Husband back in hospital
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Isisman….I am sorry to hear of the newest developments and agree with what has been said so far. You might also request to speak with the head nurse or, the nurse on shift. Put out your questions and ask for a report either, written or, verbal when you come to visit your husband.
My heart is with you,
Best wishes,
MarionDear Isisman,
I am sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through right now. Hopefully now that your husband is back in the hospital the doctors will be able to sort something out with regard to his pain and inabilty to take in calories. I know that this is not easy at all to deal with and I can relate to what you are going through as I was there with my dad throughout his fight. It is hard to watch loved ones go through this.
I so agree with Kris about you being there to speak with the doctors when they are discussing issues with your husband, especially if they are giving bad or not so good news. I know that a few times the doctors would talk to my dad when I wasn’t there and then he would try to tell me what was happening and would get confused about everything, and this added to his stress and agitation. Perhaps the doctors would be able to talk to you directly if your husband gave them permission to do so, even if he wasn’t there? Then you could discuss what was said with your husband.
I know that right now it might be hard or seem impossible, but if you can, try and take just even a few minutes for yourself during the day to relax. And know that we are all here for you and know what you are going through.
Best wishes to you and your husband,
Gavin
It sounds like you are struggling there…and no wonder. You have a lot on your plate and you are only one person. Yes your husband needs you, so do your kids and everything else in “life”. Hang in there. Hopefully the doctors will figure something out soon, but dont judge yourself for wanting this all to stop. No one here is judging you and if we were all being truthful, all of us would admit that we have felt the same way at least once.
Perhaps the best thing you can do is to ask the doctors not to discuss with your husband technical things until you are there. I am sure this is something they deal with regularly. I have been so out of it that I have had complete conversations with doctors and friends in the hospital that I dont remember taking place at all. But do tell your husband you are doing this because he needs to be kept in the loop about what is happening and why some discussions may need to be postponed.
Gemzar can completely make your labs wonky. I dont think most people get through the regime without at least one delay. Maybe they can start again in a week or so.
I know when I am stressed, I shower in the dark. It is the only thing that relaxes me sometimes. Perhaps you can find that something (a bath, a glass of wine, a walk with the dog) that gets you some private time so that you can focus on you. Remember that you are still you, not just a care giver. You have emotions and needs too.
Take care.
KrisMy husband has been suffering greatly, pain, increased pain, and morphine pump has been increased 3 times and still no relief. He doesn’t absorb calories or pain meds and we keep saying something is terrible wrong and getting worse. So we roughed up the oncologist and had him admitted to the hospital. They will manage his pain and do lot of exploratory tests. they need to figure this out. My husband is scared to death since he feels like he is dying and losing the fight. I see him losing too. It is awful. You really have to push and push to make sure you get on the top of the list. We beleive we are in great hands and look forward to some resolutions. I unfortuantely am struggling wtih juggling kids, school. work , hospital visits etc every day and I do not get enough time to spend sitting with my husband. He doesn’t retain what the doc says and any bad news, without me by his side, can be devastating or forgotten or misconstrued since he is so “out of it”. I’m so tired of this day after day after day. It is hard to admit, but I want it all to stop. Oh his cancer returned so they began Gezmar (?) once a week, but labs so “off” that they couldnt’ give his a second one. What a mess.
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