you are experiencing. I am definately going to keep you in my prayers. I am no expert on this like I should be but wouldn’t your blood work of shown elevated #’s if the cc was back? I know when I get a ct scan I always have bloodwork the same day. Maybe a cyst that your gyn didn’t detect? I understand they are very painful. I feel such sympathy for you b/c ‘been there done that’.. have a glass of wine (if ok) and get away from it all. Wishing you peace and good new! debJuly 24, 2008 at 7:37 pm #21037jcleggMember
I am praying for you – I hope the weekend away will help. Many good trhouhts your way.
JoyceJuly 24, 2008 at 7:27 pm #21036carol58Participant
Hey Kris, TRY not to worry. That’s so easy to say, isn’t it? Lots of positive thoughts and prayers for you from North Carolina. Let us know as soon as you find out.
CarolJuly 24, 2008 at 5:01 pm #21035chrissy23Participant
Relax and take it easy. It is always easier to have a good time away from home! So good job on the weekend away! I will definitely be praying for you. Did they not do a ct in the emergency room. That is strange. Like Sue said…… It could be sooo many things. No sense in worrying just yet. Wishing you the best.
ChristinaJuly 24, 2008 at 4:44 pm #21034lainyParticipant
Hi Kris: I have crossed my eye, arms, legs and everything in-between in wishing you a good report! Stay strong and enjoy your holiday!!!July 24, 2008 at 3:10 pm #21033jeffgMember
Kris…. Gooooooooooooooooood thoughts across the ocean and straight to you. Take your meditation up a notch or two girl and try reducing your anxiety and fear. You can do it Kris! Your stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Jeff G.July 24, 2008 at 1:49 pm #21032scragotsMember
I will certainly be thinking about you! It could be so many things, try not to worry. And I think sometimes it’s actually a good thing to have a different pair of eyes looking at your scans. Then your doc will look at them when he/she gets back to verify. I will keep all my fingers and toes crossed that it is something simple and non-threatening and I will also send up a bunch of prayers. Tell Hans I said to take you somewhere fun, and make you laugh this weekend! Let us know as soon as you find out anything.
SueJuly 24, 2008 at 1:32 pm #1385
I am having some pains in my lower abdomen which resulted in an emergency room visit when my gp thought I had appendicitis and then off to the gynocologist because they then thought it was a problem with my ovary. the gyneocologist found nothing and wanted me to wait to see if the pain went away. It hasnt and my doctor in charge has ordered a new ct scan for the pelvic area. I just found out this area hasnt been scanned before. I am very nervous. And to make it worse, my lovely doctor is going away on vacation and a new doctor will look at my scans. I am so scared. I have been praying up a storm! So, if you can, send me some good thoughts, positive energy and prayers (if you pray).
I am in a state of shock and am quite weepy at times (half from the pain, half from the fear). We are going away for the weekend and hopefully I can relax.
Good thoughts please.
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