Terry,
You bring tears to my eyes when you write about your beloved Wayne. It’s so obvious that the two of you shared a great love.
You should be very proud of yourself for the steps you are taking in your journey with grief.
When I lost my Mom to CC I really thought all of the events leading up to her death and the anticipatory grief would somehow make losing her easier. It doesn’t. It’s been a little over a year since Mom died and while it has gotten easier I find I can be blind-sided by the most simple things. I was in Walmart one night and someone walked by wearing her perfume and I lost it, disolving into tears.
I guess what I really want to share with you is grief is an intensely personal and private journey. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It will get easier but only in its and your own time. We are all on this journey together. We’re here for you!
I’m sending hugs to you and your family.
Pam