Has any Dr. mention Genetics to anyone?
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Thank you Lynda and Joyce,
I do have a 29 year old daughter and 30 year old son, and they seem to be handling things ok, (unless it’s just a show for me). Sad to say my mom and I don’t have a great relationship, I lost so much repsect for her after watching her with my dad when he died. The night they told us he wouldn’t make it through the night, she went home and went to bed. My Aunt went to her house to tell her my dad had died. I Can’t imagine doing that with my husband. I never left his side. I didn’t even have hospice. He was on a feeding tube and that is considered life saving measures! Can you imagine. Needless to say I brought him home with the help of my kids. My daughter did try counseling and she didn’t like it, so I called the funeral home that took care of my dad and husband and they offer free grief counseling, so I made an appt. for her.
Lynda, I never knew he signed a waver at GM until he was dying – I heard him tell the Dr.s. When I questioned him, he said it was like a book it was so long. I asked him why he never told me – his answer- he didn’t want me to worry!
I would like you both to know how much I appreciate your concern. Thanks for just listening, it means so much. I pray for your loved ones also, and I wish you and them peace. My heart goes out to anyone who has this disease or a loved on going through this disease.
PS: Two of my three brothers have been great, so has my husbands brother. Thank you so much for asking.Sandy,
I feel terrible for you and your daughter – maybe you both should get some counseling, since it’s so hard to help each other when you’re both hurting so much. I lost my beloved stepfather 4 years ago and grieved with my mother, then my mother and biological father died within one week of each other this year, and my 4 year old daughter is a complete wreck because she misses Grandma so much. For months I felt I just couldn’t help her, because I was too caught up in my own grief, and I felt so guilty that I couldn’t be there for her completely. It’s just recently that I’ve been actively trying to help her and get her through all this – I try to focus on her whenever I’m tempted to just lie in bed and cry – now she’s getting therapy but the grief comes in waves and after the 6 month mark we both got worse.You really can’t be expected to be a whole person after the death of your husband and father, no matter how much you love your daughter and want to help her – it’s just too much to bear. I hope there are other family members or friends, as Lynda said, who can help you and your daughter and give you some support in this terrible time. You definitely need help, whether it’s from loved ones or a professional – you can’t do this alone, no matter how strong you are. I know hospice usually offers free counseling – I went to one session but didn’t feel like I wanted to join a bereavement group – but maybe you and your daughter would benefit from group or individual therapy. You could even go together, if you felt that would help. And maybe reading some books about grief would help you, too – it helps to know you’re not going crazy. There are others on this board who have lost their fathers, so perhaps your daughter would like to communicate with them.
I’m at a loss as to how to comfort you, but I’m wishing peace for you and your daughter. My heart goes out to you-
Joyce
Oh my god Sandy my heart is breaking for you.
You are probably asking how much can one person endure. I hope that the Doctor has given you some advice about how both you and your daughter can cope. You must be so scared. Can you get any help from Hospice? Or do they dump us after our spouses have passed? Can the Cancer Clinic send counselling to both you and your daughter? Do GM benefits pay for counselling?
Roger also worked for GM. I didn’t realize that they made them sign a waver.
I also am a daddy’s girl. I can’t imagine loosing Roger and my dad so close together. You must be going absolutely bonkers. How are your brothers? Do you have a good support system in your family? I never thought that my brothers had it in them, until this started with Roger. Now I realize how much my family loves me. I hope you have the same.
Lynda
Thanks everyone, I appreciate all of your input. My husband did work for General Motors for 25 years, and they sign papers every year acknowledging that they work with chemicals and paint products. I did not know this until he got sick. Maybe it’s just coincidence about his mom and him. I’m still worried about my kids.
I had to take my 18 year old daughter to the Dr. today because she is now under 98 pounds. She is taking her father’s death so hard. It’s hard for me to help when I can’t even help myself. – My father just recently died of stage IV melanoma. So things are drepressing around here. I was the only girl, I had all brothers. I guess I was a daddy’s girl. Now my husband dies. I know that there are no answers, but I wish there were.
Again, thanks for your support.
SandyHi Sandy,
When Roger was diagnosed the doctor asked us if anyone else in his family had cancer and to the best of our knowledge, they don’t.
His next question was wether he worked with paints or plastic. Which he did for 30 years.
LyndaDear Sandy,
I understand your worries and my heart goes out to you.
While we were researching this disease and consulting with what I call
Hi Sandy-
Several of us had wondered the same thing and we were all told there is little or no genetic connection. There was a discussion about it on another thread – you may want to do a search for “hereditary” or “genetics” as I’m unsure where it was posted.I had a recent blood test that showed my GGT levels as elevated, which can sometimes indicate bile duct damage, but was assured that those levels don’t mean anything without elevated levels of liver enzymes. However, I’m going to be vigilant, because even if there is little genetic connection, environmental factors may be important – my mother and I both lived near a huge toxic dump for years, and I wonder if that had anything to do with her disease.
I hope you can find the other thread – it has more useful information.
-JoyceHi everyone,
I ask this question for a reason. As you all know my husband died from cc at age 52, April 8, 2007. (easter sunday) What I didn’t tell everyone is that his mother died at the exact same age of the exact same cancer. All of my husband Dr.s came in to speak with us privately one day, they felt very strongly about my three kids going for genetic testing. My kids went and they had every test imaginable and didn’t see anything, but they want them to get tested every year.
What is extremely scary is that his brother went to get checked and they found two tumors. Also his sisters and their children went, and one of his nieces had agrowth and a film covering her gallbladder. Needles to say the Dr. operated on both of them and removed their gallbladder. Now I’m really scared. Had anyone’s DRs. mentioned this to them. I would appreciated any information any has.
Thank you to all of you, and my hearts are with you and your families.
Sandy
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