Home hospice- yes or no
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I thought I would add that my kids were a 17year old and two boys in their early twenties,one with bipolar disorder and of course my husband and I were desperately worried about them….as you would ,but it certainly adds another level there to parents of teenagers/young adults-they are another kettle of fish to younger kids ,so I do understand your concerns Janet
As others have done, we talked about this before my Jim got really sick. We live with our daughter and her family and they have 2 children 6 and 8. For the months before Jim got bed ridden, The kids were so well adjusted after a few months, that they handled it all so well. They even saw him after as well. They asked many questions and we answered them honestly (mostly) They ended up feeling sad but included in the process. We had Hospice. This was a great help to us. We had 24hr nurses the last 3 days. It gave us a chance to rest off and on. It was helpful to have someone else handle all the pain meds because we were afraid to give too much. They assured us it was never too much and Jim was mostly comfortable during those 3 days. We were all with him when he passed and it was beautiful but very sad. Keep being strong for your kids. Kids are stronger than we know. Be honest to a point with them. It takes the fear out of the process. Keeping you in my prayers. Donna
I think it is a decision that has to my remain flexible because in the end it is not your decision but your husbands so when my husband was in your position,we talked it over and decided together that preferably,he would remain at home but if I thought he should be in hospital/hospice then that would happen.A lot depends on symptoms and speed of progression,it is not always predictable so a flexible plan is the way to go Janet
People have the most wonderful things to say about home hospice. I also think your children will want to spend as much time as possible with you. A 14 year old cant drive so being away would limit her ability to see and spend time with you. That is something so precious and should not be discounted lightly.
Kris
JToro,
I know it’s a hard decision but from my point of view, the unknown is sometimes worse than reality. I believe your children would imagine the worst if you went outside the home. I know you want to protect and shield them but sometimes we can teach them so many more things by allowing them to experience the less comfortable times.
You are already showing them that you are LIVING with cancer NOT dying from cancer. You are so strong and will leave two precious legacies whenever that time comes.
I’m older but I wouldn’t ever give back the experience of being with my Mom when she died. It was such a precious moment and I truly believe she went from our hands to God’s.
Just trust yourself and your instincts. You are an amazing Mom and you will do the right thing. You also know your children better than anyone. Maybe talk with them and see how they feel. You are also in the best place to gauge how they are handling this.
I guess I’m just trying to tell you not to close any doors and go with your gut. Mother’s intuition is usually right.
Hugs to you and yours!
Pam
We are also discussing this now. I think Teddy has decided to stay here until like the last week or so and that could change to just being here. He felt it would be easier on me than to have me constantly running to him. It would also be easier for family who come in from out of town and friends. I kind of like the idea that someone from Hospice would also be here with me and to help any family member who might be having a hard time. Let’s face it, bottom line? Teddy would never miss a good party! (Sorry that is our sense of humor).
I am not at this point yet, but have been thinking towards the future. I have a wonderful husband and 2 children 14 and 17. I don’t want them to have to see me sick and suffering when this disease progresses. It will be too difficult. Is it better with children to go outside the home at this time? It all seems so wroong. Being a mother I want to protect them from everything.
JToro
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