Is this the end??

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    Dear Honeez,

    I am so very sorry indeed to hear of the passing of your dear dad. Please accept my sincere condolences. As you say, he is no longer suffering and in pain and I am glad that all of his family was there by his side. Please know that we are all here for you and my thoughts are with you and your family right now.




    I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Please except my sincere condolences. I’ve always loved this poem and it’s helped me through rough times.

    I am standing by the seashore.
    A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
    and starts for the blue ocean.
    She is an object of beauty and strength,
    and I stand and watch
    until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud
    just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.

    Then someone at my side says, ‘There she goes!
    Gone where? Gone from my sight – that is all.

    She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
    as she was when she left my side
    and just as able to bear her load of living freight
    to the places of destination.
    Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

    And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
    ‘There she goes! ‘ ,
    there are other eyes watching her coming,
    and other voices ready to take up the glad shout :
    ‘Here she comes!’


    Thank you all. Unfortunately my dad passed early this morning. The whole family was able to be there with him. I am so glad he is no longer suffering. This cancer is the worst :(


    Dear Honeez,

    I am very sorry to hear about your dad. I know how you feel right now as I was there where you are now with my dad. There is not much that I can add to what the others have said to you already, but I just wanted to add that the method of continuous medication infusion that Clare talks of is what my dad had in hospice. He was on the syringe driver for a while and it worked well for him. He got his meds that way and they helped him with agitation and nausea,

    Please also know that we are here for you. I wish you every strength right now and if we can help at all we will.




    Hi honeez,

    This must be very hard – I am so sorry. There are several things that your dad can have. There is no need for him to be agitated or in pain. Some medication can be given as a conitinuous infusion with more given if needed. My sister was on a morphine pump for 5 days and in the last 48hrs she had medication for the agitation and for her rattle chest added to it.

    Be with your dad – speak to him, hold his hand. He will know you are there – I am in no doubt about that. You are doing so well and being completely selfless putting his own feelings before your own. We are here for you. X



    I am so sorry about your dad. I experienced a similar scenario when my mother was in her last days. She seemed to come back to her old self for a short period and then went downhill quickly. I agree with Marion, we were able to administer the morphine ourselves and it was a great thing to be able to address my Mom’s pain immediately.

    You are doing the right things.



    Honeez….your Dad’s confusion and agitation most likely is related to the elevated ammonia levels in the blood. Although difficult to watch our loved one’s in this state of mind, the hospice nurse is addressing it by increasing the medication. In my personal experience, we, the family members, were given permission to administer the medications based on the symptoms arising. If indeed your Dad’s passing is imminent and a nurse is not present at all times, then you would want to clarify this with Hospice personnel.
    My heart is with you in this difficult and precious time.
    Hugs and love,


    Dear Honeez, I am so sorry to hear this. I have an article about the 10 Steps at the end. Would you like me to send it to you? You can find my email by clicking on my name on the post to the left, if you like and and I will send you the 10 steps. Teddy followed it almost to a T.
    DO NOT be afraid, you are doing the right things and the very end was not scary and we felt we were so privilidged to be getting a glimpse of the other side because of all the people Teddy was greeting. I am so sorry anyone has to go through this but your Hospice sounds great. Be very strong.


    Dad has been home on Hospice exactly one month. The last 2 days he has become more “out of it” just staring off, quiet. Yesterday morning he got the Rigors again then started to become agitated. The hospice nurse came over & checked him out. His blood pressure was low 90 over 56 & Heart rate up over 90. She gave him some Ativan & liquid morphine that seemed to calm him down. We gathered the whole family to the house and just stayed with him throughout the rest of the day..he seemed to be doing better late afternoon, we all watched the Angels baseball game & told stories, dad became animated & involved. It’s as if he had this new spurt of energy ! He woke up from a long nap than around 9:00 pm he started to become agitated again. We gave him more Ativan & liquid morphine but it got worse. He then soiled himself & was talking gibberish & hallucinating. Hospice came over around midnight ( they are so great) and gave him more drops. They said his agitation was a sign of pain & discomfort. He had a temperature of 101 so she gave him a Tylenol suppository. Also ended up putting a diaper on him. His bp was even lower & heart rate up very high. She said she thought he would pass this weekend. We are all just so scared. He seemed to be doing fine then so suddenly turned the corner. As much as I don’t want him to go, I hate seeing him suffer like this. How long will this stage last? We all gathered in his room telling him we loved him what a great father/ husband is & that its ok to go. This is all just so hard :(

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