I HATE CC!!!!!!!
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I too can relate to what you are feeling. Andie is right when saying it’s the worst rollercoaster ever! It’s been discussed quite a bit on this site, but I’ll mention it again – what we are experiencing is called “anticipatory grieving”, and it sucks. We are grieving a loss that we know is coming, and I think that it even though it is much different then what we face when our parents are gone, it’s still so very hard. Things seem okay and you get your hopes up, only to have them slammed into the ground every time something new happens.
I should really follow my own advice, but try to enjoy the precious time with your Mom and make the most of the memories you are able to make with her. The memories and the good times are what will carry us through the difficult times when they are gone… or so I’ve been told, and trying really hard to remember!
Thinking of you,
Jen
Dear Andie – I relate so well to your anger and frustration and the roller coaster ride that isn’t any fun. There are days that I think I can’t handle it anymore and days that I think when he’s gone I’ll pray for a day to have to handle it again just to see his face or hear his voice. Sadly, his personality has changed and he isn’t the same person most of the time. Perhaps it’s the medication for pain, but he had changed even before that. I am used to a loving husband who treated me well and considered my feelings about things. That man is not with us much any more. I miss him and have had to grieve some losses already. On days when we get a glimpse of the man he was, it is a day for rejoicing and celebrating the life we have shared. We are trying to take one day at a time, but it is so hard because we are a little afraid of what the next day might bring. Hang in there and come back often. Hugs and blessings, Susan
Dear DevastatedDaughter,
My heart goes out to you and I wish I could give you a big hug right now.
Since my Dad was diagnosed in April after 5 weeks in hospital with Jaundice, we have spent all this year in and out of hospital. having our hopes raised only to be dashed again. It’s physically and emotionally draining, and the worst rollercoaster I have ever been on! We have been told my Dad only has a few months as no treatment is available now. They say to take one day at a time but it’s hard. I too feel angry, frustrated and keep asking myself why? I too feel like I can’t handle this anymore but we have to stay strong for our loved ones. It’s the hardest thing I have ever been through and at times I think it’s just a bad nightmare that I’m living.
I know that this site is the only place I can vent my anger or share my worries, so please vent away.
Sending lots of love to you and your Mom
Dear DD – I am so sorry for your pain. It is such a difficult process. Keep coming here and letting your feelings out. Journaling is a benefit too. Sometimes those difficult feelings are so draining and getting them outside your body is better. Let those who care about you and your family help shoulder the burden and cry, cry, cry when you need to. I will say prayers for you and your family today. Blessings, Susan
Wish we could all give you a group hug! I know how you feel, because my Mom is fighting cc also. She was given her time frame and she simply said OK and that she was not going to dwell on it and was going to live every day to the fullest. Some days are full of “ick” and others are great (we get to talk, cat nap, snack, chill). Just go day by day and remember we are here for each other.
We feel your pain. I know how much it devistates me when Dad is taken back into hospital, and just how hard it is to cope with the roller coaster of hope and dispair that seems to follow this dreadful scurge.
None of us want to be on this journey, and our dream would be to rid the world of cc, starting with our loved ones.
Just know that we are here to support you, and listen when you are upset. We will share in your grief and cheer with you on every small success.
I’m sending a huge cyber hug your way. OOxxOO
I just hate this disease. My mom is in the hospital again…..
Not doing very good
I am just devastated and I cannot handle this anymore….I hate CC more than anyone can imagine and I hate that it came to find my family….
She is very weak, does not eat anything anymore and the doctors are keeping her in the hospital….again.
I just hate cc, hate it!!!!!
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