Hello, and I am glad you all are here
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Hi Helen,
Sorry I am late in posting. Your post is beautifully written and you can feel the love and strong friendship. I will be praying for both of you.
Hugs
LisaHi Helen,
Yes I so agree that it is good to know that you are with others on here who know how you feel and understand everything that you and your loved ones are going through. That is one of the reasons that I kept coming back here when my dad was going through his fight with CC these years ago. When someone here says to you that they understand how you feel, they really do so having experienced it themselves before or are going through it all right now. It really is one big worldwide family here and I love that!
That is good that Bonnie is back home but not so good about the edema in her legs. Unfortunately, edema is one of the side effects of cancer and there are so many posts here on the site about this. If you use the search forum function at the top of the page you will be able to see all of them and I hope that they will be of use to you. Here are some links for you as well.
http://www.cancer.net/navigating-cancer-care/side-effects/edema-or-fluid-retention
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/lymphedema/Patient/page1
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/coping-with-cancer/coping-physically/lymphoedema/
So you have some Scottish blood in you then, good for you! It sounds like you had a great trip over here when you were younger and you certainly traveled around some lovely parts parts of our country. The west coast and upwards has some lovely tiny islands and indeed as you will know, we are blessed over here with some amazing scenery! I keep going on about it here doing my bit for the tourist board of Scotland! The Highlands too are very nice and I haven’t been to Orkney or the Outer Hebrides. Glad to hear that you felt at home over here, we really are very friendly and welcoming here. Hope that one day you will come home again!
And please keep coming back here as well and let us know how things go with Bonnie.
Hugs,
Gavin
Thank you Gavin. It’s so good to know that others have been through this and understand, especially the parts that really can’t be put into words.
Bonnie went back home from hospice and is now dealing with terrible edema in her lower legs and feet. The skin is about splitting. I will hunt around on this site to see what else could be done, besides her keeping them up and walking as much as she can.I picked Isle of Skye because I went there as a young woman and it was such a beautiful and magical place, especially the faerie glen. I have some Scottish blood and was amazed at how at home I felt when in the Highlands, how it all seemed familiar yet wonderfully different at the same time. I saw so many people who looked like my (United States) relatives, and really enjoyed the amazing energy of the land itself and the generous and strong nature of the people. From the Isle of Skye I journeyed to the Outer Hebrides and then on up the west coast and to the Orkneys, then down to Inverness. One of the highlights of my life, that journey was!
Hi Helen,
Welcome to the site. Sorry that you had to find us all here and I am sorry to hear about your friend Bonnie as well. But, I am glad that you’ve joined us all here as you’re in the best place for support and help and I know you’ll get loads of each from everyone here. And what a good friend you are as well to Bonnie in your taking great care of her and helping her as you do.
I so know how you feel right now, we all do and I know that feeling as well of being out of words. Please keep coming back here as you are among friends who care and know what you are going through. I’m sorry to hear you say that Bonnie is doing worse and I hope that hospice will help here in making her as comfortable as they can. Her comfort right now is of the utmost importance and I am sure that hospice will help with this. My dad went through hospice and they took real good care of him, and I have nothing but good things to say about the care he got from them.
Sorry that I missed your post earlier. Your username jumps out to me with me being Scottish! For those who don’t know, The isle of Skye is one of our Islands here! I wonder how you came up with your username Helen? Do keep coming back and feel free to ask any questions and we’ll help if we can. We are here for you and we care.
My best wishes to you and Bonnie,
Gavin
Thank you everyone! Bonnie is entering hospice tomorrow and will get an evaluation where they decide if she’s there just for a 5 day ‘break,’ or if she will stay there from here on out.
I am out of words tonight, as I visited her earlier this evening and she is so much worse . But being able to come here and read what you all have said feeds my soul.
Hi Helen, sorry you had to find us. I, too, think your post was beautiful. I try to remember to appreciate every day I wake up, also. If this journey has taught me one thing it’s that you never know what’s around the corner.
I’m sorry Bonnie is declining so rapidly, but am glad she has her family and a very special friend to support and love her.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Bonnie.Helen,
What a great friend you are to Bonnie. I am so sorry she is going through this. I have had incredible friends come along beside me through this journey and I know what a huge difference it makes to have your true friends beside you through the hard times. Hugs and prayer to you and Bonnie.
MelindaHelen –
So sorry you had to join this group but you will find support that you and your friend need. You are indeed a special friend to Bonnie. I wish you both as many special days as possible.Hugs,
KrisVHelen,
I too am sorry to hear about your dear friend Bonnie and what she is going through. You are a wonderful, supportive friend and she is lucky to have you on her side.
Darla
I’m so sorry about your friend. You are indeed a special person to be able to help her through this journey–she is very blessed to have you. Prayers for you and Bonnie.
-SisDear Helen, what a beautiful post, indeed. I am so very sorry about your dear friend Bonnie. I have one question and that is, do you know if they got a 2nd opinion? What an amazing friend you are and you will be strong and you will hold on because that is just what you are doing with Bonnie now. Not everyone can or will do what you are doing for her as it takes a very committed and strong person. The fact that she has already beat the odds the DOCs gave her, one never knows for sure and I believe we pick our own time. Be strong and please let us know how Bonnie is doing if you can with updates. You never know how strong you are until “strong” is the only choice you have!
Hello,
I thought Mom’s diagnosis had helped me appreciate each day, but your beautifully written post brought tears to my eyes this morning . I am sorry that your firend has been been afflicted with this cruel disease, but glad that she has her family and your close friendship to support her.Thank you for sharing.
Catherine
Hi everyone, another reluctant new member here. My name is Helen and I live in WA state. On April 18th of this year, my dear friend Bonnie was diagnosed with bile duct cancer and given 2-3 weeks to live. The disease was too far gone for anything to be done except palliative care. Tomorrow will be her 3 month anniversary of getting the news. I don’t even know what to write except that the last 3 months have been full of heartbreak, grace, courage, love, tears, laughter, anger, grief, shock, and some very blessed times spent with my friend – taking her on walks, visiting with other friends, helping her and her husband, seeing how the worst of times can bring out the best in people.
Watching an amazingly strong woman decline so fast, watching as each ability is slowly taken away from her, is inexplicable. I hold onto the morning sun, my daughter, the sky, my husband, our cats. I hold onto the summer flowers and music and knowing that love really is all that matters. I hold on as hard as I can and sometimes I feel like I can’t hold on anymore but I do. I do it for Bonnie. I don’t know how much time she has left but I don’t think very much. I don’t know how I will hold on after she is gone.
Thank you all for being there and for sharing your stories.
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