Is the end near? Update on my MIL
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Mark,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Lori. I was the caretaker for my dad for 14 months. I hope your family surrounds you and you can relish in the memories
Stacey
Mark, I am also sorry to hear of Lori’s passing. You both fought heroically to the end. I know it is hard to let her go. Sending healing thoughts your way. Nancy
Dear Mark,
I am so sorry to hear that Lori has passed on. I have been where you are now and it’s not easy. May knowing she is no longer in pain or suffering and is now in a better place help easy your pain. Lori will always be with you in your heart and memories. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
With Love & Hugs,
DarlaI have not been on this for many weeks due to my wife’s decliding health. She has been on a trial at USC & it was stopped due to the Doctor saying it was not shrinking her tumor.
We had another visit to USC to work on the biliary drains on April 28th & come later that day. We were going to start on a new trial as soon as my wife had the strength to start again.
Unfortunately Lori passed in the morning of May 7th.
I would like to thank everyone for their support for me and my family during these past months
Haven’t been on here in a couple of weeks. Lost my dear mother in law and finding some time now to reflect on this dreadful cancer. She didnt deserve to be a victim, so was so gentle and kind. To all of you that have this cancer and the ones who love you, take time to spend time with your family. Thank you all for the wonderful relationship and a place to find information and what a great place you all made for us to lean on each other.
Mazduc:
The hardest part of being a spouse and caretaker is to admit that perhaps there IS nothing more we can do! I have been there many times in the past three years since my husband Tom was diagnosed with this evil cancer. And there have been times when I thought that I would be calling Hospice. I think that my Tom has a guardian angel watching over him because each time he has bounced back and currently we are on top this roller coaster ride! And I am hoping that he’s able to be with me for as long as God sees fit.
I know in my heart of hearts that someday this cancer will take him from me and I know that I too will have to make the decision to call in hospice. The most that I can say is that “It Sucks” to have to be the one to make that decision. But do not chastize yourself. You DO want what is best for Lori and you want her to be comfortable. She knows you love her.
Just as Isselure does, when our loved one gets to the point of calling in hospice – all we want is for them to not be in pain and be comfortable as they pass into our Lord’s arms…to their special place in Heaven.
Go with God.
Hugs to both you and Isselure!Margaret
Oh Mazduc – You did not let her down. You have done all that you have known to do and more by loving her. It is hard for you and you want to do more, but just hold her and share your love. Hospice is not giving up, it is opting for more comfort and peace and support for all of you. You have done a great job. Hold her close, whisper sweet nothings and sweet somethings in her ear, and thank her for being who she is and what she has added to your life. blessings and strength for the coming days, Susan
Dear Mazduc, my heart is just crying for you as I went through this 5 months ago today for my husband Teddy. You have done all you can do as a good and loving husband and perhaps it is time now to give her as much comfort as possible both physically and mentally. Comfort is the key word here. I do believe that we all know when it comes to ourselves when enough is enough. You have not let her down because you called Hospice but you are giving her that peace and comfort. You can ask Hospice for Oxygen which will help her breathe and relax so that she is not using all her energy in fighting this crazy CC. You sound like a wonderful, loving husband and that is the best medicine she can have now. My prayers go out to you both.
Wow, I just am starting the whole Hospice thing too. My wife who has PSC for many years & just found the bile duct cancer during Thanksgiving of last year.
I just talked to Nancy Slone & she was a great help. I was very sad to hear about her daughter in law.
We have been to USC on a trial med called pazopanib. After about 2 months, USC said it was not working. They said we will have to be taken off the trial. They did say that an option of using FU5 & another med would maybe work, maybe not.
So we went home to start getting, Lori my, wife strong enough to start the next step be it chemo or what ever Lori will see fit for her.
There has been a decline in her health for the past few weeks, she is not eat very much, if any. Her sick color has changed from the jaundice yellow to more gray & she is sleeping a lot. She tries to talk & it is just a light breath that is hard to understand. I know her mind is there, but her body may not be able to keep up. She is just so weak.
So I was out of ideas & have her on hospice, which I feel I have let her down & giving up! They say rough time line is a month. I am not ready for her to go & I feel to do the 4th quarter helroics. But, earlier this week, she told me that this sucks!!! That is why I went to the hospice, I could not take her into USC again, I felt she did not want to go again!
I know deep down I did not let her down, but we are to fight this until the end right. I guess the hard part is just watching her body go away and not be-able to do anything.
I guess I really can not fix her, but being a dude, I think I can. Her liver is just way too sick & it is just trying to hang in.
Dear Isselure – I agree with others who have suggested having hospice prescribe and deliver liquid meds that can be put in the cheek or under the tongue. They work really well. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings, Susan
Hubby called Hospice today and MIL had a better day than yesterday but of course no days are really good. Hospice is coming out tomorrow to help out even more. We also have the 24 hours being covered. We just want to make sure she is in no pain or discomfort. Yesterday was a glimpse of just what is ahead, it’s just so so so sad. Thank you all for the input.
Isselure…..Please, make that call. Also, if you would prefer (often times it is very beneficial to the patient and family members) you might want to consider hiring a nurse for 24 hour staffing. Or, Hospice may have a list of aids (working in shifts) who are experienced in this process. This is unfamiliar territory to most of us and a helping hand may be just what is best for all.
My heart is with you,
Marionisellure,
You might want to give hospice a call and ask for a nurse consult. They can prescribe liquid meds that can be dripped in a patient’s mouth with a simple syringe or there are also pain patches. Your MIL should be comfortable and you and the rest of the family could use some moral support during this time. I too absolutely hate this monster of a disease that has taken so many from all of us.
I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. My heart is breaking for you.
Here is a link from hospice you might want to read.
****SENSITIVE LINK FOLLOWS…….SENSITIVE LINK FOLLOWS…….****
http://www.hospicefoundation.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=62884Hugs,
PamSo, so sorry, Isselure. Can’t give info about the moaning, Teddy never moaned even though he was in a lot of pain so perhaps she is not feeling the pain and maybe the Meds are making her moan. I would think if she was uncomfortable she would be agitated. You can call Hospice and ask about the moaning. There is one thing for sure, we ALL hate this cancer! My prayers are coming to you and your family.
First thank you all for making this awful journey for my MIL at least a somewhat informed journey. My MIL has really taken a turn for the worse. Today shes moaning while she sleeps, hubby cant really even get her alert. Having a hard time getting her meds in her but getting them down in time, Not eating or drinking and really no communication from her today. Hospice came by for their every other day visit, but it was only an aide so she asked a few questions and left. This is so sad. The moaning is new and we just dont know what to expect next. Please keep us all in your prayers. CC is an awful disease and my MIL never deserved anything like this. I hate this cancer!!
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