I agree with Lainy – let your husband and his sister deal with their father. You’ve paid your dues, it’s time for them to step up. This is not cold – it’s simply a fact of life – something we have to deal with day after day.
Crissie, I am totally on board with what Darla has said. If it was me I would probably back off and let his son and daughter do the care giving. I know it sounds cold but sometimes my sanity is more important. When your Dad passed, that was not their dad, this is their dad and they are willing to put up with his attitude. I guess a few little visits here and there would be my goal. I don’t want to sound mean but unfortunately some people are NEVER satisfied. Be strong and take care of yourself and let the good memories of your Dad take over, they will.
I’m thinking that all of us who have lost a loved one have these feelings from time to time. My husband passed away over 6 years ago and I know several people like this. My husband too would have given anything to still be here, and it seems that some of those who are lucky enough to be don’t appreciate it. Life is not fair and yes, it hurts to see people who don’t appreciate what they have been given. Do I feel resentment toward them, yes, at times I do, but there is nothing I can do to change things so I try not to let it get to me or dwell on it too much. Do I feel guilty for having these feelings? Some times, but we all have the right to our feelings. We just have to try not to let them affect us negatively.
Please know that you can come here and express your feelings as we all understand.
My dad passed away in April of 2014 went through 6 months of chemo. My husband’s dad had bladder cancer in Apr of 2013 never went through chemo, has a neobladder, and continuously has issues. He just lays around doesn’t listen to when we say to go to the doctor and supposedly is cancer free.
I am at odds. My dad would have given anything to be alive but he is just what I call sucking the life out of me. He is not greatful….doesn’t listen…and gets no cancer???
I am so upset it is so unfair.
My husband and his sister are all about him….seeing him and trying to help. I am so resentful.