Just in Shock!!!
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Darla, my first cruise was 35 years ago and we actually went to Haiti, it was lovely. I told T recently with our “physical” conditions I see that now as the only way we would be comfortable traveling. I know! We should sell the house and rent a cabin on a cruise ship for the next 10 years. What an idea!
WOW! A cruise expert and a travel consultant. I’m impressed.
Jim and I went on our first cruise in the 80’s as was suggested to us by our travel agent at the time. We were not sure about it, but loved it and went on several more through the years. The ones we enjoyed the most were the Caribbean ones. Our favorites were a 2 week Royal Caribbean one and a one week Windjammer Barefoot Cruise. I am so glad that we did all those things as I now have a lot of great memories.So anyway, back to business. I also think that sounds like a good plan. I think you two are handling things just fine. I will be hoping for the best results with the chemo. Take care both of you and keep on doing what you are doing. As Lainy says “Attitude is Everything” and it sure does seem to be working for her and Teddy.
Keep us posted as to how things are going.
Darla
Well, Jeff that all sounds like a plan. By the way Cruise Expert I have been a travel consultant for almost 30 years! Work from home now. Tell Marc he may be able to move a mountain but moving “CHINA” is a bit much.
Well, we discussed it and he is going to wait another week to go back to work. He is still a little weak and thinks he can move mountains. For example, the China Cabinet. I just can
Hi Jeff,
I have to agree with what everyone else has said. I think what each of you are feeling and how you are acting and reacting are all normal under the circumstances. Just take it one day at a time. You will get by and we are all here to lean on when you need us.
My best to you both.
Darla
Jeff:
I think that Marc is just feeling normal feelings after being hit with the shocking news about CC. He probably has a right to develop an ‘attitude’ and complaining about ‘silly’ things maybe comes with the territory.
Tom too (in my eyes as his caretaker) complains about silly things but as a caretaker you have to take a step back and realize that we have not been given a diagnosis of CC and we don’t know exactly what that does to the person with the diagnosis. And although we may think the complaints are silly, to the person that has CC they may be very valid complaints. I sometimes find myself wanting to scream and think come on Tom suck it up a little. Then I have to give myself a mental slap up alongside my head!!! So what if he complains that the smell of my cooking food makes him ill (it probably does) and so what if he complains that the blanket isn’t just right on the chair (smooth it out for him). Because in the end does it really matter?
Marc may also be a little frustrated because he’s been thrown off course, this was not something that was planned out in his life so it’s understandable. He will get back on track fairly quickly and if going back to work helps him to get back on track, then it’s probably good for him.
Take it one day at a time my friend! Things will even out and get better.
Go with God and KEEP KICKIN’ THAT cancer!
Margaret
Hi Jeff,
Glad to hear that Marc is getting home from the hospital. I am sure that he will be glad to get home, and also that you will be just as happy to have him back home as well. I know that my dad getting home did wonders to lift his mood!
As far as the complaining about the silly things, yep, my dad did that as well! He spent 3 and a half weeks in the hospital, home for a week or so then back in for another 3 weeks and these 3 weeks were spent in a small room on his own with the curtains drawn. I guess that if you spend a lot of time in hospital and have to deal with the diagnosis of CC etc, then I guess that you have the right to complain about some stuff.
If Marc wants to go back to work straight away then I guess that has to be up to him and his decision. He will know if he is up to it or not. If he is not up to it then I’m sure he will tell you, perhaps going back to work will do him good. There’s nothing wrong with being too protective about those that we love, thats just normal. I was the same with my dad. Everyday my dad used to go get the papers and the rolls for he and mum. No matter if he was having a good or bad day, he used to go every day for them first thing in the morning. I used to say to him that I would bring them round in the morning for him and save him having to go out, but his answer everytime was that HE wanted to go get them. He’d done that every morning for over 40 years and he still wanted to do it. Anyway, I’m starting to waffle here, but the point I’m trying to make is that for my dad, getting the papers in before he went to work was normal for him. When he retired, he still got the papers in and when he got sick, he still got the papers in, that was normal for him to do. Perhaps for Marc, getting back to work and his normal life is what he wants to do as well.
My best wishes to you and Marc,
Gavin
Personally I think so, and I also think it is normal to be over protective. If he really feels up to it I would let him try to do what ever he wants and if he gets too tired or not feeling well he will come home. Work will keep his mind busy and the best medicine is to feel in control of your life. Complaining of “silly” things kind of goes with the territory so just pretend you don’t hear. It too shall pass. You are being a great Care Taker but you need some alone time as well.
YAY! I love that the internal drain is working and the external one could be a thing of the past. It really is a big leap in the quality of life. Let the good news continue.
Kris
Oh my goodness Jeff and Marc what a wonderful awesome day it truly is. I always tell my kids when everything looks it’s bleakest that is when something turns it around. Those external bags are crazy. I just retold the story not long ago how Teddy’s external bile drain blew out on the airplane. What a mess! The seat cushions were soaked in bile. Now we laugh about it. I am sure Midwest has been told to never let us on again! Keep the good news rolling.
Hi Jeff,
A great day indeed! And with getting Marc’s benefits sorted out then that is one less thing to worry about. I hope that Marc can start his chemo treatment next week and that it works well for him.
My best wishes to you both,
Gavin
Hi Jeff,
You are so right, it is a great day. Glad to hear that things are starting to come together for you & Marc. Just remember the caregiver’s bill of rights and take care of yourself too so that you can be a strong, supportive advocate for Marc.
My best wishes to both of you.
Darla
Sorry I have not been too responsive the last few days, but the last two days have been very busy, BUT VERY POSITIVE!. First, we have straightened out Marc
Jeff:
I can echo what Lainy said. Low sodium levels are something that my husband has experience ever since he started his journey with CC. Pedialyte (UCK don’t know how kids can drink it) or Gatoraid may help with that. Tom drinks tons of Gatoraid and it helped him with his low sodium. His VA doctors recommended it to help with the low sodium levels. He also salts his food to help as well.
Tom also experience the feet and leg swelling while he was inpatient (after his resection surgery) Elevating the feet as much as possible and foot massages help with the pain that the swelling can cause. I’m sure Jeff would love to have you massage his feet! I’ve had to do that many many times for Tom just so he could get some relief. And putting compression stocking on BEFORE Marc gets out of bed also helps! He should be wearing them as much as possible during the day. (We also found out that in Tom’s case vicodin was causing some of the swelling) So if Jeff is using vicodin you may want to ask about getting another form of pain killer and see if the swelling goes down.
As a caregiver myself I can relate to it being hard to focus. You have to worry about Marc, about making sure that things are falling into place with the VA benefits, his medical care, work and on and on.
Somedays it’s just a struggle to remain focused. Let me tell you that there are days when I just want to scream and run away – or just go get a bottle and drink myself silly.
However, take a deep breath, let it out slowly and then begin by starting a list of things that need to be done.
Focus on the most important thing on that list and once that is done grab another and focus on getting that one done and on and on.
Never forget that you as a caregiver also need time for yourself. Even if it’s just walking away for a moment – going outside for a breath of air or to clear your head. Take a bubble bath with a glass of wine, listen to some soft music or go do something silly. You have to remain strong for Jeff. I know it can be hard, I have been doing this for 23 months now and it is do-able!!!
Prayers are still coming Marc’s way.
Go with God and KEEP KICKIN’ THAT cancer
Margaret
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