It is so very hard
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Dear CM,
You’re doing all the right things and I am glad that you went to the Doctor!!! There is so much practical advice on this board which will make direct improvements, i.e. with appetite etc.
The best medicine is hope. My beloved Jim and I maintained a solid hope for his survivial and it made our days together so very precious. Prepare for everything but live with hope, rather than fear.
The best advice I received from a friend (who I thought was crazy at the time…) was although these days are sooooo incredibly stressful and you may feel insane with fear, enjoy every day, as difficult as it is. It’s great you’re going on this trip and I hope that you ahave a WONDERFUL trip.
Sending you lots of prayers and good, healing energy.
Dani
Dear CM, I understand your “ride” totally! I am so glad that your husband is doing better. My husband is also stage IV with mets to liver and bones. Doug does poorly and sleeps for days and I worry and then he bounces back and wants to get out and do things. The other day he said he wanted to take me out for dinner and I was so tired and really wanted to stay home but I did not want him to miss the opportunity of going out for dinner so I went. We had a great time! So we continue the “ride” and enjoy the ups. Hoping your trip is all UP! Sounds like you have a good doctor. You will be in my prayers. Nancy
Thank you all so very much. We are heading off soon- I will let you know how we get on. Things seem brighter already.
Thank you again.CM,
Two things I forgot to mention. One of the prescriptions my Mom took was called Megace….it’s an appetite enhancer that worked very well for her. The other thing I found is a protein supplement from a company called unjury.
Their protein supplements are medical grade and dissolve with no aftertaste or grit. I added it to lots of Mom’s food. They have a great website and I order from them to this day.
Hang in there. This is the time when you do 5 minutes then tackle the next 5 minutes.
We’re all here for you! Please keep in touch and have fun on your trip!
Hugs,
PamDear CM,
Just read the posts and just wanted to let you know I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. Take care of yourself too! My best wishes for a relaxing and enjoyable trip!! JennyDear CM – I am so sorry for these difficult days. My husband became fearful and (sometimes) angry at CC because he was used to being strong, healthy and taking care of everyone else and when he became so weak he didn’t know how to handle it. I am so glad you contacted the doctor. I surely hope the steroids help and that you are able to talk to the doctor about an assessment for depression and medication for that. Please continue to share your feelings and what is going on as we will be here for you and we understand how tough this can be. My prayers are with you. Blessings, Susan
CM….the steroids may really do the trick for your husband. There might also be a possibility for him to be suffering from depression and that definitely would be something you would want to mention to his physician. Many of our members have needed extra help with coping and there is no shame attached to asking for a prescription. I hope you are able to go on your trip. Have fun.
All my best wishes,
MarionC, I am so very glad you called the Doctor. I know what you mean by your husband’s traditional role. My husband was the same way. They not only feel they have no more control over their own bodies they worry about how they are going to take care of us. After Teddy had his Whipple, I took over most of the responsibilities like paying the bills, generally taking care of business. Eventually he relied on me for all decision making and he knew I had become a very strong woman. He then relaxed. One suggestion about eating. I used to give Teddy small snacks during the day. Every morning he had Carnation Breakfast, he really liked it and I used to blend in a banana or other fruit. One drink takes the place of a meal. If you go on your trip, have a wonderful time!
Dear C,
Hoping tomorrow is a better day for you all. I’m glad the blood results had improved, that’s a good sign.
I can only imagine what a cc patient goes through. We always said my Dad never suffered pain physically but he did mentally. The once head of the family had to slow down and recieve help rather than be the one who gave it.
Stress can effect the appetite, I have had to force myself to eat since my Dad passed away. Perhaps little and often instead of 3 meals a day. I know at points eating became a chore to Dad, especially on down days. Perhaps now the Doc has given your husband a pep talk it may make all the difference.
Enjoy your break, prayers coming your way x
Thanks for your messages- I called the doctor and he has prescribed steriods- he will start them in the morning and hopefully they will do the trick. Plus too they need to be taken with food.
He gave my husband a pep talk. He is exhausted and not able to eat today but hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
On the upside his bloods looked positive on the last test about 3 weeks ago.
Doctor thought the trip would be fine but stesses that he needs to eat.My husband is a wonderful man but he is a worrier. He isn’t stressing me out it is just so very hard for him- we were married less than 2 years when CC came into our life May 2010- our daughter is not 2 yet. He is a traditional man who always wanted to protect and support me it is hard playing the patient role but so many of you know this already.
I will keep in touch-
I am praying for brighter days to come- maybe tomorrow. It is good to talk which is so very weird for me.C
CM,
I agree with Lainy and Marions. Fear of the unknown is overwhelming. I believe we are far better served fighting the fears we are aware of and know. Give the doctor a call just to settle your fear of whether taking the trip will put your husband at any risk.
I know your husband is fighting fear on so many levels right now. I would hazard a guess the biggest of which is the loss of control cancer brings to our lives. That said there are MANY medical interventions that can help with energy and weight loss. These are tangible things we can address that would add immeasurable comfort and strength to his daily life. One of the hardest things to deal with are learning to LIVE with cancer…that cancer does not dictate how you ultimately live your life.
What you are going through has touched all of us and we’ve all experienced these things you descibe. I can tell you that you will find a deep strength inside you never knew existed and you will get through this.
Never be sorry for posting how you feel or your fears. We all have broad shoulders and are here for you. I’m sending hugs and prayers for strength.
Hugs!
PamCM…..I agree with Lainy in that the physician should be contacted re: taking on the little trip. Is it possible for you to call the doctor? I sure hope that you will get the o.k. to go because, a little trip may exactly be what the doctor will order.
Others may also put out some of their suggestions as many have had to resolve similar issues.
I am thinking of you and I know that you will make the decision best for you and your husband.
All my best wishes,
MarionDear CM, I am very sorry to hear about your husband. I don’t want to sound harsh but you are not stressing your husband out, it is he that is stressing you out and not because he is ill but because he refuses the Doctor’s help. Unfortunately things can change quickly with CC. I would cancel the trip or put it on hold until he sees his Doctor THIS week. Perhaps the fears are not substantiated and you will still be able to travel. How will he get better without going to the Doctor? Even if news is bad there are things that can be done for him. It is the fear that is getting to him. If he has already been tired and weak , what if he gets worse on the trip? Do you have a clergy that can talk to him?
Please get him the help he needs and keep us posted, we truly care.Oh dear-
Our story seems to be following the line of so many who have joined this site. My husband is not doing so well. He has went down hill over the past few weeks- no energy or appetite. He does not look well. I keeping hoping he will turn around soon. He is refusing to go to the doctor- I think he is so very scared of more bad news.We are planning a short trip on Thursday over to visit some friends so we are going to wait to we get back next week.
I am worried so very worried- i hope we manage the travelling- could things have changed so quickly? Should I cancel this trip and force him to go to the doctor? I am stressing him out with my worrying.He completed chemo in Nov and since then he is getting 6 weekly bloods- what can we expect- Can he pull back from this? (Stage IV with secondary in liver & bones)
I have obedience to prayer on the days it is hard to have faith and I am thankful for that. We asked Sr Briege McKenna to pray for us and she truely believes in miracles- even wriiten a book on it. Maybe St Pio will interceed for us.
I am sorry I know these posts are hard to read especially for those new to the site- I am just having a bad day.
A worried wife.
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