Hello
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dear lanne,
my mother was diagnosed august 2010. she is starting radiation and chemo this wednesday. she is terrified and scared. i live out of state with 2 kids, husband, house, and job. i cannot be there for her and it upsets me terribly. i fear what is coming and especially the sheer fact i cannot stop it. i am scared but am trying to be strong for her. at this time as well my father is very ill, and feel it almost 2 much to deal with. please stat in touch and know i a thinking of you and sending hugs, and smiles your way.
regards,
roni
ronidinkes@yahoo.comDear Lanne,
Welcome to the site. I am very sorry indeed to how your mother is doing and I know how you are feeling and what you are going through right now. I went through the same with my dad and I know that it is a very tough path to be on. Like Marion, I can’t really add to what has already been said to you by Lainy and Barbara. But my dad too went into hospice after us looking after him at home and his experience of hospice care was outstanding. Like most things in life, I guess that there are the good ones and the bad ones. And when my dad was in hospice, nothing was too much trouble for the doctors and nurses and that is how it should be.
I know that this is a tough time, but please know that we are all here for you.
My best wishes to you,
Gavin
Lanne….my heartfelt welcome to you also. I can’t add much more than what Lainy and Barbara have already pointed out so well to you. As you can see, Hospice can deliver the utmost best of care and yet, it also can fail our loved ones. Therefore, I would consider asking Lainy for some advice. This is a difficult time for all, no doubt many of us can relate to it. But, it allows us to take in every moment of our loved ones. And, that is so very precious.
My heart is with you.
MarionDear Lanne,
welcome to the site, although it does seem as if you have been here a while…Im sure in the 18 months with your mother and CC, you have had some highs and many lows, and now you have reached that definitive point many of us caretakers reach-hospice. Calling for Hospice for me was in a way a relief to share some of the burden and also a gut wrenching acceptance that my dad was not going to beat this cancer. I know this must be so hard for you to give up hope. I hope your experience with Hospice is better then Lainy’s. I cant complain about our experience. We kept my dad at home, but our nurse came often and was available anytime we called wether it was in the am, middle of the night etc….when we needed more morphine it was always delivered within a few hours. We tried to give him the least amount of morphine that he needed to control his pain because we knew as soon as we started up-ing the amount, he was going to be too out of it to even talk. We didnt want to not hear his voice anymore, but gradually the pain kept getting worse, and obviously the pain won out over communication, and then we didnt hear his voice ever again. Lainys right, give your mom lots of I love you’s, hugs, kisses. She will know you are there and comforting her. I wish you peace and strength during this sad time.
xo
BarbaraDearest Lanne, welcome to our wonderful family. I am so very sorry your Mother is going through this ordeal. My Teddy was on Morphine and I am surprised that the doctor said that about Hospice and medications. The Hospice Teddy was at in Phoenix, did NOT give him his Morphine and it was a horror ending for a wonderful man. It was so bad that we are now working with an advocate/lobbyist to try and get this Hospice to change its direction. What did I learn? I learned that I should have taken his meds with me and plied them myself. I learned that all Hospice is not the same.
Your mom is very lucky to have you taking this journey with her, hold her and touch her a lot and give many I love you’s. My deepest thoughts and prayers are coming your way.Although I am new posting to this site, I have been an avid student here for the past 18 months. My mother, who just turned 65, was diagnosed with CC in August 2009. She began radiation and oral chemo and by January of last year, had an 80% improvement. She attempted a liver resection in March 2010, but when the doctors were able to physically see inside, they found the cancer had spread to both sides of the liver and into her bowels. They just stopped the operation there and let her go home hopeless. We have prayed and prayed that a miracle would happen, but are now facing the fact that she will be unable to continue much longer. She went into the hospital on January 19th with shortness of breath, and was found to be extremely dehydrated. (She had began sleeping most of the day and night.) She also had developed pneumonia. An IV was started to rehydrate her and administer antibiotics. They also drained 1200 cc of fluid from her right lung! She seemed to rebound and met with Hospice to discuss entering the local facility. Her doctor then met with her and told her he didn’t feel it was time for Hospice. He also told her that they would have her on so much medication that she would be unable to function. This scared her and made her decide to go home. That was last Friday and yesterday, she was right back in the condition she was prior to the hospital stay. I believe she is again dehydrated and having trouble breathing. She asked us to call Hospice again and the nurse came out yesterday. Mom was given liquid morphine to help with her breathing and we are waiting for an available bed today. Mom has kept a very positive attitude throughout this whole nightmare. Sorry that this post is so long, but I know people on this site understand what is being dealt with.
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